PETER MCKAY: So who has stuck the knife into Sturgeon?

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What do you make of the ‘Nicola Sturgeon would prefer David Cameron as PM’ story? The Scot Nat leader denies having said this to the French ambassador, Sylvie Bermann.

The claim was made by an unnamed Whitehall official in a note which was later leaked to a Conservative-supporting newspaper.

He (or she) had a telephone conversation with Pierre-Alain Coffinier, the French consul-general in Edinburgh, who was present at the Sturgeon-Bermann meeting.

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The Scottish National Party leader Nicola Sturgeon (pictured) denies having said to the French ambassador, Sylvie Bermann, that she would prefer David Cameron to remain as Prime Minister following the election

Coffinier says: ‘At no stage did anyone comment on their preference regarding the elections.’ (Not quite saying Nicola didn’t say Dave was preferable to Ed, but let it pass).

Cabinet Secretary Sir Jeremy Heywood — known as Sir Cover-Up — announces: ‘I have instigated a Cabinet Office-led leak inquiry to establish how extracts from this document may have got into the public domain.’

‘How’ is not important. Ms Sturgeon didn’t ask how this story got into the public domain. She demands to know why a government official leaked a version of what was said calculated to damage her reputation with electors and her party.

If we accept what she says, and that an official invented the story that she preferred Cameron over Miliband to be PM, why would he, or she, do that?

Some Tories blame the Lib Dems, saying the leak was designed to help Nick Clegg save the party’s seats in Scotland. However, a Lib Dem spokesman is quoted as saying the party had ‘absolutely no knowledge of this until it broke’. The Scottish Labour Party must be a suspect, too. Its MPs are threatened with virtual annihilation by the SNP.

Alone among party leaders, Ed Miliband accepts the story at face value, angrily saying: ‘What this shows is that while in public the SNP do not want to see a Conservative government, in private they are saying that they do want a Conservative government.’

For their part, the Tories must be in the frame as well. It doesn’t harm them much for Cameron to be described as Ms Sturgeon’s first-choice as PM.

The STORY resembles an Agatha Christie mystery. Who among the guilty-looking throng in the library attempted to snuff out the SNP’s electoral hopes?

The French involvement adds to the farce. Their ambassador’s meeting with Ms Sturgeon in the run-up to an election is suspicious.

Is it part of a plot to re-establish Scotland’s ‘Auld Alliance’ with France, dating back to the 1295 treaty stipulating that if either country was attacked by England, the other would invade English territory? Ultimately, all that matters is the truth, or otherwise, of the leaked statement.

Given that Nicola Sturgeon’s choice is narrow — only Cameron or Miliband can become PM after the election — does she prefer Dave to Ed?

Some say it’s odds of 40-1 that she does. For there are 40 Labour MPs to one Tory in Scotland. Labour needs to win big in Caledonia to have any chance of an overall majority.

What’s more, Scottish independence — Ms Sturgeon’s desire — is more likely with the Tories in power at Westminster.

It is unclear if Sir Cover-Up’s leak inquiry will have reported back before the final TV debate on April 16. Surely, it will be delayed until after the election, if it reports at all.And so, will Ms Sturgeon raise the matter in that debate? Yes, if private polling suggests she has been damaged by the story in Labour seats which previously seemed winnable. No, if she hasn’t been.

Yesterday, it was reported that she will gang up in the last TV debate with Welsh Nat leader Leanne Wood and the Greens’ Natalie Bennett against Miliband. They’ll try to ‘kill Mil’ over Labour’s support for Trident and public spending cuts.

In any case, it’s possible the ‘Nicola prefers Dave’ story will never be proven and will fade like all political excitements do in time.

My own theory is that it was the French ambassador who suggested to Ms Sturgeon that the SNP leader preferred Dave to Ed, which allows both women to deny that Nicola said it.

Formerly known as Jordan, and famous for her 32G embonpoint, the publicity-seeking glamour model and mother-of-five Katie Price, 36, has had a seventh breast operation, reducing her chief assets to B-cup size. 

New-look Katie tells The Sun: ‘I feel a lot happier with my figure now. I won’t go big again. I’m just not into that now.’ 

Quite so. Less is more. If only our politicians would follow canny Ms Price’s example.

Formerly known as Jordan, and famous for her 32G embonpoint (right), the publicity-seeking model and mother-of-five Katie Price, 36, has had a seventh breast operation, reducing her assets to a B-cup size (left)

Doubts are expressed about yachtsman Louis Jordan, 37, who said after being rescued that he’d survived for 66 days in the Atlantic, clinging to his upturned boat, drinking rainwater and eating raw fish caught by hand.

‘I would have expected him to be severely dehydrated,’ says Erik Kulick, of the True North Wilderness Survival School.

‘After that amount of time at sea, he would have been wobbly on his feet and yet he seemed to walk perfectly. He says he broke his right shoulder and yet he didn’t seem to be guarding it in the pictures. There is a lot that does not add up.’

Jordan explains that his shoulder healed and he survived by praying a lot and reading the End Time Prophecies (signs in the Bible that we are living in the end of times for this world). As for doubters, he says: ‘I don’t mind being criticised. To paraphrase the Bible: fools hate to be criticised, but wise men love to be criticised.’

An audio tape recording has been released of him talking to his father — ‘Hey Dad!’ ‘Hey Louis’ — which was less affecting that might be expected.

Sadly, the intrusion of religion, in the form of the End Time Prophecies, and the assertion that prayers by Louis and his father were key to his survival, does not add believability to Jordan’s tale. We live in cynical times.

Prince Harry’s ex-love, Cressida Bonas, 26, referring to their two-year relationship in an interview about her career, says: ‘All that stuff is not real. It’s really important to remember that all it is is noise — noise that can be very loud at times.’

The ‘noise’ she mentions — the attention of the paparazzi, media stories about herself and Harry — must have been a trial, but the publicity won’t have hindered her career as an aspiring actress.

As for Harry, he’ll continue to face the ‘noise’ — along with the character-building difficulties of all ‘second sons’, especially royal ones.

Cressida Bonas, 26, and Prince Harry (pictured together at Twickenham in March last year) split in April 2014

Happier news about corncrake-voiced singer Joni Mitchell, 71, who was found unconscious at her LA home last week. ‘She continues to improve and get stronger each day,’ we are told. A quirky figure, Ms Mitchell attracts intense fans. 

Novelist Linda Grant, 64, is one. She’ll be glad Joni’s sitting up and taking notice. 

Ms Grant confesses (in The Guardian, naturellement) that she’ll be ‘traumatised’ by Joni’s passing: ‘For a long time, I imagined that I would be hitchhiking one day and Joni would pick me up and we’d drive along under a limitless sky talking about the men we had loved and the trap of marriage and perhaps unavoidable tendency of romantics to become cynics, and the desire for Paris gowns and lacy dresses and skating on a frozen lake in a snow storm . . .’ 

Grand words, Linda, now write the tune!

Turn the other cheek? Smite them hard!

The Archbishop Of Canterbury, the Rt Rev Justin Welby, said in his Easter message that Christians must resist without violence the persecution they suffer and support victims with love, goodness and generosity.

Meanwhile, Home Secretary Theresa May promises that anti-Muslim hate-crimes will be treated by police as seriously as anti-Semitic attacks.

Are Christians protected from hate-crimes? Yes, I know they’re killed abroad for being Christians. And punished here in Britain for expressing Christian views outside church.

For example, NHS occupational therapist Victoria Wasteney, a born-again Christian, was suspended from her job after a Muslim colleague had complained that she had tried to convert her. Wasteney is appealing against the decision.

Andrea Williams, of Christian Legal Centre, says: ‘Where countries let go of a cohesive Christian world view, you get chaos and marginalisation. We’re letting go of what has given us freedom.’

I don’t have a dog in this fight. Although nominally Christian, I didn’t go to church yesterday. Nor do I attend church for any reason other than weddings, funerals and memorial services.

But is it enough to support those being killed for being Christians merely with love, goodness and generosity? Heathen that I am, I favour smiting their killers hard in Old Testament fashion.