Ah, an age-old debate. In r/AskReddit, someone asked, "Introverts, what’s something extroverts often misunderstand about you?" People wrote in on the nuances of being an introvert — and, as an introvert, I found these incredibly insightful. Here's what people said:
1. "The peace of just being alone."
2. "Silence doesn’t bother me at all. I don’t see it as awkward. Sometimes quiet moments are the most relaxing part of being with someone."
3. "That I love people, just one at a time. Not in groups."
4. "I just don't want to talk. That's it. No offense."
5. "Just because I'm not doing anything doesn't mean I'm free. I made plans to do nothing. I hate the 'Hey, are you doing anything? No? Then you can come to this thing,' followed by 'Why not? You're not doing anything.'"
6. "Being an introvert does not mean you're antisocial. Rather, it means you prefer a different balance between socializing and private time than extroverts."
7. "When I say I need alone time to recharge, I mean I need alone time, and I will become progressively less and less engaged with every person around me until I achieve it. It's not a choice — it's like trying to keep your head up in class after pulling an all-nighter. You know you need to be paying attention to something, but you just can't."
8. "It also doesn't mean lack of social skills. Way too many people equate the two, and it peeves me. Introverts process things internally, which means they need quiet time to process things and recharge when alone. Extroverts process externally (bouncing off from other people), so they recharge in groups. As a result, introverts have a lower social battery and need to be alone to recharge. That's literally it. Being introverted doesn't mean you have social anxiety, hate people, etc. People are always shocked when they hear I'm introverted. I talk a lot, have great social skills, enjoy being in public, like big groups, often chat up random people, and sometimes end up in the social spotlight because I'm just naturally energetic and chatty. It's just that after doing that, I go home, mute my phone, and lie down with a book."
9. "Introversion does not equal anti-social, shyness, nor reclusiveness. Although introverted people can also be those things, it all comes down to: I can and like to socialize, but I get drained more quickly, needing more time to recharge than you may need. I'll go to the house party, but maybe I'll sneak off to a quiet room an hour in, or spend some time with the house pet, or leave a bit earlier than most. But I had a good time! I wouldn't have stayed at all if I didn't."
10. "I don't have social anxiety."
11. "I’m not bored when I’m just sitting at home. I’m not lonely, even though I am alone."
12. "Giving me shit for being quiet makes me quieter."
13. "We want to be asked to participate, and feel included while also having the space to respond with no."
14. "I’m not shy. And I don’t dislike social events — I actually go to quite a few of them and join in."
15. "We enjoy being alone because it recharges us, as opposed to extroverts who get charged by socializing with people."
16. "Why can’t extroverts be forced to be more introverted instead of the other way around!?"
17. "I can be outgoing, charismatic, and charming. It's just exhausting."
18. And lastly, "It's genuinely not you. I'm quiet and reserved with literally everyone."
Are you an introvert or an extrovert? What are some things that people often misunderstand on either side? Let us know in the comments! Or, if you prefer to stay anonymous, you can fill out the form below.
Note: Responses have been edited for length/clarity.
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