'I struggled with an eating problem': Duck Dynasty's Sadie Robertson opens ups about her self-confessed 'dark' past

By DEMETER STAMELL FOR DAILYMAIL.COM

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Sadie Robertson is opening up about her battle with a secret eating disorder.

In an emotional blog post on Friday, the 20-year-old Duck Dynasty star spoke openly about her body demons.

'I struggled with an eating problem connected to a negative body image for about a year,' she wrote. 

Getting real: Sadie Robertson is opening up about her battle with a secret eating disorder. In an emotional blog post, the 20-year-old Duck Dynasty star spoke openly about her demons

Getting real: Sadie Robertson is opening up about her battle with a secret eating disorder. In an emotional blog post, the 20-year-old Duck Dynasty star spoke openly about her demons

'It was dark. It was ugly. It was insanely difficult. It was done in secret. It was hidden. I did not even tell my own mother until recently. I thought I had everything under control.'

Sadie says she developed the illness following her 2014 stint on Dancing With The Stars. 

'At least five times a day, I would wrap my hands around my thighs, making sure they hadn’t grown beyond what I could reach,' she confessed. 

'I knew each little calorie that was in every bite of food I took. I talked about food all of the time. I hid behind the talk, and I actually hid behind encouraging others.'

Counting calories: 'I knew each little calorie that was in every bite of food I took. I talked about food all of the time. I hid behind the talk, and I actually hid behind encouraging others'

Counting calories: 'I knew each little calorie that was in every bite of food I took. I talked about food all of the time. I hid behind the talk, and I actually hid behind encouraging others'

Body battles: Sadie says she developed the illness following her 2014 stint on Dancing With The Stars

Body battles: Sadie says she developed the illness following her 2014 stint on Dancing With The Stars

The stunning star says she only decided to go public with her battle following an 'all-natural photoshoot'. 

'I was a little shook by the change of plans the director decided to make by taking one look at me and stating his infamous comment: "Oh, no. This girl does not have the face for a no-makeup shoot." Ouch,' she wrote. 

'Then, they sent me off for two hours to get my hair and makeup done. Yes, two hours to get that "all natural" look so it could appear that I just happened to wake up like this… FLAWLESS. #nofilter #nomakeup #notruth'.

Living a lie... 'It was dark. It was ugly. It was insanely difficult. It was done in secret. It was hidden. I did not even tell my own mother until recently,' she confessed

Living a lie... 'It was dark. It was ugly. It was insanely difficult. It was done in secret. It was hidden. I did not even tell my own mother until recently,' she confessed

Uncomfortable with perpetuating the myth of perfection, Sadie decided she needed to be honest with her fans.

'I’ve been damaged by "that girl". It was images like that with false advertisement that sent me down a spiral of trying to obtain an image I did not realize I was never going to be able to reach, because it was not real,' she explained. 

'I could have never imagined how much it would cost me to attempt to reach the standard of today’s beauty.'

'I¿ve been damaged by "that girl". It was images like that with false advertisement that sent me down a spiral of trying to obtain an image I did not realize I was never going to be able to reach'

'I’ve been damaged by "that girl". It was images like that with false advertisement that sent me down a spiral of trying to obtain an image I did not realize I was never going to be able to reach'

Taking to Instagram, Sadie shared a throwback photo of herself modeling in a runway show dressed in a red crop top and matching red skirt.

'The photo in the red dress was when it was really bad and when I first saw that picture all I could see was the "fat" that went outside the dress,' she captioned it. 

'Someone in the modeling industry had told me, if I wanted to be a model, then I needed to lose that. Looking back I'm so sad that those thoughts stole the beauty and joy of that photo.' 

Warped: 'The photo in the red dress was when it was really bad and when I first saw that picture all I could see was the "fat" that went outside the dress,' she wrote on Instagram

Warped: 'The photo in the red dress was when it was really bad and when I first saw that picture all I could see was the "fat" that went outside the dress,' she wrote on Instagram

She also shared a second all-natural photo of herself.

'The second picture is me - the girl behind the screen. This is real life,' she wrote.  

While Sadie says she still struggles with her body image on occasion, she claims she has recovered, and is now '15 pounds heavier'.

'I am happier, and have more joy than ever before... If it means being "less beautiful" in the world’s eyes, that’s okay with me,' she added. 

Fresh-faced: She also shared a second all-natural photo of herself. 'The second picture is me - the girl behind the screen. This is real life,' she wrote

Fresh-faced: She also shared a second all-natural photo of herself. 'The second picture is me - the girl behind the screen. This is real life,' she wrote

Sadie Robertson

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