Who'll find love on our blind date? This week Emma, 48, met Simon, 46 - but things turned south when the Brexit vote was brought up over lunch...

  • Each week we send two singles out for dinner and report back on their date
  • This week, Emma Donaldson and Simon Howard went to Bella Mia in Nottingham
  • Emma has never been married while Simon Howard divorced two years ago

Each week, we send two singles out for dinner and report back on their blind date — with a little advice thrown in to help those who are venturing back to dating in middle age.

This week, Emma Donaldson and Simon Howard went to Bella Mia in Nottingham for lunch.

Emma is 48 and has never been married, although she has had several long-term relationships. Living in Leicester, she works as a teaching assistant.

Simon Howard is 46 and manages a pub in Rotherham, South Yorkshire. He was in the Royal Navy for 15 years and divorced two years ago.

Emma, 48, says:

I tend to fancy men who are thin and full of angst — which hasn’t made life easy, believe me — so I knew immediately that Simon wasn’t my type

I tend to fancy men who are thin and full of angst — which hasn’t made life easy, believe me — so I knew immediately that Simon wasn’t my type

I tend to fancy men who are thin and full of angst — which hasn’t made life easy, believe me — so I knew immediately that Simon wasn’t my type.

In fact, I thought he looked really ‘blokey’, so I assumed he would bore me senseless.

But he wasn’t like that at all. He was a nice man and fun to chat with, so I greatly enjoyed our date.

In a way, it was a relief that he wasn’t my type, because it meant I could just enjoy the lunch. I’ve met two guys before while internet dating who I’ve really liked, and it hurt so much when they said they didn’t want to continue seeing me.

My last date abandoned me in a pub. I’d bought him a pint and he went to the toilet and never came back, so I was determined that my lunch with Simon could only be an improvement.

I suspected Simon also knew there was no chemistry so, halfway through the meal, I told him I was glad that I had come, but that I knew a relationship was never going to ignite.

He agreed — and, after that, I felt we both just relaxed.

The food was excellent, and I would definitely recommend the restaurant. I had cheese and tomato pizza and strawberry ice cream, while Simon had seafood pasta and a fancy pudding.

We talked about lots of things, from our dating disasters and TV shows to root canal surgery, which I’m due to have soon — he told me about his experience.

Simon made me laugh a lot and he didn’t talk at me. I blooming hate it when men talk at me.

There were no awkward moments and I genuinely felt that Simon listened to the points I was making. He is fabulous company and would make someone a lovely partner — though, sadly, not me.

He was much better company than I thought from my first impression. He was charm itself. I would definitely go out for a drink with him again, but it’s no to any romance.

I’m old enough now to always trust my instincts and I knew there was no chemistry, even though he was a lovely date. So at the end of the night, I gave him a friendly hug and wished him well.

LIKED: He’s a decent ‘blokey’ bloke.

REGRETS: None. I had a lovely time on the date.

COFFEE or CAB? Cab, rather than coffee. But I’m sure Simon will meet someone soon and no one will be happier for him than me.

VERDICT: 8/10

Simon, 46, says:

To be honest, I knew Emma wasn’t my cup of tea as soon as I saw her. It’s hard to describe my ideal woman until I’ve found her, but I like someone smartly dressed who has presented themselves well

To be honest, I knew Emma wasn’t my cup of tea as soon as I saw her. It’s hard to describe my ideal woman until I’ve found her, but I like someone smartly dressed who has presented themselves well

The meal was lovely. I really enjoyed my king prawn seafood linguine, followed by a lemon torte. But as for Emma? What can I say? Yes, we did share some laughs, and there were no awkward silences. But we were like polar opposites.

Our opinions could not have been more different.

As a result, I have to admit I didn’t particularly enjoy her company. It’s hard to enjoy yourself when you are sat with someone who opposes everything that’s important in your life.

We covered it all, from politics and religion to the military — and whatever I believed in, she believed in the opposite.

There were no heated discussions — I run a pub and am used to dealing with lots of different types of people — but we were chalk and cheese.

I was in the Navy, she hates the military. I go to church, she is not religious. I voted to leave the EU, she voted to remain.

To be honest, I knew Emma wasn’t my cup of tea as soon as I saw her. It’s hard to describe my ideal woman until I’ve found her, but I like someone smartly dressed who has presented themselves well.

Also, there has to be chemistry. It’s hard to know what that is until you feel it. There was definitely none with Emma.

All in all, it was a disappointing experience as I’d got my hopes up for the date. I genuinely felt I might finally meet someone I liked. But I need that chemistry, and it was not there.

It’s harder to date at my age, because you don’t know who is single, and internet dating is so impersonal.

Good company and a nice meal out is a much more enjoyable way of meeting people, so I prefer going on actual dates.

I’ve only been on about four, though, most of which I arranged through friends.

People often think I must meet women in the bar, but I don’t consider that appropriate.

Who wants to be chatted up by the barman?

One woman I did meet and go on a couple of dates with ended up coming back to the bar with a new man, so I’m not doing that again.

The date with Emma reinforced to me that compatibility and chemistry are so important.

I was happy to stay and enjoy the lunch, but was equally happy when it was over.

It hasn’t put me off dating, though. I’ll just have to keep looking for that spark.

LIKED: Emma leaving. You couldn’t have put two more unmatched people together. She’s very set in her ways and her opinions are polar opposite to mine.

REGRETS: No regrets. It hasn’t put me off dating.

COFFEE OR CAB? Cab.

VERDICT: 5/10

DATE DOCTOR'S VERDICT... 

So what is chemistry? Our Dating Doctor Alana Kirk explores how we find the best ingredients for an explosive reaction.

Chemistry is a word that comes up a lot when we talk about dating. It seems to be a key ingredient for a successful date, yet we can rarely pinpoint what it is.

We have probably all felt that frisky frisson that gives us butterflies. But why does it often feel elusive when we are dating again?

Chemistry is a connection. It doesn’t have to be sexual — although that’s what we want from a date!

But it is more than attraction. There is a hormonal reaction that causes a psychological high. It can mean the silences are comfortable, rather than awkward. You are as interested in hearing their stories as when telling yours.

Chemistry can’t be faked or changed. You either feel it or you don’t. The more you date, however, the more likely you are to learn about yourself and know it when you do feel it.

Research has shown that physical appearance has little to do with it. Other factors include compatibility, how much you disclose (too little and they can’t get to know you; too much and it’s overwhelming), eye contact and smell.

Dating can be a long-term process, but when you feel that frisson, it’s worth it.

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