Carole confidential

Don't miss live every week in The Mail on Sunday

She's shared a thousand problems ...now let our lifestyle adviser Carole Caplin help solve yours

Q

I have a senior executive job but it seems that in every place I work I end

up being seduced by an ambitious junior colleague.

How can I improve my willpower before it damages my career? David, Birmingham.

A

Why would sleeping with a junior colleague damage your career? Does that happen any more in the modern world – or do you just feel

like boasting about it? If you really do have career fears, you need to face

the fact that you get a distinct kick out of 'being seduced'. Your ego obviously craves these encounters, so just accept that you'll have

to live with the risk. If you were genuinely fearful about your career, you'd soon be able to

control yourself.

Q

My job is very high-pressured and involves working 11-hour days. I want to

stay fit, but I can't find the time. What should I do?

A

If you can't improve your life by cutting down on your work hours, it means

you are going to have to be incredibly disciplined. To start with, make sure you're in bed between 9.30pm and 11pm, from Sunday

to Thursday nights. Initially, include Fridays too. Cut out all caffeine and alcohol for one month, and increase your water

intake to two litres a day. Have three decent, fresh-food meals a day, replacing sandwiches with

soups, baked potatoes and masses of green veg.

Start your fitness regime with a half-hour walk on the way to or from work

or at lunchtime. Take a few minutes through the day to stretch and walk

around. Then, join Tom, Ipswich a gym and at weekends do a mix of gym and

class work. Your fitness levels will soon pick up.

Q

After 12 years with my partner, our sex life has dwindled to almost

nothing. We have a good relationship in all other areas, but neither of us

seems interested in sex. Is this normal? Jamie, Glasgow.

A

Yes, perfectly. In long-term relationships, problems in this area only

arise if one partner has a higher sex drive than the other. In your case,

neither of you seems to be that concerned, so why worry? If, however, you both feel sad about no longer being sexually active, you

need to talk about the matter openly and honestly – you may then be surprised

to discover new parameters of interest.

Q

My wife gave birth six months ago and still won't let me near her. Could

she still be in pain or is there's something else going on? Eric, Canterbury.

A

Your wife has been through a life-changing experience that affects many

women physically, hormonally and psychologically.

Instead of being suspicious, have you tried to discuss this issue with her? Caring for a new baby is an exhausting 24-hour job, fraught with anxieties and fears. All of which make it difficult for new mothers to relax and feel

sexy. Try to be gentle and reassuring with your wife; try to help as much as you

can, and if possible organise for someone else to look after your baby

overnight now and again so you can spend some time together.

For advice on your life, sex and relationship problems, email carole.caplin@mailonsunday.co.uk