Date from hell for Met chief

Beleaguered Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir Ian Blair must have thought that life couldn't throw any more brickbats at him.

Most prominently, of course, there are the demands for the Scotland Yard chief to resign over his handling of the wrongful killing of innocent Brazilian Tube passenger Jean Charles de Menezes at Stock-well station last July, which show no sign of abating.

Then there's Deputy Assistant Commissioner Brian Paddick — openly critical of Sir Ian in his account of the hours after the shooting — who is threatening legal action against the Met for libel, after it flatly rebutted his sworn statement of events.

Amid such furore, the scandal of Sir Ian's audacity in secretly tape-recording a conversation with the Attorney General Lord Goldsmith — a trusted acolyte of the Prime Minister — must have seemed little more than a blip on the Yard boss's radar.

But it is this indiscretion which has come back to haunt Sir Ian with a vengeance this week, I learn, as the Met chief's schedule has embarrassingly thrown up a long-standing dinner date with Lord Goldsmith, which he is unable to duck out of. The pair will be guests at the annual dinner of the Association of Chief Police Officers at London's Guildhall.

And it should be an interesting occasion, as I am told Goldsmith was incandescent to learn that he'd been bugged by Sir Ian.

Organisers of the prestigious shindig are now worried that their first meeting since then will not pass off smoothly, especially as Lord Goldsmith is to deliver a speech to the assembled throng.

Says my impeccable source: "There has been a frantic last-minute reorganisation of the seating arrangements.

"Sir Ian and Lord Goldsmith have not met face to face since the taping disclosure, and there is considerable trepidation about what Lord Goldsmith will choose to say in his keynote address."

Sir Ian, who was obliged to make a humiliating apology after the taping revelations, has an unhappy history with speeches at the event.

At last year's bash, the very PC Commissioner flounced out in moral outrage after the guest speaker, High Court Judge Dame Anne Raffety, told risque jokes about oral sex, limp wrists and a flatulent Jack Russell.

No tape-recorder gags, please!

Crime author opts for lethal injection

Doyenne of crimewriting P.D. James has probably brooded more than most on the grisly subject of execution and assorted methods of final dispatch.

And now I hear that, following a visit to Scotland Yard's notorious Black Museum, the Baroness has chosen her own hypothetical method of execution should she ever be found guilty of a capital crime.

Lady James, 85, who visited the museum for this Sunday's edition of the South Bank Show with Melvyn Bragg, says: "I would rather have the

lethal injection than be hung.

"I would probably die more quickly and painlessly

with hanging... but hanging seems more terrifying and more barbaric, though it is an

effective way of executing someone."

BBC chairman Michael Grade and Director General Mark Thompson have been warned, along with other

staff, about an upsurge in street robberies around the Beeb's London HQ in Wood Lane.

In the past week, at least half a dozen female members of staff leaving work have had their handbags snatched by two men riding a motorcycle close to the footpath. Other workers have been mugged on the pavement.

Confirms my man with the baseball bat in White City: "Staff have been asked to take extra care,

especially when leaving work in the evenings."

Let's hope the robbers don't dent Michael or Mark's chauffeur-driven cars as they glide out of

Television Centre.

Why Eugenie can't brace herself to flash a smile...

It's not unheard of for teenagers to be somewhat morose, yet it was still noticeable that Princess

Eugenie was strangely reluctant to smile for pictures at a fashion party in London's Selfridges on Wednesday night.

Accompanying her mother the Duchess of York, the young Royal - who turned 16 yesterday - stoically

resisted the collective blandishments of photographers to flash her teeth.

"Come on, love, give us a smile!" pleaded the

snappers. Alas, Eugenie, looking pretty for all her apparent sullenness, was having none of it. Her tightlipped stance was made all the more noticeable as Fergie, by way of contrast, seemed determined to expose a perfect set of upper and lower molars with a series of dazzling grins for the cameras.

And, embarrassing her daughter as only a mother

can, Fergie showed a delightful lack of discretion as the pair finished posing for the photographers, revealing the reason for her

daughter's failure to co-operate.

Pointing at her mouth, she winked conspiratorially and confided: "Braces."

Holi hair, Sir Bob!

Most men of a certain age hide their ageing locks with Grecian 2000. Not grey-as-a-squirrel Sir Bob Geldof, who turned up to read Keats at the British Library on Wednesday night displaying a shock of red hair.

The 51-year-old Live Aid founder explained that he'd had his hair doused in coloured vegetable oil at the Indian festival of Holi.

The former Boomtown Rats singer admitted: "I'm desperately trying to get rid of it. I am constantly shampooing my hair and I've even tried Daz whitener."

Corgi conundrum still stumps Burrell

Superannuated royal butler Paul Burrell should confine himself to a corner wearing a dunce's hat.

Appearing as a guest on yesterday's edition of Channel 4 quiz show Countdown with Des Lynam and Carol Vorderman, Burrell confessed to being

wholly innumerate.

Remembering one occasion when he had taken the Queen's corgis for a walk in Edinburgh, Burrell

admitted neglecting to count the number of dogs on his leash when he set off.

"I got back and the Queen noticed one was missing," recalled the chastened former

dogsbody. "I was told to go and find him."

Fortunately for Burrell's neck, however, the errant pooch was eventually found near Arthur's

Seat in Holyrood Park, happily ensconced in a

rabbit hole.

PS The Duchess of Cornwall's decision to join her local branch of the Women's Institute at Tetbury, Gloucestershire, provides a small financial windfall: Camilla now qualifies for a £20 reduction with Saga home insurance. With a rumoured habit of spending £500 a day on make-up, this should cover the cost of an eyebrow pencil or two.