Tyler Gray's Reviews > Not Otherwise Specified

Re-read in June of 2019

I was scared to re-read this. What if it didn't hold up? I had just gotten into reading after years of basically not reading when I read it the first time and it was the first time I ever saw a bisexual character. I was nearly 27...and I've known i'm bi since I was 13. So of course it ment so much to me. 3 1/2 years later, I finally did it. I re-read it.

And I should not have been scared. This book is awesome! It still made me cry. I added MORE tabs (which is quite a feat!). I know I found stuff in it I didn't see the first time and was reminded of things i'm sure I did see the first time, but needed to be reminded of.

Etta. A black bisexual girl recovering from an eating disorder, in love with ballet, not fitting into boxes other people want her to, flawed, human. Etta "kick it in the ass" Sinclair. I fucking love Etta. And Bianca! Can not forget Bianca, who also holds a place in my heart. I stand by what I originally said, which is below.

Also, I think because of how much this book ment to me (and still does, and always will) i've been scared to read Hannah Moskowitz's other books, though i've since bought 3 of them. But they sit, unread. I NEED TO FIX THAT. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!

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Where has this book been all my life?! This book would have the best thing ever when I was a young teen...and it still is.

I am bisexual like the main character Etta. I had a really hard time coming to terms with that because of my religious family (I know many wonderful religious people to, my family just has a bunch of nuts..to put it nicely).

So in ways I related to Etta, and to her friend Bianca as well.

This speaks so much about how bisexuals can struggle to find acceptance in either community, with straight people we often aren't "straight" enough. With gay people we aren't "gay enough", even within the LGBT community, like the B isn't there. I know there are many wonderful people in both communities, but there is so much hate as well.

Etta is also a recovering anorexic black girl in love with ballet but feels she doesn't fit, all of which play heavily into the story. I cried so much through this book and have a ridiculous amount of post-it tabs throughout! She struggles through so much.

She is flawed, she has strengths, she is layered, she is human. And she is awesome!

I was worried (for no good reason) about how it mentions Christianity in the blurb, I was worried it would be preachy. It's not. Religious or not you can enjoy this book!

In fact it's what helped me relate to Bianca too. She has a gay brother and her parents...aren't happy to say the least. She struggles with this. Her faith, her parents, everything she's been told, but she loves her brother. Never stops. She tries her hardest to figure it all out, and she's only 14 also anorexic. I loved her so much as well.

I could personally relate to a lot in this book. Even where I couldn't personally it was written so well, it tugged at my heart and my tears. Throughout the entire book from page 1, literally, to the end. I was rooting for the characters so strongly.

I highly recommend this book! I'd give it 500 stars if I could!