'I screamed until he stopped the car and I ran': The dating rules that could save your life... and the four places you should NEVER meet someone for the first time
Beth was about 16 years old when she was invited to a concert by a boy she’d been casually dating for a while.
But soon after he picked her up, she noticed he wasn’t driving to the venue after all.
When she asked, he said he was going to pick up some friends.
‘So you guys will probably all be getting high and drinking while I’m the only girl in a car crammed with guys?’ she said.
‘Yep.’
She asked to go home and he refused.
Increasingly angry, but also terrified, she started to scream until he eventually pulled over.
‘I opened the door and ran.’
Dannah Eve studied criminology and psychology in college and graduated summa cum laude
Dating today can feel exciting, hopeful, and full of possibility. But it can also feel scary, daunting, and at times overwhelming
Beth is one of the many people I have spoken to in my work as a personal safety expert. And her story is far from unique. It could also have ended very differently had she not trusted her instincts.
Dating today can feel exciting, hopeful, and full of possibility. But it can also feel scary, daunting, and at times overwhelming. Especially early on, when you’re still getting to know someone, and small decisions matter more than people realize.
As The Street Smart Blonde, I have more than four million followers who trust my mantra to ‘live aware, not in fear’.
I studied criminology and psychology in college and graduated summa cum laude. For years I planned to go to Quantico and join the FBI. But after the loss of a close friend, becoming a mom, a mass shooting in my hometown of Highland Park, Illinois, and the shock of the Idaho Four killings, I felt a calling I could no longer ignore.
I started sharing safety tips online with a simple goal: if I could help even one person make a safer decision, if I could spare even one family from unimaginable pain and loss, if I could save just one life, it would be worth it.
I didn’t do it to scare anyone. I did it because awareness is empowering. And because being prepared costs nothing.
What followed was something I never could have imagined. My community grew rapidly. Messages poured in. Stories were shared. And I realized just how deeply people were craving practical, real-world safety education.
Fast forward two years and I am gearing up for the launch of my new book, Street Smarts on February 3.
The murders of four students in Idaho was part of the impetus for Dannah to share her safety advice online
It covers all areas of personal safety, but these are the principles I teach when it comes to dating in this unpredictable, often frightening world.
1. Don’t overshare
You don’t know someone until you truly know them. And that early connection you feel after multiple late-night texts does not equal earned trust.
So, when you’re first getting to know someone, avoid sharing:
- Your home address
- Exactly where you work
- The gym you go to regularly
- Predictable routines or locations
Oversharing doesn’t make you open, it makes you traceable.
You’re allowed to keep details vague while trust is still being built. Anyone who pressures you to reveal personal information early is telling you something worth paying attention to.
2. Always control your own transportation
This is especially important on first dates and in the early stages of dating.
That means:
- Don’t let them pick you up
- Don’t let them drop you off
- Don’t share an Uber
Controlling your transportation gives you autonomy. It gives you options. And options matter if you ever need to leave quietly, quickly, or without explanation.
3. Trust discomfort before you can explain it
Sometimes nothing is overtly wrong and yet something feels off.
That feeling is your intuition speaking, and it matters.
Don’t let them pick you up, don’t let them drop you off, and don’t share an Uber
Your instincts pick up on patterns before your conscious mind can articulate them. Timing. Tone. Energy shifts. Inconsistencies. If your body is signaling discomfort, listen.
You don’t need proof to prioritize your safety.
4. Do your homework (within reason)
You don’t need to run a background check worthy of a crime documentary.
But you should:
- Look at social media profiles
- Cross-check dating app information
- Search their name
- Check LinkedIn
You’re looking for consistency and alignment.
This isn’t paranoia or being ‘crazy’. It’s due diligence. Verifying that someone is who they say they are is a reasonable step in today’s digital world.
5. Do a FaceTime check before the first date
A quick video call can tell you a lot.
Do have a quick FaceTime call before the date to ensure they are who they say they are
Keep dates in a busy, well-lit place
Don't let him take you hiking on a first date - isolation removes options and options keep you safe
It’s not about interrogation. It’s about confirming:
- This person exists as they present themselves
- The interaction feels comfortable
- The vibe aligns with what you expect
Think of it as a simple check-in before committing your time and energy to an in-person meeting.
6. Keep first dates public and well-lit
First dates should happen in busy, well-lit, public places.
Avoid:
- Hikes
- Boats
- Isolated environments
- Private homes
Isolation removes options. Options keep you safe.
7. Have a check-in person
Before a date, someone you trust should know:
- Who you’re meeting (full name)
- What they look like
- Where you’re going
- When you’ll be there
- And they should hear from you afterward
You can even set up a check-in call or text to give yourself an easy out if needed. This isn’t dramatic… it’s smart.
8. Give yourself an exit… and use it
This is where my mantra ‘Lie to Survive’ comes in.
If something feels off, you are allowed to leave. You do not owe honesty at the expense of your safety.
You can say:
- You’re not feeling well
- A friend has an emergency
- Something came up
The goal is de-escalation and getting home safe.
9. Be thoughtful with dating profile photos
Pay attention to what your photos reveal:
- Street signs
- Building numbers
- Frequently visited locations
- Your car (or license plate)
Share your location with someone you trust, and check in with a friend before and after the date
Watch your drink and stay clear-headed - if you lose sight of your drink at any point, order a new one
Trust your intuition - if something feels off, don't ignore that feeling
Background details can give away more information than you realize. Being intentional with what you share is a form of self-protection.
10. Share your live location with someone you trust
Live location sharing is a quiet layer of safety that costs nothing and adds peace of mind. Especially early on, having someone know where you are can make all the difference.
11. Watch your drink and stay clear-headed
If your drink leaves your line of sight, get a new one.
Enjoy yourself, but stay clear-headed. Decision-making matters, especially with someone you don’t truly know yet.
Dating safety isn’t about living in fear. It’s about moving through the world informed, empowered, and confident in your ability to protect yourself.
These tools aren’t meant to limit your life - they’re meant to give you confidence to live. And sometimes, they’re the difference between a close call and a tragedy that could have been prevented.
If sharing this information helps even one person date more safely, then it’s worth sharing. Don’t scroll past it. Store it. Use it. Pay it forward to the women (and men) you love. Because knowledge is power… and awareness is always your best first line of defense.
Street Smarts: Trust Your Instincts, Outsmart Danger, and Stay Safe in a World That Isn’t by Dannah Eve is published by William Morrow, February 3.
