It was 2018 and I’d just landed a role on HBO series Grisse. I was excited to meet the cast, who’d already started filming in Batam, Indonesia. After a flight from London to Singapore, then a ferry to Riau Islands, I arrived at my chalet. Even though it was late, I was invited to join the others at one of the villas.
About 20 people were gathered, eating, drinking and chatting loudly. I was given a drink and a bowl of noodles, then shortly afterwards the director and showrunner asked me to read a scene with one of the actors, Adinia. She was so graceful and precise in her reading, I remember sitting across from this woman and being in complete awe of her.
Adinia was from Indonesia, and another actor called Toshi was from Japan. The three of us became really close friends. We bonded over the power of stories, and we worked on our scripts together for the ambitious mie goreng western that is Grisse. Adinia was the daughter of a rebel leader. I was the Scarlet Pimpernel-type clown. It was a wild ride and when the show wrapped, we stayed in touch as friends.
Months later, I was back in Melbourne, waiting tables at a restaurant between jobs. Adinia, who was busy acting on film and TV shows, reached out to say she’d be visiting with friends. We met at Flinders Street station on a cold but sunny winter’s day. It felt really cool, exciting, to be wandering around my home town with her. She was endlessly curious about me, and I felt the same about her.
We didn’t say it out loud, but around that time we became exclusive. I’d fly to Jakarta or Bali (where her dad lives) and spend incredible weeks with her – followed by weeks and weeks apart. I didn’t speak Indonesian at the time, so every trip was a new discovery about each other and our cultures.
Later that year, when Adinia came to visit over summer, we were housesitting for friends in Melbourne. It was New Year’s Day, and I woke up with Adinia by my side. I flicked through little Polaroids I have of us in my wallet – picnics in Footscray, eating pork ribs in Ubud, on set in Batam. Then I picked up my sudoku book from the bedside table. As I started riffling through it I spotted a handwritten note at the bottom of one of the pages, in the right-hand corner of puzzle 239. It read: “I love you. Adinia.”
It felt like a cork popping out of a bottle. It was the only thing in the world at that moment. We hadn’t said the three words to each other before, so after a breath I nudged her awake. She nodded, smiled, and I said it back. I’ve always felt as if I have known this woman over many lifetimes before.
It was tricky to date long distance, and when the pandemic hit we’d spend our evenings on FaceTime, or playing Ghost Recon Breakpoint, hunting bad guys in fictional worlds.
We briefly lived together in Jakarta before I went back to Australia to do a play. When the next wave of Covid lockdowns happened, we spent close to a year apart. It was incredibly difficult.
Adinia was filming a Netflix show, and I ended up working as a secretary in my local GP clinic. That was when I started to save up for an engagement ring. Even though the situation was tough, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this woman. I video-called her father to ask for his blessing.
In 2023, we married. We had a small ceremony in Melbourne, one in Jakarta for extended family, then a ceremony in Bali with friends. We split our time between Melbourne and Jakarta now, always happy to return to our Australian shepherd Batu – the fluffiest boy you’ve ever met. His name means “pebbles”.
We share a love of complex characters, Shakespeare and Tolkien. As nerdy as it might be, every New Year’s Day we watch The Lord of the Rings trilogy in full. It’s a ritual for us. She’s a phenomenally talented storyteller, and I’m constantly becoming a better person because I feel truly seen by her.
We’re currently on tour together in Bell Shakespeare’s Romeo & Juliet. We play Lord and Lady Capulet. On stage recently she said, “I’m falling in love with you all over again.” To be continuing to fall in love with each other is very special indeed.
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Michael Wahr and Adinia Wirasti are performing in Romeo & Juliet, which is touring Australia now, finishing at Sydney Opera House from 19 November
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