I lent daughter £70k as a home deposit but she has since sold it and disappeared without repaying a penny - what can I do?

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I lent my daughter £70,000 as a deposit on a flat in 2008 via bank transfer which she purchased and lived in for four years.

She never made any repayments to me during this period. She sold the flat, didn't tell me her new address and sent an e-mail in 2014 telling me she didn't want anything to do with me, even though we hadn't seemingly had a falling out. It destroyed me.

She added that I wasn't entitled to any money as we never signed an agreement.

No contact: My daughter sold her flat and e-mailed me to say she didn't want anything to do with me. Picture posted by model

Due to the dramatic change in my circumstances I am now living in a homeless shelter and have been for two years. I'm in my early sixties.

I haven't had any contact with her since the e-mail. I don't have a record of the transfer but it should be easy to obtain. 

I have to go to court to try and obtain some of the money but don't have any funds myself. What can I do? Via e-mail.

Lee Boyce, consumer affairs editor at This is Money, replies: Our mailbox is choc full of family money squabbles, suggesting that cash continues to drive a wedge between countless families and friends.

Your case is one of the most galling I've read. We only have your side of the story, but for your own flesh and blood to seemingly accept £70,000 and then leave you in the lurch in the manner you have described above sounds brutal.

In the first instance, I would suggest sending another e-mail outlining your perilous circumstances and try to build bridges.

You may also consider gently saying you are willing to take her to court, but you'd rather it didn't come to that.

You will also need to put together as much evidence you can. 

You say the payment was a bank transfer, so there should be proof. 

If you don't have them already, ask your bank for 2008 statements.

It outlines the need for signed agreements and the power these simple documents can have.

Many who loan money to relatives may believe they never need this as it shows a lack of trust – but circumstances can always change, no matter how solid a relationship is when money is loaned.

This is a case in point.

So what about legal action? That looks likely to be the only option open to you. Given your circumstances, it would be worth heading to Citizens Advice.

On its website, it says: 'You might be able to get help with court fees if you're on a low income.' It then points to the Government website showing what help you can qualify for.

I turned to a legal expert to give an indication of how likely you would be to succeed in a court bid for the cash.

Paul Crowley, senior partner at Paul Crowley & Co Solicitors in Liverpool, replied: The reader has entered into a verbal contract to loan to her daughter the sum of £70,000. 

At this juncture it may be difficult to prove the terms of the contract.

I assume that the reader's daughter will allege that the money was a gift rather than a loan. 

In those circumstances, a court would find it difficult to decide who was telling the truth.

This will be especially difficult as the reader does not appear to have agreed any terms in respect of the loan and does not appear to have made any attempt for the money to be repaid.