When actress and advocate Selma Blair took the stage for the final session of the Flow Space Women’s Health Summit, the room grew still. Moderated by SHE Media CEO Samantha Skey, the conversation was equal parts vulnerable and galvanizing—a reminder that telling the truth about one’s body can be a radical act.
Diagnosed with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis in 2018, Blair spoke candidly about the decades she spent searching for answers. “I was diagnosed with relapsing-limiting MS in 2018,” she said. “It turned out, I probably had juvenile MS, as my first optical neuritis was when I was about seven.” For years, she was misread, dismissed or told she was simply “emotional.”
“I realized that we do have to learn to be our own advocates,” she told the audience. “The medical system can be very daunting, but it’s not infallible, and we have to be our advocates. Our problems with our health should be much stronger than the fear we have of expressing them to a doctor.”
From Dismissal to Diagnosis
Blair described how easily women’s symptoms are minimized—a pattern familiar to many in the audience. “My mom would say, ‘Why can’t you give her an MRI?’ and they’d say, ‘She doesn’t need it. She’s probably getting her period,’” she recalled. “Then a boy from my class would come in with a headache, and they gave him an MRI right away.”
That lifelong pattern of being overlooked shaped her resolve to speak out. “Even though my version of MS is my own and doesn’t necessarily represent everyone else’s… it was very loving to me. It was the first time I felt comfortable talking to people publicly. I’ve typically been a very afraid person, and I think a lot of that came from always being unintentionally, hopefully, gaslit.”
The Power of Visibility
When Blair publicly shared her diagnosis on Instagram, she didn’t expect the global ripple effect it would spark. “When I did post that, I saw that there was a whole world that felt seen,” she said. “That was a comfort to a lot of people… and then it had a point to me—sharing felt good. It felt good knowing people were feeling some comfort.”
Soon after, images of Blair walking red carpets with a jeweled cane went viral, symbolizing a new kind of beauty and strength. “I just showed up with a simple cane—a cute cane,” she said with a laugh. “I didn’t realize that was such a statement. When young girls or young boys were putting things on Instagram with their canes or assistive devices, I felt empowered for them.”
The conversation turned to how appearance and self-care intersect with chronic illness. Blair described joining the skincare line ESK after finding products that helped her feel like herself again. “When I started to get my skin better… I started feeling a little better,” she said. “If it makes you feel good—if you have any memory of it making you feel good—do it.”
Redefining Identity
Though MS is now part of her story, Blair made clear it doesn’t define her. “I don’t identify as just being someone that has MS,” she said. “I’m an advocate, a patient, a mother, a friend.” Her honesty about the emotional toll of illness also landed powerfully. “I have something called pseudobulbar affect… It was a shock to realize I’m not totally bonkers. You think you’ll never learn something new at 50.”
That revelation—learning that uncontrollable crying wasn’t her personality but neurological damage—became another layer of self-compassion. “It was wonderful to me,” she said. “Because even though it took a long time to find the right management of my MS… I’m learning now to be kinder to myself.”
Speaking Up and Paying It Forward
Blair closed the discussion with a message to her younger self—a lesson that resonated with every woman in the audience: “I would say, ‘you are not lazy. You are not crazy. Your feelings are valid,’” she said. “I wish I gave myself that same kindness then. There’s no reason that shame or guilt should hold you back from living the life we should live.”
As the audience roared with applause, her words lingered—a call for women to trust their instincts, use their voices and believe that advocacy is not just healing for others, but for themselves.
