The Almighty himself could scarcely have been noisier

By QUENTIN LETTS, PARLIAMENTARY SKETCHWRITER
Updated: 05:54 EST, 1 April 2009

To St Paul's Cathedral to hear Gordon Brown address a congregation of 2,000 souls about 'moral boundaries'.

Such piety! It is only a shame he has never given this homily to certain expense-milking ministers in his government.

The event was a preach-in with the Australian prime minister, a sardonic waffler called Rudd. The meeting was entitled 'Money, Integrity, Wellbeing'. It examined the ethics of the recession, the G20 meeting and 'rebuilding trust' after the financial crisis.

Brown tackles religion with some biblical references: 'We cannot and will not pass by the side when people are suffering'

Various bigshots from the ecclesiastical world were in attendance: Archimandrite Hieronymos, two Grand Muftis (Egypt and Bosnia), an American cardinal and the Greek Archbishop in London. The Bishop of London was in the chair.

If that wasn't devout enough for you, we also had secular holier-than-thou types such as Harriet Harman and Dame Suzi Leather, zealous chairman of the Charity Commission.

Oh-so-chatty Australian novelist Kathy Lette was also in the front row, butting in on conversations, batting her eyelids and crossing her slender legs like the late Kenny Everett. Miss Lette, everybody's best friend, was directly opposite the Grand Muftis. They got a right eyeful.

Mr Brown, keen to make voters think this is an international problem, used the word 'global' 29 times in his oration. More than one a minute.

He started by describing St Paul's as 'a place of sanctuary which amidst the passing storms of time has always been a rock of faith'. I think he was subtly admitting that he has been through a low spell recently and felt relieved to be standing on sacred ground.

Heavenly inspiration: Brown looks to the skies for help as he prepares his address

For a New Labour PM to speak in such churchy surroundings was something of a departure. As was noted later in the event, Tony Blair's henchman Alastair Campbell once declared that 'we don't do God'. There is a militant secular contingent on the Centre Left which will be twitchy about Mr Brown doing something so overtly Christian.

Son of a preacher, Mr Brown took certainly naturally to the high-domed echo. His deep voice, brushed by cold, boomed forth and filled Wren's cold cavern-He stood there at the lectern and looked completely at home.

The only person with a better timbre for the space was the Bishop of London who has one of those ginny, piercing voices which crackle out of the loudspeakers-trident. as jagged as Lucifer's

Before Messrs Brown and Rudd strode to the platform, the mood was set by a school gospel choir who swayed and clapped as they performed.

'You are the source of my strength, you are the strength of my life,' they sang. Mr Brown was waiting in the wings. Do you think his chin crumpled as he wondered if the choir's words were about him?

Then the choir started saying 'Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!', which is what Alistair Darling must say when he wakes up every morning.

The purple-cassocked Bishop, a Sean Connery lookalike, thanked the choir and let slip that they had just won a recorded TV competition. Oh. So that spoils that little secret. The Dean of St Paul's said: 'it is very good to worship, er, welcome our two distinguished speakers'.

Brown's speech was not only written in capital letters but also delivered in them. He asserted, shouted, whacked almost every word. What a din. The Almighty Himself, declaiming down from the firmament, could scarcely have been noisier.

Mr Brown took a swipe at 'the old Washington consensus' of light banking regulation, had some un-Christian digs at the Tory Party and attacked people who sought 'short-term gratification at the expense of longterm success'. Something no politician would do, of course.

He also had a ghastly moment when he told us of an African word, 'themba', which was not only an acronym for 'there must be an alternative' but also Zulu for 'the most important thing that humans can have'.

Themba meant 'the confidence, conviction and certainty that where there are problems there are always solutions and we do not need to accept the defeatism of doing nothing'.

If Labour suffers a landslide defeat in the next election, we now know what to say. Themba, Preacher Gordon, bwana.