How to get your man to commit
Need advice on how to get your man to commit? Ask George Weinberg by sending an email marked to his attention to editorial@femail.co.uk.
He enjoys the romance, but doesn't want to make long-term plans. Sounds familiar? Author George Weinberg explains why your man fears commitment - and suggests ways to win him round.
Wherever you turn you hear women talking
about men as being afraid of commitment. But this is simply not
true. Men actually want commitment every bit as much
as women do.
What terrifies men isn't commitment but what they perceive as the loss of their masculinity. The secret of why they won't
commit (even when they want to) involves very particular fears.
If you understand the
the four basic psychological needs that all men share then you can help him conquer these fears.
See me as I really am, not only as I pretend to be
If you can be the woman who not only permits him to be himself
but also wants to know what truly matters to him, you will encourage him as
the relationship progresses to reveal himself to you and you will become
special to him.
Keeping it light when you start to care
Men are terrified of lifestyle
change. Many women underestimate the depth of this problem. Men see freedom as hard won and a measure of virility but you can actually use your man's neurotic need to travel light to your
advantage, He'll be so thankful for the space that you give him that he'll
want to make you happy.
Be there for me, I'm scared
To hear women talk, loyalty sounds more important to them than it is to the
men in their lives. But loyalty is far more vital to your man than it is to
you - even while he is on the fence of commitment. He needs your loyalty for the same kind
of reassurance but also for one other reason - being betrayed by you in any
number of ways, calls his entire manhood into question
Give me the love that I'm too ashamed to ask for
No matter what your man actually says, in his heart he feels every bit as
lonely and desperate for a relationship as you do. Of all his basic needs, the need for intimacy
is the strongest, but it is also the most embarrassing.
Terms of endearment are often hard for men, even when the two of you
are alone. His conflict
is that you have changed his life, but no-one must know it, not you, not
even himself.
Read a full extract from WHY MEN WONT COMMIT - How to Get What You Both Want Without Playing Games by George Weinberg (Simon & Schuster, £10.99) in YOU magazine on Sunday.
