EXCLUSIVE: Paul Gascoigne says he will never stop drinking: 'I will die as Gazza'
Paul Gascoigne told the Mirror how he still falls off the wagon despite stints in rehab at home and abroad - the England football legend says: 'I just live for today'
Paul Gascoigne admits he has been unable to give up the booze after a lifetime of fighting his addiction. The England legend said it was impossible to explain why he was unable to stop. In an unflinching account of his alcoholism, Gazza told the Mirror how he still falls off the wagon despite stints in rehab at home and abroad. "Jimmy Greaves stopped drinking, but that is Jimmy Greaves," he said. "I am not Jimmy Greaves and I am not George Best. "I don't get drunk because I hate my mum and dad or I hate the public. It is not about that. I do it for the sake of it. I might regret it. But I don't think about yesterday, I don't think about tomorrow. I just think about today and live for today."
He joked that his loving mum Carol, 82, is now the only person on the planet who calls him 'Paul' and not 'Gazza'. Of the pain that addiction has caused his family, he said: "I have not changed, I cannot change, I would not know how to change.
"I will probably die as Gazza. But I have nothing to hide. The whole country knows what I have done now.
"I drank because I wanted to drink, I regretted the consequences afterwards. Now if I have a relapse, I do not go for weeks on end like I did before. Looking back, I must have hurt my mum and dad. But you do not think about it. The person you hurt the most is yourself."
Sporting a goatee and looking lean and fit, he has been in a reflective mood working on his new book 'Eight', published by Reach Sport. It promises to reveal the 'real Gazza for the first time', looking back on the extraordinary highs and lows of his life on and off the pitch.
He covers his marriage to Sheryl (they have not spoken for years, 'she has her life, and I have mine', he says); his footballing career, and his love for Bobby Robson, the great manager and Gazza's mentor at Italia '90 - still the high point of his fame.
But he is brutally honest too, about the lows, his bid to 'save' fugitive killer Raoul Moat when he was cornered by police in Rothbury, Northumberland, captured live on TV, while high on cocaine in 2010.
Paul's late father John had him sectioned under the Mental Health Act when he was at his lowest ebb, which he recounts in the book. "Even now, I miss my dad," Paul tells me. "He was doing what he thought was best for me at the time.
"I was done with cocaine after that. Maybe it is what I needed." It is rare for Gazza to meet someone who does not know him.
Asked what he would say if a stranger asked 'who is Paul Gascoigne?', he said: "I would be struggling to say. It is nice sometimes being Paul Gascoigne, but there are downsides. I want to just be me, I don't want to perform. I want to be sensible... The problem is that I get bored. Nobody knows him, sometimes I don't even know who he is."
When he is alone in his flat, he often goes out into Bournemouth to visit the homeless, who he finds sleeping in doorways.
"I try and do three good deeds every day," he said. "It was what I learned at Alcoholics Anonymous. On a Sunday, instead of watching TV, I often go and see the homeless. I might give them a sandwich, money, cigarettes.
"They are in doorways, there are so many of them, the police move them, and they may go into Boscombe but then go back into town. So I feel for them and helping them makes you feel good about yourself. I have the means to do it."
Gazza once estimated that he had blown around £20m over his career, as he battled with drink and drugs. His divorce settlement with Sheryl, mother of their son Regan, 26, a dancer, cost him millions.
In his book, he recounts how the pop star Robbie Williams once gave him a cheque for £3m. He refused it because 'that is how mum and dad' brought him up. He says that he also paid back money which the Professional Footballers Association gave him for rehab 14 years ago, around the time he moved to be closer to a clinic in Bournemouth.
He started doing his popular 'Audience With' for fans back then and joked: "Nobody could understand a word I was saying." The Geordie accent may be as strong as ever, but he often speaks in front of sell out audiences across the country.
I played alongside Paul briefly at Redheugh Boys Club in Gateshead, where we were both born and grew up. He was 12; even then it was abundantly clear that he was destined for stardom, such was his talent, and he duly signed for Newcastle Utd as a schoolboy.
As we say goodbye and drop him back home in Poole, Dorset, I shout out of the car window: "Look after yourself Paul."
He shoots back: "You are about 30 years too late for that Jerry," the nickname I had all those years ago back playing for Redheugh.
Before he leaves, he assures me: "I have had a great life, travelled the world, had everything money can buy.
"I have no regrets."
And with that, he is gone.
Paul Gascoigne Eight (published by Reach Sport) is on sale October 23. Preorder on Amazon now. Amazon link for online - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Paul-Gascoigne-Eight-Gazza-Revealed/dp/1916811434