Sex board games have existed for many years (see: this blog post from 2007), but until recently, they were often the stuff of back-alley sex shops or to be purchased as gag gifts for your friends. As people become more openly interested in exploring their sexuality in fun and different ways, sex board games have made it out of the basement and into the bedroom (or y’know, the living room or the kitchen, there are no rules here).
Popular brands like We’re Not Really Strangers have released their own versions, online retailers like Lovehoney have plenty of sex board games to offer, and Amazon is chock-full of them, too. Most importantly, sex educators and therapists swear by these games’ potential to spice up a relationship and foster deeper intimacy — so, is it time for you to invest in one or two of them? We’re certainly all for it.
What Counts As A Sex Board Game?
Honestly, sex board games are exactly what they sound like.
The category includes card games, dice games and even sexy variations of classics you might know and love. They range in spice level from intimacy-building games designed to get to know your partner better to games that prompt you to perform various kink-based acts — and there’s plenty in the middle of that range, too.
“Some question games include conversation starters that explore values and life experiences. Other games for couples act as a lower-stakes way to specifically discuss sexual preferences, turn-ons and fantasies,” according to Birna Gustafsson, a sex educator, public health advocate and founder of Explicit Studies. “Options can range from a simple card deck with questions, a Truth or Dare-style board game with a spinner or some vintage sex dice. Some games may act as a warm-up to sex, but they don’t have to end in any action to be helpful or satisfying.”
Gustafsson is a big fan of the classic sex dice, too, which are definitely the most straightforward of the sex “board” games. “The dice don’t need to include actual sex acts to be exciting, either. Landing on ‘massage thighs’ or ‘lick neck’ gives people permission to touch in new ways or slow things down and break up a sex rut,” she said.
How Exactly Do These Games Help Couples?
Sex (or intimacy) board games, just like regular board games, are an amazing activity for cutting through your daily routine as a couple.
“Board games allow you to focus on building intimacy and having fun with your partner, rather than being distracted by chores, TV or mindless scrolling,” Milla Impola, a sex expert and director of marketing and communications at One Condoms, tells HuffPost. “When you add a sexy twist to a board game, you can build sexual chemistry and also learn what turns you on — and what makes your partner tingle as well. I love that games allow you to talk, problem solve, imagine, laugh and play together.”
Meanwhile, Mindy DeSeta, Ph.D., a certified sexologist and sexuality educator at Hily dating app, particularly loves the games that offer prompts for vulnerable conversations about sex, especially because so many of us typically avoid these conversations due to stigma or shame.
“These conversation prompts give couples the opportunity to strengthen their bond through open dialogue, even if they don’t see eye to eye,” DeSeta said. “Having intimate conversations builds emotional trust between partners, authentically drawing them closer both emotionally and sexually. As you learn more about your date/partner’s desires and preferences, you’re setting the foundation for more pleasurable, connected and fulfilling intimate experiences.”
Sex games carry a whole bunch of potential benefits for couples beyond the most obvious.
“Having intimate conversations builds emotional trust between partners, authentically drawing them closer both emotionally and sexually.”
“Even games that don’t explicitly discuss sex but rather focus on emotional connection can translate to the bedroom,” Gustafsson said. “Exploring new things with a partner, regardless of how sex-oriented they are, can reignite a spark and bring couples together.”
The expert also loves sex board games as a “bridge” for couples who have differences in their libidos or comfort levels around their sexuality. She also explains that these games can create a great container for conversations that would otherwise feel too risky to broach.
But these games aren’t just for those who are new to having sex-focused conversations or exploring fantasies.
“Sometimes it isn’t about having the courage to ask a question, but rather, a question pops up in a deck that you haven’t thought about asking before,” Gustafsson said. “Or, a scenario is presented in a ‘Never Have I Ever’ game that you hadn’t considered hot before, but seeing your partner so excited makes you curious, too.”
Playing With Friends Is Also An Option.
Some games, like We’re Not Really Strangers Sex Edition, aren’t designed for couples (or polycules) but for platonic groups of friends. These are amazing for playing on bachelor and bachelorette parties, but they definitely don’t have to be limited to those scenarios — and these games come with intimacy-building benefits, too.
“Playing conversational games with your friend group is absolutely beneficial!” DeSeta said. “It’s an opportunity to break down stigma, learn more about pleasure, and gain new sexy ideas from your friends.” Basically, hearing your friends talking about their sexual experiences can spark your curiosity for your own sex life.
Even better, these games can provide an opportunity to deepen your friendships. “When friends feel comfortable discussing sexy topics, it deepens their level of trust in one another and creates a valuable support network,” DeSeta said. “This bond allows the friend group to seek support from one another or advice when needed.”
Gustafsson adds that playing sex board (or card) games with friends can be a great source of validation and can feel less intimidating than playing them as a couple. “Playing flirty games in a group setting can feel way less high-stakes than one-on-one,” she said. “There’s no pressure for it to lead anywhere, and the group setting creates a buffer.”
Start With A Low-Stakes Ice-Breaker For Conversations You Want To Have.
For couples who aren’t accustomed to talking openly about their desires or to trying adventurous sexual activities, sex board games are likely to feel pretty darn awkward at first. In that case, choosing a game together can help ensure that both people are comfortable with the premise. It’s also really helpful to start with a game with levels ranging from low-stakes icebreakers to X-rated prompts, such as Biird’s Together, which means you can slowly work up to the riskier plays.
“Set the date when you’re going to play the game for the first time and then set some mood music or candles,” Impola said. “Put the phones away in a different room. When it comes time to play the game, remind each other it’s about having fun and exploring something new. Laugh a lot, play a lot, and talk a lot.”
Before diving in, it’s worth agreeing on some ground rules to follow, “like agreeing to not answer anything or do any task that makes you feel weird or unsafe,” Gustafsson said. If you’re feeling nervous or shy, try sharing that with your partner and asking for their support.
“Nervous giggling doesn’t mean the game isn’t working,” Gustafsson adds. “The goal isn’t to be sexy on command, but rather to connect and have fun together.”
Eventually, the silliness can open the door to a new level of connection and vulnerability — which means both partners should handle each other with care. “If playing any game that involves sharing fantasies or desires, stay curious and open-minded,” Gustafsson said. “Remember that it takes a lot of courage to be so vulnerable, so even if something isn’t a turn-on for you, don’t put anyone down for enjoying what they like.”
Lastly, not all games are created with queer or disabled people in mind, so don’t hesitate to modify the game’s prompts to suit your particular needs.
These Are The Games Sexperts Want You To Try:
The type of sex board game you pick will definitely depend on the kind of experience you’re looking for, but the experts have a handful of recommendations to get you started.
“The Wonderlust card deck by Natassia Miller is my go-to,” Gustafsson said. “You read the questions aloud in the first person, which makes it feel more natural and personal. The game has levels, so it is great for any type of partnership, as it gradually moves from emotional intimacy to spicier questions.”
DeSeta recommends one game that focuses on intimacy, The Couples Game, and one card game that is very spicy, Lust!
“I have had many couples rave about The Couples Game,” DeSeta said. “They find it approachable and easy to start playing any time of the day … even when they are exhausted after putting the kids to bed. This game opens conversational doors and strengthens the emotional bond between couples.” She describes Lust! as being for experts.
“These cards illustrate a foreplay activity or a sexual position,” DeSeta adds. “The object of the game is to build sexual anticipation or create a sexual fantasy to play out mid or post-game.”
Below are some more sex board games we recommend, from the thoroughly tame to the extra spicy: