The Best Lube for Menopause to Combat Vaginal Dryness & Discomfort

Menopause causes everything from hot flashes to insomnia, but one of the most frustrating symptoms is vaginal dryness. This is something my mom talks to me about all of the time (because I write about sexual health and wellness for a living, this is a normal conversation for us, but it should be a common conversation for everyone!). And as two women with endometriosis, we’ve had our fair share of uncomfortable symptoms.

Vaginal dryness isn’t just about the irritation, the burning, or even painful intercourse. It can often leave us feeling disconnected from our sense of self or from what we’ve always known as our womanhood.

“Many women experience vaginal dryness, vaginal thinning, pain with penetration, or a general decrease in sensitivity — none of which are easy to navigate, especially if they weren’t expecting it,” says Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, PhD, sexologist, intimacy expert and relationships coach, and resident sex educator at pjur. “But there are options: from over-the-counter lubricants and vaginal moisturizers to pelvic floor therapy and hormone replacement treatments,” she adds. “It may take trial and error to find what works, and what you need could shift throughout perimenopause and into menopause.”

Best Lube for Menopause at a Glance 

• Best Overall: SUTIL Luxe Personal Lubricant
• Best Budget: plusOne hydrolube personal lubricant
• Best Water-Based: #LubeLife Water-Based Lubricant
• Best Silicone-Based: Überlube Signature Bottle
• Best Hybrid: Wicked Sensual Care Simply Timeless Hybrid + DHEA
• Best for Sensitive Skin: pjur Med SENSITIVE
• Best Vaginal Moisturizer: Good Clean Love Restore Moisturizing Vaginal Gel

What causes vaginal dryness during menopause?

As we age, our body begins to produce less estrogen. Estrogen helps keep the vaginal lining lubricated, thick, and elastic, and low levels can lead to vaginal atrophy (thinning, drying, and inflammation of the vaginal walls).

Sometimes vaginal dryness affects the vulva, too. In these cases, irritation may occur from clothing, sitting, exercising, or even walking. Some may also experience increased urinary frequency or recurring urinary tract infections (UTIs) with vaginal dryness. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists calls this genitourinary syndrome of menopause (GSM).

“Remember this isn’t just about pleasure, but it’s also about vaginal health because micro tears are not comfortable or fun,” says Dr. Heather Bartos, a board-certified OB-GYN and author of Quickies: One Hundred Little Lessons for Living Sexily Ever After in Midlife. “And they certainly don’t make the idea of intimacy more entertaining for the future — just ask Halle Berry about her publicized issue with this.”

How do I treat vaginal dryness during menopause?

The good news is that there are ways to treat vaginal dryness during menopause, including vaginal moisturizers and lubricants.

“I recommend being proactive during perimenopause and menopause with use of both a good vaginal moisturizer with hyaluronic acid two to three times a week regularly, and to make it a habit, similar to the use of face cream for moisture,” says Dr. Alyssa Dweck, a board-certified OB-GYN, NAMS Certified Menopause Practitioner, and Chief Medical Officer at Bonafide Health. “I also recommend vaginal lubricants — the fewer ingredients the better — during intimacy on an as needed basis.”

Supporting this approach, recent research highlighted by Dr. Dweck (and published in the journal Menopause) found that incorporating a 5 milligram vaginal hyaluronic acid insert into your routine can be just as effective as estrogen cream for treating GSM. This means there’s hope for women who can’t or choose not to take hormones, or who are in that in-between phase.

“Clinicians now have a clinically studied, non-drug solution to offer women who would otherwise choose to ‘tough out’ their symptoms,” she says.

​​What to Look for in Lube for Menopause 

Lube gets a bad rep for being unnecessary or a last resort when things aren’t working, but the truth is, you can use lube at any time and for any reason. And, when it comes to menopause, lube is a saving grace, especially when you’re dealing with vaginal dryness. But the type of lube you use matters.

“If you need daily relief, it’s best to go with a moisturizer that is oil-based,” says Marla Renee Stewart, MA, a certified sex educator (CSE) and sexpert for Lovers sexual wellness brand and retailer. “However, if you are only experiencing discomfort and dryness during sexual experiences, you can have relief by using water-based lube.”

Here are some other important things to consider when looking for the best lube for menopause:

Ingredients

When shopping for menopause-friendly lube, you’ll want to make sure its ingredients not only help moisturize but also keep the moisture in. Good Vibrations’ staff sexologist Carol Queen, PhD, concurs with the recommendations of Dr. Myrtle Wilhite, a physician specializing in internal medicine and general wellness, and co-founder of A Woman’s Touch sex toy store.

According to Dr. Wilhite, some ingredients to look for are hyaluronic acid, aloe vera and plant cellulose, and if you’re looking for something that’ll retain moisture for longer periods, she suggests trying something with dimethicone and vitamin E (sometimes listed in ingredients like tocopherol).

Lube Type

Lube comes in water-based, silicone-based, and oil-based formulas, and each one has its pros and cons, especially for those of us in menopause. Most experts recommend water-based lubes because they’re safe to use with condoms and sex toys, plus they’re easy to clean up. If you’re not worried about using condoms or sex toys, silicone-based lubes last longer and don’t dry out as quickly.

Dr. Queen also notes that while oil-based lubes can be slicker than water-based lubes, they can cling to tissues longer than they should. “Trying to rise them out via douching is a very bad idea,” says Dr. Queen. She also warns about plant-based oils that may contain allergens.

“If you have any food allergies or sensitivities associated with the plant-based ingredients in an oil or other lubricant, it’s possible you won’t react well to the substance when it enters the body in other ways, including via the vaginal [or anal] mucosa,” says Dr. Queen. “Given that perimenopause can include an uptick in that kind of reactivity, I want to encourage people to think that through before using plant-based products — do a test patch or something!”

pH and Osmolality 

During menopause, vaginal pH often becomes less acidic (higher pH value). A healthy vaginal pH is acidic (typically 3.8-4.5). So it’s important to look for a lube that’s pH-balanced — somewhere between 3.5 and 4.5 is the sweet spot.

“Terms like ‘hypoallergenic’ and ‘fragrance-free’ are also good signs that the lube is minimally irritating,” says Anna Richards, sex expert and founder of the erotic site Frolicme.com.

“Another important, but often overlooked, detail is basically how the lubricant interacts with moisture in your tissue, called osmolality,” adds Sarah Kelleher, LCSW, a certified holistic sex educator (CHSE) and sex and relationship therapist. “Some lubes with high osmolality can actually draw moisture out, which is the opposite of what you want.”

She advises looking for lubes labeled “iso-osmolar” or specifically designed for sensitive skin.

Compatibility

Always check the compatibility of your lube with condoms or sex toys. Oil-based lubes aren’t safe to use with condoms because they can cause them to break, but silicone or water-based options work great. However, silicone-based lubes can damage silicone sex toys, so water-based is usually the safest bet.

Additional Tips to Keep in Mind

Shopping for lube in your menopausal years is a bit different, but with the right information and the right product, you can still enjoy intimacy without the discomfort.

Here are a few tips from the experts to keep in mind:

There’s no such thing as too much lube. “Don’t be afraid to use more than you think you need and reapply, reapply, reapply!” says Kelleher. “Apply lube both internally and externally, and consider warming it in your hands beforehand if that feels better.” Note that you’ll want to apply it about 20 minutes before vaginal penetration. If you need help with the application, consider using a lube applicator. Stewart recommends the Lovers’ Lubricant Launcher.

What works for one person may not work for another. “Be aware that you may buy a lubricant that someone recommended and doesn’t work for you,” says Dr. Bartos. “Don’t feel you have to use it all up if you don’t like it, just keep kissing frogs until you find the one that makes you happy,” she adds. “And please don’t let your partner buy it for you, they just don’t understand how it feels.”

Incorporate masturbation into your routine. “I think the very first thing I’d recommend is to incorporate lubrication into solo play, especially if one has never used lube before,” says Dr. Queen. “Getting used to the sensation, exploring how much you need for comfort, eroticizing the process…these are all things you can do alone, one of the many, many reasons masturbation is such a great practice.”

Don’t forget about the “Pink Tax.” Some companies market the same products toward women and charge more for them (aka the Pink Tax). “One of my favorite cheap tricks? A popped vitamin E capsule in the vagina,” says Dr. Bartos. 

What to Avoid in Lube for Menopause 

It’s best to steer clear of specialty lubes with flavors, or warming or cooling sensations because they could cause irritation, especially during menopause.

“What sounds fun can sometimes feel like a chemical warfare experiment,” says Dr. Bartos. “You don’t need anything fancy — when I trained, we had fertility doctors that told patients to use Crisco shortening! But I would avoid anything that sparkles or smells like a fruit stand,” she says. “Anything flavored is also a no-go.”

Just as important as the ingredients that are in lube are the ones that aren’t. Avoid “parabens, petroleum additives, glycerin, and harsh preservatives,” says Dr. Queen. Most of our experts also recommend avoiding the following ingredients:

• Alcohol
• Chlorhexidine Gluconate
• Dyes
• Fragrances
• Harsh preservatives
• Nonoxynol-9
• Propylene glycol

And, remember: no silicone-on-silicone and no oil-on-latex!

Best Lube for Menopause and Vaginal Dryness