The definitive truth about Erika Kirk's tears, the leather pants and her new fortune... as Candace Owens drops 'giggling' phone call in wake of Charlie's death

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It's awards season, that time of year when actors are judged for the authenticity of their performances.

But perhaps no drama has been more heavily scrutinized in recent months than that of a celebrity who is not in show business: Erika Kirk, the wife of slain conservative activist Charlie Kirk.

The 37-year-old widow was catapulted to global fame when she vowed to carry on her husband's political legacy after his assassination at Utah Valley University last September. 

Within days, she assumed leadership of his organization, Turning Point USA, a nonprofit that advocates for conservative politics at high schools and on college campuses.

And the mother-of-two has certainly been kept busy since, sitting for primetime interviews and making countless public appearances in her trademark bold makeup and sequined pantsuits – often welcomed to the stage in an explosion of indoor pyrotechnics. 

Most recently, she announced a 30-city speaking engagement series that she's calling the 'Make Heaven Crowded Tour 2026.'

But despite the fact Kirk hasn't ever been shy about her grief – often needing to dab away tears as she speaks about her late husband – her authenticity has, increasingly, come up for criticism.

In particular, certain subsets of social media – on both the political right and left – have alleged that Kirk's behavior seems rehearsed, performative or even fake. 

Erika Kirk has faced intense scrutiny since the assassination of her husband Charlie Kirk last year

The 37-year-old's public displays of grief have been dissected by online critics, with some deeming them 'performative'

Some go so far as to accuse her of 'using' her husband's assassination for personal gain.

Nothing, her critics might say, supports that claim quite so much as an audio recording leaked this week by controversial right-wing podcaster Candace Owens.

The recording is of a conference call which took place around two weeks after Charlie Kirk's murder. The call is chaired by newly appointed Turning Point USA boss Erika, who can be heard congratulating staff for their hard work on her late husband's memorial service, which she describes, while at times giggling, as 'an event of the century.'

'I think we're at like 200,000 for merch sales. Don't quote me on that, because I think it just keeps bumping up like crazy,' she says, noting the event – which was held at a stadium in Arizona – brought in 300,000 new donors and 50,000 'new hat orders'.

'It's weird to say I'm excited. I really hesitate saying that. It's really hard for me to say that. It's a really weird thing to say,' she continues.

'But I think it comes from a space of peace knowing that God is using this and we're humbly witnessing the gospel in real time.'

Owens – who has expended much of her energy in recent months spreading obscene conspiracy theories about the assassination of her former friend – suggested Kirk seems emotionally unfazed by her husband's death in the call, saying: 'In my imagination, I just thought that she would be more upset. All of that, all of this makes my skin crawl. It genuinely makes my skin crawl.'

The Daily Mail has spoken with several experts on grief and so-called 'grief policing' about the recent obsession many Americans have developed with Kirk's behavior as a new widow.

And, as her critics will likely be disappointed to learn, those experts say judgments about Kirk reveal less about her 'true' state of mind and much more about a broader, national discomfort with death – especially the kind of violent, widely broadcast killing that took her husband down.

Erika became a widowed mother-of-two after her husband Charlie Kirk, 31, was assassinated during a speaking event at Utah Valley University on September 10 last year

The two had been married for four years at the time of Kirk's shocking murder 

'It reflects our mourning-avoidant, emotion-phobic culture where people tend to make all sorts of quick, uninformed judgments about how people are "supposed" to grieve,' Dr Alan Wolfelt, a Colorado-based death educator and grief counselor, told the Daily Mail. 

Criticism of Kirk began almost immediately after her husband's assassination on September 10 last year, with some eyebrows being raised over the swiftness with which she had been able to launch into political activism so soon after his death. 

Others were put off by an apparent anger in her remarks on September 13, when she said: 'You have no idea the fire that you have ignited within this wife. The cries of this widow will echo around the world like a battle cry.'

Others questioned the wisdom of her not leveling with her children about their father's death. She instead initially told them: 'Don't you worry. He's on a work trip with Jesus.'

But grief experts say hers was a common mistake families make with young children.

'People get really scared about how to talk to their kids about death,' said Claire Bidwell Smith, a Los Angeles-based grief therapist and author. 

'Often they do it wrong, not talking about it in plain terms, but using a lot of euphemisms that are really confusing.' 

The social media firestorm only really kicked off when, still in the early days after the shooting, Kirk posted Instagram images of herself draped over her husband's open casket and holding his embalmed hand. Some commenters thought the pictures gratutious.

She was criticized heavily for sharing images of her late husband, including photos showing her holding his hand in an open casket

Even Erika's fashion - which regularly includes sequined pantsuits - has been picked apart by critics who say it clashes with expectations of widowhood

Things stepped up further still on September 18, eight days after the assassination, when Turning Point USA officially announced Kirk's appointment as CEO of the group her husband had founded in 2012.

Some speculated that it was too soon to make such an appointment and too early for Kirk, now a single mother of a one and three-year-old, to accept it. 

Others said the former Miss Arizona USA wasn't qualified for the job.

At the September 21 memorial service, held at State Farm Stadium in Glendale, Kirk used her eulogy to directly address Tyler Robinson, the 22-year-old Southern Utah student accused of killing her husband.

'That young man, I forgive him… because it was what Christ did and… what Charlie would do... The answer to hate is not hate… love for our enemies,' she said, dressed in all white, her hands decorated with large gold rings.

Her supporters praised those comments as an act of incredible grace in the face of senseless violence. 

But scores of online critics cruelly mocked her facial expressions, and the tone and delivery of her remarks, describing them as overly theatrical.

Others accused her of moral grandstanding and being ingenuine.

Ever since, similar judgements have continued to swirl about Kirk's many subsequent high-profile media engagements – which have included multiple major interviews and town halls to discuss her grief, her views on American politics and even her endorsement for a Republican presidential candidate in 2028 (Vice President JD Vance).

Some online critics have suggested that, during these many TV appearances, Kirk's eyes seem dry even as she dabbing them with tissues.

'She's lying. I'll prove it,' says YouTuber Nadia Asencio, whose account bio welcomes viewers to 'a non-partisan channel dedicated to cutting through noise, narratives, and emotional manipulation.'

'I can tell you that any trained actor can see right through Erika Kirk,' Asencio says. 

During her speech at her husband's memorial held in September, she drew both praise and mockery after publicly forgiving the man accused of killing Charlie

At one point during the memorial, while flanked by President Trump, Erika threw up what some called a 'devil horn' hand gesture on stage, for which she was also criticized 

Some have also taken aim at Kirk's wardrobe – describing sequins and leather pants as inappropriate for a grieving widow – while others have scrutinized her apparent predilection for those on-stage fireworks.

And then there was that prolonged hug she gave JD Vance at a Turning Point event late last year. 

The embrace sparked viral videos and unsubstantiated internet gossip about a possible romantic connection.

Critics opined that Kirk's behavior was in poor taste for a woman so recently widowed. But Vance is, of course, a married man – now expecting a fourth child.

There has also been focus on Kirk's personal profit in the wake of her husband's killing.

Part of her rising wealth comes not only from his life insurance policy and other inherited business ventures, but also from private donations to her and her children, which reportedly have totaled around $10 million.

She is also now cashing in on her husband's royalties, including from his 'last' book which she has been on tour promoting.

Some have highlighted an apparent contradiction here between Kirk's life as the new CEO of a large organization and her public, conservative urging of young women not to prioritize their careers and instead start a family as soon as possible.

The experts the Daily Mail spoke to were quick to note that Kirk has been an easy target for people who don't share her or her late husband's staunch political or religious views. 

There is, they say, also an aspect of sexism at play.

In October, a prolonged hug between Erika and Vice President JD Vance at a Turning Point event fueled baseless online speculation

Since Charlie's death, Erika Kirk has given multiple national interviews discussing grief, faith, and politics

She has been promoting her husband's 'last' book (seen here on the Sean Hannity Show in December)

Criticisms of Kirk as angry or confrontational – even when responding to preposterous conspiracies about her husband's killing – are particularly 'gendered'.

Nobody would criticize a man for lashing back under such circumstances, the experts say.

'Widows are uniquely grief-policed – their appearance, their tone and behavior,' said LA grief therapist Bidwell Smith. 'There's this cultural belief that a good widow should look really collapsed and devastated. But grief is not a performance and survival is not a moral failure.'

When grieving people 'hyper-function', as Kirk has appeared to do, 'people throw a lot of negative judgment on that, thinking they feel nothing when, internally, privately, they may be collapsing and not really show it,' Bidwell Smith added.

Dr Wolfelt similarly suspects that Kirk's vigor – her insistence on getting up, getting dressed, putting on makeup and fighting for something she believes in every day – is a classic emotional survival tactic.

Kirk's awkward public appearances, the potentially over-dramatic performances,  don't necessarily reflect what she is experiencing inwardly, Wolfelt says.

'There was a lot of pressure on her very fast to appear in public when she likely was experiencing psychic numbing and shock,' he added. 

'It's very likely that what she knew in her head – that her husband was assassinated – hadn't caught up with her heart. It's also likely that it could take her months, if not longer, for the tragedy to really sink in for her.'

Erika made headlines after interviewing surprise - and controversial guest - rapper Nicki Minaj at AmericaFest last month 

Experts also highlighted criticisms of her angry, confrontational responses to conspiracy theories about her husband's killing as an example of sexism

Experts also say Erika's high-functioning, hyper-public approach to mourning is a survival tactic

When the shock of the assassination subsides, Kirk may have much to teach the public about grieving.

The more people to discuss the often taboo issue, demystifying it, the better, experts say.

Fully aware that scores of Americans have been picking apart her grief online, Kirk addressed the unpredictability of mourning on Instagram.

'There is no linear blueprint for grief,' she wrote in October. 

'One day you're collapsed on the floor crying out the name Jesus in between labored breaths. The next you're playing with your children in the living room, surrounded by family photos, and feeling a rush of something you can only attempt to define as divinely planted and bittersweet joy as a smile breaks through on your face.'

Neither Erika Kirk nor Turning Point US responded to the Daily Mail's requests for comment.