"I could understand if we’d badgered her for a selfie or stopped her for pointless chitchat, but literally, all we did was notice her walking..."
"I don’t think I can invest $75,000 in my kid's current fixation..."
"Everything was all set up, and then, POOF! It just went away, as if it was never planned in the first place..."
"While I was sobbing, my MAGA mother told me, 'I think Trump's going to do something extraordinary.'"
"I make direct eye contact with every man so they know I could ID them..."
"It’s usually an indicator of boundary-less behaviors and intrusive expectations..."
"A boy at school used to do it, and I still remember it being creepy 30 years later..."
"You can cut down on cooking time, because it will give you that depth of flavor that typically takes hours..."
"If I don't do it, I feel like a 'toilet monster' is going to come and get me..."
"The first time my wife saw me eat it, she looked at me as if I'd grown a third eyeball..."
"It's amazing how men will tell sexist jokes until they have to explain them to a woman's face..."
"In the span of half an hour, I went from getting ready for bed to having sex with a stranger..."
"While I was sobbing, my MAGA mother told me, 'I think Trump's going to do something extraordinary.'"
"When she saw me, her smile dropped, and they both got really awkward..."
I hope you've brought your thinking cap...
"When we stopped to look at the mountain tops, my fiancé pointed straight above us and yelled, 'We need to go right now...'"
At this point, it's my fault for owning a phone...
"When I asked him if he would let his daughter be around Trump, all I got in return was silence."
"I still do it myself, but people shouldn't act like it's the secret to cooking..."