Soft Skills & Emotional Intelligence

I Can Spot a Great Candidate in 30 Seconds - Without Looking at Their Resume. At Vicco Laboratories, the first few interview rounds are handled by our HR and leadership team. They assess skills, experience, performance history - all the standard checkboxes. But when someone reaches my room, I’m not evaluating capability. I’m evaluating character. Because skills can be trained. Character can’t. So in the final round, I deliberately observe three things before we even get into formal questions: 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭 1: 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐓𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐨𝐨𝐦 Before they enter, I always ask our receptionist to make them wait for a few minutes. Not to trouble them — but to observe: Do they greet her or ignore her? Do they show gratitude or entitlement? Do they smile or stay blank? Do they thank her when being called in? If someone is only respectful upwards, they’re not fit for leadership. 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭 2: 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐇𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐞 𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 During the conversation, I pause intentionally. A great candidate: Doesn’t panic when things go quiet Holds eye contact without overcompensating Thinks before responding, instead of rushing to impress Silence is a pressure test.  Silence exposes a person’s comfort with themselves. And self-assured people make better decisions under pressure. 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭 3: 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐀𝐬𝐤 “𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐈 𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐕𝐢𝐜𝐜𝐨”, 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 “𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐈 𝐆𝐞𝐭?” I watch closely when compensation and responsibilities are discussed. If the questions are only about salary, perks and timings, they’re employees. If they ask about learning culture, values, decision-making structure…they are already thinking as an owner. I’ll always choose alignment over achievement. So if you’re ever preparing for your final round anywhere — don’t just prepare your resume. Prepare your presence. Because long after your words fade, your character stays in the room. Sanjeev Pendharkar  Just sharing what I’ve learnt #values #business #hiring #hr #decisionmaking #cv #leadership #skills

One skill separates great communicators from average ones: Perspective-taking. The ability to see things from someone else’s point of view. But most people do it wrong. Here’s how to do it right, especially when you’re leading or being led: When you’re the boss, persuading down: You’re trying to convince Maria on your team to do something different. She’s pushing back. Your instinct might be to assert your authority. But that’s a mistake. Here’s why… Research shows: The more powerful you feel, the worse your perspective-taking becomes. More power = less understanding. So if you want to persuade Maria, don’t lean into your title. Do the opposite: dial your power down, just briefly. Try this: Before the next conversation, remind yourself: Maria has power too. I need her buy-in. Maybe she sees something I don’t. Lower your feelings of power to raise your perspective. From that place, ask: → What does she see that I’m missing? → What might be in her way? → What’s a win-win outcome? That shift changes the entire dynamic. Instead of steamrolling, you’re collaborating. And that’s how you earn trust and results. Now flip it. You’re the employee persuading your boss. It’s a high-stakes moment. You’re nervous. So do you appeal to emotion? No. Drop the feelings. Focus on interests. Here’s the key question: “What’s in it for them?” Not how you feel. Not your big dream. → Will it save time? → Improve performance? → Help them hit their goals? Make it about their world, not yours. Why? Because every boss has a mental shortcut: → Does this employee make my life easier or harder? Be the person who brings clarity, ideas, and upside. Not complaints, drama, or friction. In summary: → Persuading down? Dial down your power to see clearer. → Persuading up? Focus on their interests, not your emotions. Perspective-taking is a superpower, if you learn how to use it. Now practice, practice, practice.

It takes one minute to damage a career you spent 30 years building. Because success isn’t about skill or intelligence. It’s about emotional regulation. Exercising restraint instead of: → Engaging in a heated debate with a client. → Exchanging a sharp word with a colleague. → Sending an angry email in the heat of the moment. The second you lose control, you’ve lost. Emotional regulation is the biggest marker of career success. The good news is it’s a muscle you can build. Here's how: 1. Know Your Triggers → Identify what sets you off. → Do you feel threatened when criticised? → Awareness is the first step to control. 2. Hit Pause → Before reacting, ask yourself: What are the consequences of my move? → Regret minimisation is critical. 3. Reframe the Experience → What else could this mean? → Maybe the person was having a bad day. → Chose an interpretation that serves you. 4. Create a Delay on Emails Sent → Set a 10-minute delay on all outgoing emails. → This in and of itself could save your career. 5. Breathe → When emotions rise, take three slow breaths. → It signals your nervous system to reset. → Simple, but powerful. 6. Speak With Emotional Intelligence → Once you’re ready to respond, choose your words carefully. → Ask: How can I create the right outcome in a calm way? Remember: → If you choose restraint, you win. → If you reframe, you grow. And every time you stay in control, you keep your power. How important do you think emotional regulation is for career success? ---- ☀️Follow Deena Priest for career, leadership and personal development insights.

The Olympics have nailed their marketing without us realising 🥊🏅 I thought it was strange that the Olympics were starting on Friday, but I’d seen very little advertised. Anyone else? And then it hit me, whilst watching Sprint (my third newly added sports documentary on Netflix this weekend) & finding myself googling the dates of the athletes’ events at Paris, that I’d been indirectly marketed to in the most genius way. Here’s why, and more importantly, here’s why it worked: 1️⃣ Meeting the Audience Where They Are The Olympics faced a challenge: how to engage a generation that doesn’t watch mainstream TV. So, they went straight to where their audience spends time – streaming platforms. 85% of Gen Z and millennials prefer streaming over traditional TV. By launching multiple compelling sports docuseries on Netflix, they met their audience exactly where they are. 2️⃣ No Ads, Just Stories Research shows that storytelling is the most powerful tool in marketing – it's 22 times more memorable than facts alone. When you tell a story, you engage your audience’s emotions, and that connection is invaluable. It's this emotional engagement that turns viewers into fans and casual watchers into passionate supporters. No CTAs, no tracked links, just pure wonderful emotional storytelling at its finest. 3️⃣ Creating Emotional Investment These docuseries pull you into the personal lives of top athletes. You follow their journeys, their struggles, and their triumphs, right up to the competition before the Paris Olympics. This emotional investment is powerful. Suddenly you’re not only aware of these athletes in various disciplines, you’re invested in their success. 4️⃣ Building Anticipation By ending these stories on a cliffhanger, they’ve done something brilliant – they’ve made you care. You’re not just a spectator anymore; you’re invested in seeing these athletes win. And the next episode? Well that will be streamed live from Paris on mainstream TV. I know I’m not alone in wanting to see how these stories end. 5️⃣ Perfect Timing Timing is everything in marketing, and the Olympics nailed it. By launching these docuseries right before the games, they’ve ensured the stories are fresh in our minds. This makes the athletes' journeys a cultural talking point and keeps the Olympics top of mind. Strategic timing like this makes the content memorable and maximises its impact. Here’s the lesson: To truly engage your audience, focus on storytelling. Create narratives so compelling, people can’t help but follow along. Make them care about the outcome. When your audience is emotionally invested, they’re not just watching – they’re rooting for you. This weekend reminded me why I love marketing. It's not just about selling a product; it's about creating connections, inspiring emotions, and telling stories that resonate. So, next time you’re crafting your strategy, ask yourself: are you telling a story your audience will care about? I’m sold. Who’s watching?

Hire people BETTER THAN YOU and DIFFERENT TO YOU… Then LEARN FROM THEM. 🙏🏾 Sounds straightforward, doesn't it? Yet, why do so many leaders still struggle to grasp it? It’s because there's often hidden complexity beneath the surface. For example: 👀 Insecurity: Some leaders want to maintain the perception of being the smartest or most capable in the room. Therefore, surrounding themselves with highly skilled individuals could make them feel inadequate or threatened. 🔐 Need for Control: Hiring “less competent” team members could ensure that the leader remains the central figure, exerting control over important matters. 😱 Fear of Challenge: A diverse team can bring different viewpoints that might challenge the leader's ideas and decisions. 🧘🏾♂️ Comfort Zone: Some leaders prefer familiarity and ease, preventing them from being pushed out of their boundaries. ❤️ Misguided Loyalty: Leaders might adopt favouritism and hire people based on personal relationships or loyalties. 🤔 Short-Term Thinking: Hiring less skilled individuals could be a short-sighted approach to save costs or meet immediate needs, ignoring the long-term benefits of a talented and diverse team. 🤷🏾♂️ Lack of Awareness: Some leaders might just not fully recognise the value of diversity or the importance of surrounding themselves with skilled individuals. Leaders like the above ☝🏽are missing out on: 🧠 Amplified Intelligence: “Fuse Minds" Surrounding yourself with smarter people boosts team intelligence. Just like a puzzle, different pieces fit together to create a whole that's stronger than its parts. 🚀 Fast-Track Growth: “Learn from Experts" Learning from the best accelerates personal growth. Imagine being on a rocket powered by knowledge and experience – you'll reach your goals faster. 🤔 Constant Innovation: “Open Doors" Humility opens doors to innovation. Acknowledging that you don't know everything encourages openness to fresh ideas and creative solutions. 🏋️♂️ Informed Choices: “Embrace Thought Variety" Embracing diversity of thought leads to well-rounded decisions. Different perspectives catch what others might miss, reducing blind spots. 🤝 Unified Power: “Flourish in Collaboration” Collaboration flourishes when skills vary. Strength lies in unity, and a mix of talents creates a powerhouse of cooperation. 🌱 Trust Building: “Strengthen Culture" Inclusive leadership fosters loyalty and trust. Encouraging growth shows you value your team members, creating a supportive environment. 🚀 Ensured Continuity: “Smooth Transition" Passing the baton ensures continuity. When your team can carry the torch, you're free to explore new horizons without being tied down. In short, the aim of any great leader is to make your daily responsibilities redundant. This is best achieved by hiring people better than you, and those that share a different perspective. Empower them, learn from them and the rest will take care of itself 🦋

Should you try Google’s famous “20% time” experiment to encourage innovation? We tried this at Duolingo years ago. It didn’t work. It wasn’t enough time for people to start meaningful projects, and very few people took advantage of it because the framework was pretty vague. I knew there had to be other ways to drive innovation at the company. So, here are 3 other initiatives we’ve tried, what we’ve learned from each, and what we're going to try next. 💡 Innovation Awards: Annual recognition for those who move the needle with boundary-pushing projects. The upside: These awards make our commitment to innovation clear, and offer a well-deserved incentive to those who have done remarkable work. The downside: It’s given to individuals, but we want to incentivize team work. What’s more, it’s not necessarily a framework for coming up with the next big thing. 💻 Hackathon: This is a good framework, and lots of companies do it. Everyone (not just engineers) can take two days to collaborate on and present anything that excites them, as long as it advances our mission or addresses a key business need. The upside: Some of our biggest features grew out of hackathon projects, from the Duolingo English Test (born at our first hackathon in 2013) to our avatar builder. The downside: Other than the time/resource constraint, projects rarely align with our current priorities. The ones that take off hit the elusive combo of right time + a problem that no other team could tackle. 💥 Special Projects: Knowing that ideal equation, we started a new program for fostering innovation, playfully dubbed DARPA (Duolingo Advanced Research Project Agency). The idea: anyone can pitch an idea at any time. If they get consensus on it and if it’s not in the purview of another team, a cross-functional group is formed to bring the project to fruition. The most creative work tends to happen when a problem is not in the clear purview of a particular team; this program creates a path for bringing these kinds of interdisciplinary ideas to life. Our Duo and Lily mascot suits (featured often on our social accounts) came from this, as did our Duo plushie and the merch store. (And if this photo doesn't show why we needed to innovate for new suits, I don't know what will!) The biggest challenge: figuring out how to transition ownership of a successful project after the strike team’s work is done. 👀 What’s next? We’re working on a program that proactively identifies big picture, unassigned problems that we haven’t figured out yet and then incentivizes people to create proposals for solving them. How that will work is still to be determined, but we know there is a lot of fertile ground for it to take root. How does your company create an environment of creativity that encourages true innovation? I'm interested to hear what's worked for you, so please feel free to share in the comments! #duolingo #innovation #hackathon #creativity #bigideas

In 2011, the Amazon Appstore failed on launch and Jeff Bezos was furious. It was my fault, and I handled one aspect of recovery so poorly that one of my engineers quit. I still regret it 14 years later. Please learn from my mistake. The main lesson is that when you are leading through a crisis, it can feel like it is all about you. It isn’t. It is about: 1) Solving the problem 2) Guiding your team through it The product issue was that there were some pretty simple bugs, and we solved those problem well enough that I was eventually promoted. Where I failed was in guiding my team through the crisis. My leadership miss was that I neglected to encourage and support the engineer who had written the bad code. He did a great job stepping up and supporting the effort to fix the problem, but shortly afterward, he resigned. During the crisis, I failed to make clear to him that we did not blame him for the launch failure despite the bugs. I imagine that left room for him to think we blamed him or that he didn’t belong. It is also possible that others did blame him directly and that I was too caught up in the crisis to realize it. Both instances were my responsibility as the leader of the team. His resignation taught me a valuable lesson about leading through a crisis: No matter how bad the situation is, your team must be your first priority. If you make them feel safe, they will move heaven and earth to fix the problem. If you don’t, they may still fix the problem, but the team itself will never be the same. As a leader, here is how you can give them what they need: 1) Take the blame and do not allow others to be blamed. In some bug cases after this we did not release the name of the engineer outside the team in order to protect them from judgment or blame. 2) Separate fixing the problem from figuring out why it happened. Once the problem is fixed, you can focus on root-causing. This lowers the risk of searching for answers getting confused with searching for someone to blame. 3) Realize that anyone involved in the problem already feels bad. High performers know when they have fallen short and let their team down. As a leader you have to show them the path to growth and success after the crisis. They do not need to be beaten up on- they have taken care of that themselves. 4) See crises and problems as growth opportunities, not personal flaws. Your team comes with you in a crisis whether you like it or not, so you might as well come out stronger on the other side. As a leader, the responsibility for a crisis is yours in two ways: The problem itself and the effect it has on the future of the team. Don’t get too caught up in the first to think about the second. Readers- Has your team survived a crisis? How did you handle it?

🗣️“You must be more assertive.” Last year, those five words burned into Amy’s memory. She’d walked out of her 2023 review at XYZ Global determined to “step up.” Speak more in meetings. Push harder on decisions. Stop softening her tone so she wouldn’t intimidate anyone. She did exactly that. Fast forward 12 months. Same conference room. Same 2 VPs across the table. 🔇“You’ve become too intense, need to work on softening your approach.” 😑 Amy stared at them, speechless. Wasn’t that what you asked for last year? Which version of me do you actually want? She thought about the past year: 🤔 The time she challenged a flawed budget forecast in front of the CFO, saving the company $3 million, but earning whispers that she was “abrasive.” 🤔 The time she stepped in to rescue a failing project, praised for her “grit” publicly, yet privately told she “dominated the room.” 🤔 The time she finally got invited to an executive offsite, only to overhear a VP say, “She’s great, but can be… a lot.” This is the tightrope trap senior women walk daily: • Be assertive, but not too assertive. • Be collaborative, but don’t fade into the background. • Be visible, but not “hungry.”    The same behavior praised in men (decisive, strong leader) gets women penalized as abrasive or too much. Until you set the narrative yourself, you’re trapped performing for a moving target. If you’re exhausted from balancing on a wire men don’t even see, here’s how to step off it and still rise. 1. Audit the pattern, not just the feedback • Track every piece of feedback, especially contradiction. Patterns reveal bias. If the goal keeps moving, it's not you! • Phrase to use in review: “Last year I was encouraged to increase my presence; this year I’m told to soften it. Can we clarify what success really looks like?”    2. Control the frame before the room does • Pre‑set the narrative in 1:1s and emails leading up to reviews. I.e., “This year I focused on driving results while bringing the team with me, you’ll see that reflected in project X and Y.” • This primes leadership to view your assertiveness as an intentional strategy, not a personality flaw.    3. Build echo chambers, not just results • Secure 2–3 allies who reinforce your strengths in rooms you’re not in. • Promotions happen in the absence, you need people echoing your narrative, not someone else’s. • Phrase to brief an ally: “If my leadership style comes up in review, can you speak to how I challenge decisions but still align the team?”    Women aren’t just asked to deliver results. They’re asked to perform, decode, and reframe, all while walking a wire men don’t even see. If you’re exhausted from balancing between “too soft” and “too aggressive,” stop walking the wire and start controlling the narrative. Join the waitlist of our next cohort of ⭐ From Hidden Talent to Visible Leaders ⭐ https://lnkd.in/gx7CpGGR 👊 Because leadership shouldn’t feel like an impossible balancing act.

You’re more influenced by the people around you than you think… far more. Social contagion, the process by which emotions, behaviors, and ideas spread through groups, isn’t something that happens only in tight-knit friendships. It happens in workplaces, classrooms, and even through the digital spaces we scroll through daily. Research shows that emotions like happiness and sadness ripple through social networks much like viruses (Rosenquist, Fowler, & Christakis, 2011). In professional settings, behaviors like rudeness or generosity can cascade across entire teams (Foulk et al., 2016). Among students, things like motivation and engagement are surprisingly contagious (Burgess, 2018). And the digital world isn’t exempt. A now-famous Facebook experiment found that users’ emotions could be influenced simply by adjusting the tone of the content they were exposed to (Kramer, Guillory, & Hancock, 2014), without their awareness (ethically questionable). The takeaway is that what surrounds you, both physically and digitally, shapes how you feel, think, and act. Even when you believe you’re making entirely independent decisions, the influence is already at work. So be really conscious of who you’re time with, and how they’re either ‘good’ for you, or not. And if they’re not, try to limit exposure for the sake of your energy, your beliefs, and your motivation. P.S. Would you say you’re aware of who’s really influencing you? Research: Rosenquist, J. N., Fowler, J. H., & Christakis, N. A. (2011). Social network determinants of depression. Molecular Psychiatry, 16, 273–281. Foulk, T. A., Woolum, A. H., & Erez, A. (2016). Catching rudeness is like catching a cold: The contagion effects of low-intensity negative behaviors. Journal of Applied Psych, 101(1), 50–67. Burgess, L. G., Riddell, P. M., Fancourt, A., & Murayama, K. (2018). The influence of social contagion within education: A motivational perspective. Mind, Brain, and Education, 12(4), 164-174. Kramer, A. D. I., Guillory, J. E., & Hancock, J. T. (2014). Experimental evidence of massive-scale emotional contagion through social networks. PNAS, 111(24), 8788–8790.

Conflict is inevitable. Emotional intelligence is the antidote. This “conversation guide” is a blueprint for emotional intelligence in action. ✅ Every step here reflects self-awareness, empathy, impulse control, and respect for others’ perspectives — the core pillars of EQ. ✅ Difficult conversations often go wrong not because of what we say, but how and when we say it. ✅ Mastering these skills turns conflict into collaboration. ✅ You create safety, preserve dignity, and move toward solutions — not stand-offs. Bottom line: 🧠 The emotionally intelligent leader doesn’t avoid hard conversations because they know how to have them well. That’s where trust is built, relationships deepen, and real progress happens. Give it another read, and tell me what you think... HOW TO MASTER DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS 1️⃣ Timing Matters ❌ Don’t ambush someone when they’re stressed or busy. ✅ “Can we find a time that works for both of us?” 2️⃣ Starting With Empathy, Not Ego ❌ Don’t jump in with blame or judgment. ✅ Begin by acknowledging their perspective and emotions. 3️⃣ Staying Steady, Not Reactive ❌ Don’t snap back or shut down. ✅ “Okay, I hear you. Can you help me understand what happened?” 4️⃣ Tackling It Early ❌ Don’t let negative feelings fester. ✅ Bring up issues when they’re still small. 5️⃣ Creating The Right Setting ❌ Don’t have tough talks in public or around peers. ✅ “Mind if we step aside and talk in private for a minute?” 6️⃣ Focusing On The Issue ❌ Don’t bring up past grudges or performance issues. ✅ Stay on topic and address one concern at a time. 7️⃣ Finding Common Ground ❌ Don’t frame the conversation as “winning” vs. “losing.” ✅ “We both want [X] by [date and time], right?” 8️⃣ Accepting Responsibility ❌ Don’t deflect or minimize your role in the situation. ✅ “I could’ve handled that better — my bad.” 9️⃣ Avoiding Absolutes ❌ Don’t use words like “always,” “never,” or “impossible.” ✅ Recognize nuance and exceptions to patterns. 🔟 Offering Solutions ❌ Don’t just present problems without plans for moving forward. ✅ “Here’s what I think could help... what do you think?” --- ♻️ Repost if this resonates. ➕ Follow Travis Bradberry for more and sign up for my weekly LinkedIn newsletter. Do you want more like this? 👇 📖 My new book, "The New Emotional Intelligence" is now 10% off on Amazon and it's already a bestseller.