Platoon 24/7: Preparing For War (Ch5)
You have to worry about the state of Britain’s armed forces. Not the calibre of the troops, who are as brave and committed as the most demanding general could expect.
And not the quality of their training, which is outstanding, and arguably the very best in the world. The UK’s military men and women perform at the highest possible standard.
But the opening episode of Platoon 24/7: Preparing For War left me more than a little concerned about their equipment, and the Army’s resources. As we followed 30 young men at the start of six months’ preparation for a possible frontline deployment, the unit appeared to be dependent on a pocket-money budget.
The lads of 13 Platoon, D Company, 5th Battalion The Rifles were in the Brecon Beacons, proving their mettle in the regiment’s annual competition to be crowned Top Dog. As well as a gruelling five-mile run with heavy packs and helmets, and a bayonet charge, the soldiers were tested on their ability to recognise artillery and armoured vehicles — both friend and foe — at a distance through binoculars.
First, they were shown photos, and then sent out into the field. But instead of being confronted by the real thing, or even lifesize cardboard cutouts, the troops were shown plastic models and invited to identify them.
And these were not even carefully painted kits at 1:35 scale, the kind my generation of boys loved to build. All the Army could afford, apparently, were injection-moulded green plastic toys, the sort you might use in tabletop wargames. They might have come out of a cracker.
If the Russians ever attack us with tiny plastic tanks, we won’t need an Army. We can just send Action Man.
PlatOon 24/7: Preparing for War is a new docuseries described as 'hard hitting' which aired on Channel 5
It follows the soldiers on a gruelling five-mile run with heavy packs and helmets
'Platoon 24/7 is straightforward. All of the riflemen are male, for a start.'
But these young men will be expected to risk their lives in the defence of our country. They deserve better than toys to practise on.
It was also surprising to see them ferried from Bulford Barracks on Salisbury Plain to Wales in a coach, rather than the usual Army trucks. Has the MoD outsourced the transport corps to National Express?
Recent TV documentaries about life in the military, such as BBC2’s Soldier or The Warship, have had a whiff of the reality show about them. The emphasis has tended to be on female recruits and unusual personalities, such as the padre.
Platoon 24/7 is more straightforward. All of the riflemen are male, for a start. The only tears came as the youngest squaddie, a week short of his 18th birthday, set off for duty — he was fine but his mum was in floods.
A few of the men sat down in front of the camera to reflect on Army life. Mostly, though, this was simply a no-nonsense look at a highly professional unit getting ready for active service.
We can only hope they won’t be going to war by coach with plastic guns.
