I used a surrogate to welcome my daughters - here's the downsides to the process that nobody talks about
- Eran Amir, 47, from New York, used surrogacy to welcome his two daughters
- But he said his journey to fatherhood was 'emotionally challenging'
- He spoke to DailyMail.com about the harsh realities of using a surrogate
A dad who used surrogacy to welcome his daughters has opened up about the harrowing dark sides to the process that nobody talks about.
As a 'single gay man,' Eran Amir, 47, from New York, knew his options were 'limited' when he decided he wanted to have kids.
He ultimately turned to surrogacy, but his journey to fatherhood was 'emotionally, financially, and logistically challenging' in ways he never expected.
Not only did he struggle immensely with finding the right gestational carrier, but once he did connect with a surrogate, he admitted that he was filled with dread over the constant 'unknowns' and 'what ifs.'
Now a father-of-two, Eran is extremely grateful that he was able to use surrogacy to welcome his daughters - Ariel, six, and Yael, three - but he admitted that the process had a lot more 'twists and turns' than he expected.
A dad who used surrogacy to welcome his daughters has opened up about the harrowing dark sides to the process that nobody talks about
He spoke exclusively to DailyMail.com about the harsh realities of using a surrogate in the hopes of helping others who may be going through something similar.
'Welcoming my daughters via surrogacy was absolutely one of the most rewarding experiences of my life - but it was far from easy,' he admitted.
'It started with a dream - a desire to become a father - and quickly became a complex puzzle of decisions, emotions, and logistical hurdles.
'One of the biggest challenges was the constant uncertainty. You’re navigating a process that is filled with so many unknowns, and much of it is out of your control.'
Eran explained that the first hurdle he faced was finding the perfect person to carry his child.
He said he spent months 'vetting agencies' and looking for a surrogate who shared his 'values.'
'There’s a lot of trust involved, and it’s a daunting task to choose someone who will carry your child when there’s so much at stake,' he explained.
Finally, a 'match was made,' but what came next wasn't any easier.
As a 'single gay man,' Eran Amir (seen with his daughters), 47, from New York, knew his options were 'limited' when he decided he wanted to have kids
He ultimately turned to surrogacy, but his journey to fatherhood was 'emotionally, financially, and logistically challenging' in ways he never expected
Not only did he struggle immensely with finding the right agency and gestational carrier, but once he did connect with a surrogate, he admitted that he was filled with dread over the constant 'unknowns'
He recalled 'anxiously' waiting for the embryo transfer, and 'holding his breath' during every medical update.
Eran said the nine-month pregnancy 'felt like a marathon,' and remembered feeling 'helpless' and 'powerless' a lot of the time.
'I worried constantly - would everything go smoothly? Was I supporting my surrogate enough?' he said.
'Each step brought a mix of anticipation and fear, and I spent months living in that tense, "what if" space.
'It’s a strange feeling, being so deeply connected yet physically removed.
'I often felt a bit powerless, wanting to do more, but knowing I had to trust the process and let go of that need to control everything.'
He said he wanted to be 'involved in every step,' but admitted that he often felt 'removed.'
He also faced numerous 'legal hurdles,' and reflected on the immense financial burden of using a surrogate.
'Every state has different laws around surrogacy, and you have to be meticulous to ensure every detail is in place - from parental rights to medical decisions,' he pointed out.
Eran is grateful that he was able to use the process to welcome his two daughters - Ariel, six, and Yael, three - but he admitted that it has a lot more 'twists and turns' than he expected
He spoke exclusively to DailyMail.com about the harsh realities of using a surrogate in the hopes of helping others who may be going through something similar
'Then there’s the financial side of things. Surrogacy is a significant investment, and managing the financial aspects - ensuring I was making the right choices while staying on budget - added another layer of complexity to an already complicated process.'
Despite all the struggles he faced, Eran said that the second he held his daughter for the first time, he knew it was worth it.
'It felt like all the stress and fear dissolved in an instant,' he gushed. 'Ultimately, it’s all worth it.
'When you finally hold your baby, the distance disappears, and all you feel is pure love and appreciation.'
Eran has now launched his own company, called GoStork, which is dedicated to helping others 'find, compare, and connect with top fertility providers.'
'I didn’t want others to feel as lost or overwhelmed as I did,' he said of the business.
'I wanted to provide a resource that makes this journey a little easier because I know firsthand how challenging it can be.'
