The day Boris's ego was tamed

By BLACK DOG FOR THE MAIL ON SUNDAY

Published: | Updated:

The only man known to have silenced the giant ego that is Boris Johnson is Sir Charles Wheeler, BBC foreign correspondent and father of Boris’s long-suffering wife Marina. 

Wheeler, who died in 2008, reportedly once gave Boris a dressing-down over his extramarital adventures. 

Dog’s source says: ‘Charles told him to stop dragging his daughter’s name through the mud. Boris got the message.’

The only man known to have silenced the giant ego that is Boris Johnson is Sir Charles Wheeler, BBC foreign correspondent and father of Boris’s long-suffering wife Marina

The only man known to have silenced the giant ego that is Boris Johnson is Sir Charles Wheeler, BBC foreign correspondent and father of Boris’s long-suffering wife Marina

 

Feisty anti-EU Minister Priti Patel relaxes during the referendum campaign by listening to heavy metal band Metallica played at near windscreen splitting volume in her car. 

Ominously for David Cameron, her favourite Metallica songs are Seek And Destroy, Nothing Else Matters and For Whom The Bell Tolls.

 

Tory Lord Carnarvon, owner of Highclere Castle where Downton Abbey was filmed, has given his own analysis of the virtues of staying in the EU. 

‘We have two very good people from Portugal working in banqueting,’ says Lord C in impeccable vowels. ‘If those kind of things were halted, we would find it hard.’ 

Indeed. Lord Grantham couldn’t have put it better.

 

The low ratings of bearded scruff Jeremy Corbyn appear to be turning the next Labour leadership battle into a ‘beauty contest’. 

Rugged ex-soldier Dan Jarvis will set out his ‘vision’ this week following TV appearances from rival poster boy Chuka Umunna. 

‘They are more interested in moisturisers than manifestos,’ scowled a Labour lag.

Rugged ex-soldier Dan Jarvis (pictured) will set out his ‘vision’ this week following TV appearances from rival poster boy Chuka Umunna

Rugged ex-soldier Dan Jarvis (pictured) will set out his ‘vision’ this week following TV appearances from rival poster boy Chuka Umunna

 

Corbyn has summoned his front bench to Dagenham on Tuesday to mark International Women’s Day in a bid to cash in on the 1960s women’s equal pay strike, which inspired the Made In Dagenham film featuring Bob Hoskins, Sally Hawkins and Miranda Richardson. 

A Labour ‘remake’ starring Corbyn, Diane Abbott and Emily Thornberry is a guaranteed political box office turkey.

 

Non-PC MPs are outraged over the decision by Commons chiefs to commission a gay rights tribute written in Polari, a gay slang, by Jez Dolan, a specialist in ‘Queer Identity’. 

Examples of Polari include ‘Omi ajax TBH’, which apparently means ‘a man nearby is sexually accessible’. Not a sentence you are likely to read in Hansard. Yet.

 

EC President Jean-Claude Juncker’s crass jibe that anti-EU campaigners ‘should visit the military cemeteries in Europe’ brought to mind US President Lyndon B Johnson’s apt riposte when Charles de Gaulle took France out of Nato in 1966 and demanded all American troops ‘leave French soil’. 

Johnson asked: ‘Does that include the 60,000 buried beneath it?’ Touche.

 

A pro-EU Tory Minister produced a novel criticism of Foreign Secretary Philip Hammond for calling anti-Brussels MP Sir Bill Cash a ‘total s***’. ‘Philip was wrong: Cash is a complete ****,’ spat the MP. 

Good taste forbids Dog from revealing more, other than that the first asterisk is a hard consonant – and it was uttered by a brute who used to be in the Foreign Office. 

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