EVERYONE'S TALKING ABOUT: Washing up
Er, why?
Because Americans are disgusted by the way we Brits wash up (a phrase they also find very comical).
Well, it’s more accurate than ‘doing the dishes’ – we’re tacitly including glassware and cutlery.
Including glassware and cutlery is exactly what we shouldn’t be doing, apparently.
Sorry?
Stateside observers can’t believe that we ‘clean’ everything together in the same dirty water.
Sud off! When it comes to cleaning dishes, Americans say Brits play dirty
But…
And that’s not the worst of it. Once we’ve got our mixed utensils coated in muddy suds, we just leave them in the rack to dry.
You mean without rinsing?
Exactly.
Where’s America’s evidence?
It began with a viral TikTok (18.6 million views and rising) from @spiritual_af, asking her UK followers to film themselves washing up after becoming alarmed by the national failure to rinse.
What happened next?
Despite attempts to defend themselves by several of @spiritual_af’s UK followers, American contributors piled in to confirm her suspicions, posting evidence of their own.
What sort of things did they say?
‘I know exactly what you mean. UK washing up is messed up!’ offered @spacefrogen while @sabbriinam reported a ‘huge culture shock’ when they visited Britain, adding that they ‘thought the dishes were matt until I washed them’.
This is outrageous!
‘I just cancelled my trip to London’ confided one traveller. ‘Is that how they flavour their food?’ mused another.
We cannot let this slur pass unchallenged.
We haven’t. Since the TikTok was unleashed earlier this month, major sink-based unrest has erupted.
Good! Let’s give ’em six of the best with the business end of the washing-up brush.
Passions are certainly inflamed. ‘Don’t most Americans just use paper plates?’ retaliated a scathing (and probably British) contributor before outlining a favourite way to do the dishes: ‘I like to make a sink full of tea and let them soak. Then give them a scrub with a crumpet.’
Who would have thought the use of washing-up liquid could prove so contentious?
The Devizes constabulary.
Pardon?
After a stunt last month, in which two bottles of washing-up liquid were emptied into the town’s fountain, officers were compelled to act.
How’s operation bubble going?
‘We will be speaking with the town council to check their CCTV and identify those involved,’ said a spokesperson.
No soft-soaping from the Wiltshire force, then.
Not exactly, although the spokesperson did add: ‘In the meantime, we’re taking the opportunity to wash up the station’s teacups.’
They’d better rinse them afterwards, unless they want the FBI involved.
They could, as some in the washing-up row tried to point out, simply use a dishwasher.
I’m damned if I’ll desert my washing-up bowl just because America doesn’t like it!
Noted, but you do own a dishwasher, right?
Right.
Provided you don’t use it to wash fruit and veg, you’ll be fine.
Who uses a dishwasher to wash fruit and veg?
Funnily enough, the Americans.
Ha! And they’re preaching to me about rinsing plates. At least I haven’t got broccoli in my Bosch.
On TikTok a woman putting fruit and veg in her dishwasher (on a rinse cycle, with vinegar in lieu of rinse aid) has had 11.4 million views.
What comments did she get?
‘I’m waiting for a company to now make [dishwasher] pods for vegetable and fruit cleaning’ offered one enterprising follower.
Ridiculous! This transatlantic discord will go down in history.
And we know how our children will refer to 2024.
The year of the great cleaning clash?
No. Dishwatergate.
