JESSIE Cave has shared that she was forced to end her pregnancy after doctors couldn’t find her baby’s heartbeat.
The Harry Potter star, 38, who played Lavender Brown in the wizarding film franchise, sat down on her podcast, Before We Break Up Again, to share the news last week.
But after receiving such a warm response to her heartbreaking news, Jessie has since shared more details about the experience over on her Substack.
On Substack, Jessie began by penning the context of what happened so her readers were all caught up: “TW: abortion. We [Jessie and partner Alfie ] released a podcast last week that’s got such a warm response.
“It was about us having a pregnancy that did not work out, or that we could not continue with….
“Basically, I had to have a surgical abortion. I felt really exposed talking about it, but I’m glad that I did, and the messages I’ve received have been hugely comforting and validating.”
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But she then delved in further, vulnerably sharing her first person experience of discovering that her baby didn’t have a heartbeat.
Jessie said: “As I lay down for the scan, I expect to hear a heartbeat instantly, like I have with all my other scans, but it’s silent.
“I say can I have the sound on? even though I know hearing a heartbeat will make me want to keep it even more than I secretly do – maybe I want my boyfriend to hear the heartbeat so he will want me to keep it too- but she says they aren’t allowed to play the sound, as if it’s a song on Spotify that’s been hidden because you’ve listened too many times: it’s for your own good.
“She [the nurse] asks me if I want to know if it is viable and do I want to know if it’s twins.
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“I get excited. Twins! Yes! what about triplets? Will I be allowed triplets! My boyfriend puts his head in his hands. I can’t reject this offer of twins? I can be a twin mum – finally fulfil my dream of a baby on each boob – but then I look at the screen and I see the dot.”
It’s from here that Jessie realised something was wrong: the dot on the screen appeared far too still.
“A little tiny dot, that’s very still. Oddly still. I feel an instant bittersweet relief that makes tears form.
“She [the nurse] kept measuring and measuring the little dot but I knew.
“She hugs me as we say goodbye. I almost instruct my boyfriend to hug her too.”
After going home, Jessie recounted how her daughter Margot sensed immediately that something was wrong.
“My daughter must have sensed a hormonal shift in me lately and says ‘mama you would tell me if you were having another baby, wouldn’t you?’ as we exit Euston station early January.
“She is amazingly empathetic for her age, sometimes her dreams scare me.
“I lie and say yes, of course, as I know I have what was the beginnings of a baby in my body right now. I am carrying something that’s not alive.
“A gestational sac, is what it’s called, apparently. Though I don’t like calling it that. I tell them almost everything, usually.
“We are an honest family. For example, they know about my forthcoming boob job. My little sacks of rice in black tights are hanging around my office, the kids have all tried the “boobs” on.
“They know we’ve [Jessie and Alfie] broken up twice, they know I am doing hair content to pay for their school meals.
“But I won’t tell them about this for a while. I know they would want me to have another baby.
“I would want to make them happy. But for now, I need to make myself happy.”
Jessie shares four children with her partner Alfie, who she met at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in 2012.
They were both performing stand-up comedy that night, but didn’t end up going on a date until two years later.
When it could be a miscarriage
A MISCARRIAGE is the loss of a pregnancy during the first 23 weeks.
It happens more than you might think. According to the NHS, around one in eight known pregnancies ends in a loss.
Figures from the charity Tommy’s show half of adults in the UK say that they, or someone they know, has experienced pregnancy or baby loss.
Symptoms can include vaginal bleeding and cramping and pain in your lower tummy, but some women don’t have any symptoms at all and will only find out they’ve had a miscarriage during a routine pregnancy scan.
The majority cannot be prevented and a cause is usually not known. But there are some things you can do to reduce the risk.
These include avoiding smoking, drinking alcohol and using drugs while pregnant, being a healthy weight, eating a balanced diet, and reducing your chances of infection.
If doctors suspect you have had a miscarriage, you will usually be referred to a hospital for an ultrasound. If confirmed, there are several options.
Often the pregnancy tissue will pass out naturally in one to two weeks, but sometimes medicine or surgery is needed.
There are also several potential risks, including bleeding, perforation and sepsis.
The process can be emotionally and physically draining, but there is support available.
You can contact The Miscarriage Association, Tommy’s and Sands for more information. The NHS also offers counselling services.
