When her doctor confirmed she was in menopause, Gabrielle Union felt robbed.
“It was shocking. It just wasn’t something that I was anticipating. It just felt like something that my mother would be dealing with, not me,” Union, the “Bring It On” and “Bad Boys II” actress tells Flow Space in a sit-down interview.
Union adds, “I felt very young, still dancing on tables in Ibiza.”
Union, 53, says she was barely playing mother roles in films and was often complimented for her youthful appearance.
“People have been commenting, ‘Oh my gosh. You found the fountain of youth,’” she says. “Well, the fountain of youth sprung a leak because I was experiencing hot flashes.”
Union had gone to her regular doctor’s appointment when she found out her hormone levels indicated she was entering menopause, which every woman experiences at the average age of 51.
“I felt shame, because it felt like, why is this happening to me?” Union says, who learned hot flashes are “like a box of chocolates” and don’t just arise at night. “There was a considerable amount of shame and embarrassment that it had gotten me, and what does that mean in terms of my beauty, in terms of my value, in terms of my relevancy? Can I be considered beautiful anymore?”
That shame is experienced by many women, exacerbated by the societal glorification of youth, especially for women in Hollywood who feel they need to stay young to be relevant. A recent survey found that half of women in midlife say the menopausal transition takes a toll on their mental health, with many facing an identity shift that changes the way they see themselves and their bodies.
At the same time, more women are talking about the realities of menopause and embracing this stage instead of hiding in it. Union says she came to realize that staying silent would only exacerbate the internalized shame for what is a natural physiological process.
“When we are suffering in silence on an island of isolation and shame, because you don’t want to be the old girl in the crew, you’ve doomed yourself to suffer in silence,” she says. “This whole movement is about bringing people in and giving you information and sharing resources and creating community and empowering us through this journey.”
Union says she does this by speaking out, staying in constant contact with her doctors, sticking to an anti-inflammatory diet, moving her body regularly, and recognizing the pearls of aging.
“Nobody wants the girl I was in 1995, and I don’t want her either. I mean, she was cool, but she’s gone,” Union tells Flow Space. “I don’t mourn the previous versions of myself. I look forward to who I am evolving into constantly. That new version of myself is emerging. I’m like, ‘Yes, girl. Come through.’”
