Natalie Monroe's Reviews > The Ship of the Dead

*I sit at a table lit by a single lamp, surrounded by two mental manifestations*

Cynical Natalie: Well, well, well. How the turn tables

Me: Um, yes. I realize it's been a while—

Cynical Natalie: A year

Nice Natalie: We don't know for certain it's been a year! We don't really keep track of these things

Cynical Natalie: Shut up, ass-kisser. You ignore us for an entire year, penning lackluster rushed reviews, all because you've been getting deeper into the dating game. And now you have the audacity to sit us at this table—with no food either—and ask us to do your dirty work



Me: ...

Nice Natalie: ...

Cynical Natalie: ...

Nice Natalie: ...Does that mean I get to go first?

Cynical Natalie: Fuck you. Magnus Chase is officially proof that we've outgrown Rick Riordan. We didn't laugh out loud once during reading. Not once. Plus, age factor aside, it's the same old quest narrative. Oh, the world's about to end. Oh, we have have to go on this quest. Oh, we have to battle/outwit/meet an encyclopedic of mythical monsters.

Tell me, over a decade after the original Percy Jackson series came out, why do none of Riordan's characters brush up on their respective mythology on their downtime? It could save their fucking lives. Don't tell me they're lazy teenagers.

Nice Natalie: I think you're being too harsh. (Cynical Natalie: Big surprise) You're only complaining because we've outgrown Riordan. If you liked the book, none of those flaws you mentioned would matter

Cynical Natalie: Nope. I'd still rip it to shreds

Nice Natalie: Besides, the Magnus Chase series is a testament to Riordan's self-education and wokeness. He strives to make his books more diverse now. He even started a publishing imprint specifically for books about lesser known mythologies, written by authors from different minorities.

Alex Fierro is a gender-fluid character in a middle-grade book. It offers an accessible way for children and teens to learn about the gender spectrum and normalize it in their eyes

Cynical Natalie: Eh, I suppose. Alex is a very simplified representation though. They don't suffer from gender dysphoria or anything

Nice Natalie: Why do they have to? Gender-fluid people don't have to be all angsty about their person or gender

Cynical Natalie: I'll concede to that, but you can't deny Percy Jackson's cameo is blatant fanservice. Just leave the boy alone already. He's likely got hives by now

Nice Natalie: Oh, but we love Percy!

Cynical Natalie: Not anymore. All these fucking new books and content about him. You can't miss something if it's never gone. If anything, it's making me indifferent towards the franchise

Nice Natalie: *GASP* You take that back!

Cynical Natalie: I. Am. Indifferent. Towards. Percy. Jackson.

Nice Natalie:



Cynical Natalie: Since we broke my twin, I'll issue the final rating. 3 stars, and that's us being generous. *to Nice Natalie* Oh, quit blubbering. Here, look at this picture of Logan Lerman



Happy 2019, ya filthy animals on Goodreads.

My review of The Sword of Summer
My review of The Hammer of Thor

Other Nice Natalie/Cynical Natalie brawls reviews:

The Fault in Our Stars
A Girl Like You
If I Stay
Dreams of Gods & Monsters
The Martian
Me and Earl and the Dying Girl
Catching Fire
All The Rage
An Ember In The Ashes

Caraval
Warcross
Harry Potter and the Cursed Child
The Last Namsara