I called off my engagement and want to keep the ring but my ex-fiancé wants it back - do I have to return it?
I have recently called off an engagement after deciding that things were no longer working with my ex-fiancé.
However, he is now asking for my engagement ring back, claiming that as we are no longer engaged, it is technically his property.
I want to keep the ring as it holds sentimental value.
Do I have to give back the ring or, as he gifted it to me, is it my right to keep hold of it?
Do you have to return an engagement ring after calling off a wedding or can you keep it?
Grace Gausden, This is Money, replies: Breaking up with someone you once intended to spend the rest of your life with is incredibly difficult, nevermind the fact you then have to inform all the people you have already invited to the wedding that it is no longer taking place.
Then comes the difficulty of separating your shared possessions - and one item that can cause contention is the engagement ring.
The average engagement ring now costs a massive £1,080 - but there are still some who choose to follow a much-discredited rule that you should spend the equivalent of three month's salary - meaning they could be spending much more.
It is no surprise that some ex-partners will want to have the ring returned to them, in many cases to claim back the cash they originally spent, but it is also understandable that the ring holder would want to keep hold of it.
In this situation, many people are not sure whether they legally have to return the ring or if the rules allow them to keep hold of it.
However, the law says, under the Law Reform (Miscellaneous Provisions) Act 1970, that 'the gift of an engagement ring shall be presumed to be an absolute gift; this presumption may be rebutted by proving that the ring was given on the condition, express or implied, that it should be returned if the marriage did not take place for any reason.'
Essentially, this means that unless there was an explicit agreement for the ring to be returned should the marriage not go ahead, the person who received it is able to keep it.
But, in reality, a no-wedding, no-ring deal is unlikely to feature in many proposals.
However, it can be a bit more complex than that as there will be situations in which one half of the couple will claim there were conditions on giving the ring, whilst the other half may say that there wasn't.
Dilemma: Separating couples may argue about who gets to keep the engagement ring
Lisa Pepper, family lawyer at Osbornes Law, replies: The question of whether you are legally entitled to keep your engagement ring after a break-up is dependent upon whether it can be proved that you were expected to give it back if the marriage did not end up taking place.
Expecting a bride who gets cold feet to hand back the ring seems fairly reasonable, demanding a jilted bride gives the ring back seems somewhat unjust. The law, however, does not make a distinction between the two.
If the ring has been passed down through generations of the groom's family, provided he can prove that, then the ring would have to be returned. The same rules apply to any gifts exchanged between engaged couples in the run up to the wedding.
Sarah Jane Lenihan, Senior Solicitor at Stowe Family Law, replies: The law on this one is very straightforward. Unless there was an agreement to return the engagement ring if it was called off then the recipient is under no obligation to do so.
However, if there was a condition (express or implied) that the ring would be returned if the engagement was broken off, the recipient would have to give it back.
Coupled with the increase in prenuptial agreements, particularly for high net worth couples where a substantial amount of money is spent on jewellery for an engagement, it is something on the rise.
Problems seem to occur when people are not aware of the law and believe they are 'morally' entitled to the engagement ring after a break-up.
On the other side, I have also negotiated on the engagement ring when people are not happy with the proposed outcome should they separate.
Ultimately, when discussing this with a client, I will always ask them to consider the cost of the ring and any litigation costs to ensure that they do not cost more than the ring itself.
Grace Gausden, This is Money, adds: Different rules apply regarding engagement rings if a couple gets married and then divorces.
Jewellery can often be a contentious issue in divorce proceedings - especially if the ring is of high value.
Unless it can be proven that the ring was expressly due to be returned in the event of a divorce, the ring will be theirs to keep.
It is recommended that any sentimental items or family heirlooms that one spouse wishes to keep in the event of a relationship breakdown is covered by a pre-nuptial agreement.
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