She was five when I first took her to a junior parkrun and I was amazed at her attitude and ability. After a lifetime of seeing exercise as punishment, I could suddenly appreciate it

I was fed up with discussing the weather, so I started to ask unexpected questions. The conversations that resulted were revelatory

For years, I kept a stash of ‘nice things’, waiting for the right occasion to use them. The accident taught me to live now, rather than in the future

For years I tried to be the perfect girlfriend: bright, funny, engaging and fragrant. Then I stubbed my toe, and my ferocious roar of pain showed me I could be myself

I had always been hyper-independent, preferring to get the wrong bus than ask for help with my visual impairment. When I finally acknowledged it, I was overwhelmed by the love and support of friends and strangers

The letter he slipped beneath my bedroom door was brutal. But our lost relationship became the furnace that forged me

I should have been devastated when I came third in a public speaking competition. But the joy that came out of nowhere has shaped the rest of my life

When I opened my first restaurant, just before the war began, I was a perfectionist. My time in an army unit taught me about discipline and what’s really important

At 16, I fell for Giacomo when I was on holiday in Italy. Our young love didn’t survive my move home to Scotland, but years later, quite unexpectedly, we found each other again

I’d grown up as a people-pleaser, finding self-worth in others’ approval. But the bafflement and hostility I faced in the 1980s taught me to live on my own terms

I was working non-stop as a standup comedian, and thought I loved the hustle. But when I found myself sobbing into the carpet after a back spasm, I had to reassess everything

I was looking for liberation from the apps, but quitting them only made my life harder and turned me into a man obsessed

When the noise started, I entered a state of perpetual panic and despair. It was unstoppable. Then, in the snows of Transylvania, I suddenly came to terms with the sound …

Nothing went as planned after a talent scout plucked me from obscurity in a Japanese nightclub. Now, I was getting another chance to shine – in a rural community choir

I was stuck in a job that made me miserable – then my friend suggested I go to a yoga class. When we played a kids’ game, the dark clouds parted and my life took a radical turn

I always thought hitting the bottle made me the life and soul of the party, but sobriety helped me to be honest with myself – and make genuine connections with other people

I don’t believe in ghosts, but I am also an extreme people pleaser. If my living room was filled with judgmental spirits, it felt disrespectful to remain such a mess

We rode through the dark, through winding mountain roads to reach scenic nooks I otherwise would never have seen. From then, I had the confidence to make friends and travel more

I had my dream career in publishing, but was jumping from one emotional and romantic disaster to the next. Could I find stability and rootedness with a new life on an island?

As I punched and shouted, I knew I didn’t have to be demure, delicate or diplomatic. I could be as fierce as I wanted. Those three minutes set me free