Emmerdale

'The 'andcuffs are a bit of a temptation,' said Cain, before pinning Angie to a tree. At last, the liaison that has been simmering for weeks has come to fruition. Angie's only worry is that she will lose her job; my only worry is that she will ditch Cain and go back to sobbing Sean.

There's a lot of rampant sex all round in the village at the moment, but when Rodney returns on Monday, he is none too pleased to discover how Andrew has treated Nicola. He even interrupts a meeting at Home Farm to make his feelings clear.

Now, have you noticed something strange about those meetings at Home Farm? Like, for example, that they are always ending with nothing having been discussed?

On Wednesday, Andrew promises that his personal life will not interfere with the running of the Stud Farm, although the fact that he has spent more time out of his trousers than in them doesn't bode well. At this rate, the village will soon have its own Whore of the Year show.

Charity planting a smacker on Zoe this week was a great cat to throw among the pigeons at Home Farm, and on Tuesday, Charity delights in making her rival feel as uncomfortable as possible.

But sex aside (even Emmerdale needs a breather occasionally), there are more important events to worry about on Friday, on the eve of Jack's trial.

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