'We became carers to our loved ones overnight'

The partners of three stroke victims have spoken about what it is like to suddenly become your spouse's carer.

BBC Radio Manchester's Stop a Stroke campaign, launched after presenter Mike Sweeney suffered one earlier this year, aims to raise awareness and support both patients and their carers.

Andy Owen, 39, was enjoying the start of the second week of "a lovely family holiday" in Corfu with his wife Sam, 36, and their children - aged two and nine - when their lives changed forever.

Andy, from Blackley, said: "I had come back from reserving the sunbeds at half seven in the morning.

"I got back into bed with Sam and she asked me if I'd saved the sunbeds - I said 'yes'.

"And then literally about 30 seconds later she started whimpering.

"I went 'Are you dreaming or something? Are you alright?'

"And her eyes were just vacant. I knew I wasn't looking at Sam.

"I asked her what was up? And at that moment she couldn't speak, she just grunted."

An ambulance was called, and the couple were told that Sam had a water infection.

She was left unable to walk, dress herself, or use the toilet alone.

While she was still very unwell, Sam was somehow able to fly home.

Once back in Manchester, she went to hospital.

Following a scan, Andy and Sam were given the devastating news that she had suffered a stroke.

Andy had become a carer, almost overnight.

That was six years ago.

Since then, Sam has suffered with seizures and has had to learn how to talk again.

Her memory and temperament have also been affected.

Andy described how everything had affected him.

"I was lost and had no-one to turn to - there wasn't really anything for me.

"I rang my doctor and the doctor asked me: 'Have you grieved?'

"I said: 'Why would I grieve?' and she said 'Because you've lost Samantha'.

"That's when it hit home - that was like a sledgehammer to my face.

"I hadn't even thought about the fact that I'd lost the girl that I'd met when I was 20 - she wasn't that bubbly personality I'd met then.

"From then on I decided to treat this as day one of a new relationship.

"I wondered 'Am I going to have to learn how to love again... Does she love me?'

"I knew her memory had changed, she'd forgotten things.

"That was a fear I never thought I'd have to think about.

"So there's everything else, on top of the caring, looking after your kids, looking after yourself.

"And then it was like 'I've got to grieve - how do I grieve?'"

Andy said he became "angry" and "more frustrated".

"I was snapping at the kids and I had to go and pay for counselling because, it turns out, I had PTSD.

"There was a moment when I was in the shower, and I couldn't get out, because in my mind I could see Sam having a stroke."

Andy said he would advise others caught in his situation to seek and accept support.

He said: "Don't be afraid to stand there and say 'Help!'

"You're not on your own - you've asked for help.

"Just don't think you can do it on your own.

"I think that's human nature sometimes, isn't it? But there is support. You have to look for it.

"Don't give up looking for it and don't give up asking for help."

David Marsh, from Wythenshawe, suffered a stroke in the early hours of 27 December 2021 after what his wife Norma described as a lovely Boxing Day and evening.

She said he got up at about 03:00 and told her: "I'm not well, something is very, very wrong with me."

Norma said: "I asked him a question and the answer I got was just complete gobbledygook, so I thought 'Right, that's it, he's had a stroke.'"

Norma rang 999 and subsequently took David to hospital herself after being told an ambulance could take a couple of hours to arrive.

At this point David was not displaying all of the common symptoms of a stroke - which include drooping of the face and weakness in the arms - but he was completely unable to talk.

At hospital he was given a scan which revealed he had suffered a haemorrhage, caused by a stroke, and there was nothing doctors could do.

He was transferred to intensive care and then to the stroke unit at Trafford General Hospital.

Nearly four years later, Norma says their life is very different from the one they once shared.

She added: "I am angry with the stroke, but I'm not angry at my husband. I am desperately sad for him.

"For me, I have lost my rock, because my husband was my rock.

"I always knew that he had my back, and that he was always there. And now, that's not the case.

"If I'm not well, who's going to look after me? Who's going to take care of me? Because he's not able to, and it would make him very sad to not be able to take care of me."

Norma said for others in a similar situation her advice would be to "take each day as it comes".

She added: "Don't be looking to the future. Don't be thinking about what it's going to be like in a week, in a month, in a year.

"Take each day slowly as it comes."

Teenage sweethearts Joanne and Albert Hardy, from New Moston, have been together since they were 15.

Their relationship changed after Albert had a stroke last December, aged 57.

Albert had been outside that day, building an outdoor kitchen, when he came in for a lie down.

Unusually for the lifelong Manchester United fan, he slept through the majority of their match on television.

His family were not overly concerned, though, and put it down to him being exhausted after his labours.

When Albert finally came downstairs, though, his son noticed that his dad's face had dropped.

"His head went back and he started mumbling," said Joanne. "I thought he was taking the mick out of me, but our son noticed his face was drooping.

"When I asked him to try and focus on me he couldn't, his eyes were rolling back and he couldn't speak."

Albert was rushed to hospital, where he remained until January.

"Everyone thinks that if you have a stroke you're old - but all the strokes are different," Joanne explained.

"Albert is 58 now, it's totally changed everything."

Joanne began caring for Albert during his time in hospital.

When they got home a month later, Joanne said she felt alone.

"It was just really hard, because there was no help, really. I felt like we had gone home and we were just left.

"And I just kept looking at this shell of a man and it was just really sad to see him like that because it's not who he is."

Overnight, Joanne said she felt like she had become a nurse, but without any training or qualifications.

Albert could not get out of bed and needed to be dressed, bathed and fed.

At the same time, Joanne was also caring for her mum.

Albert has begun attending a local group for stroke survivors, something Joanne said had been a real lifeline for him.

Both of them have struggled to come to terms with the changes that have been imposed on them following his stroke.

"I can see the difference in his face," Joanne said.

"He's not the strong person that he was anymore. He's like a little boy, really.

"Albert can't drink any more - he struggled with that because he was a very blokey man, he liked to drink, to go out with the lads, football and everything.

"Everything's changed for him now, everything's completely different - he relies a lot on me."

Joanne went back to work in September, for the first time since her husband's stroke - but worries how she will able to manage trying to balance work with caring for her husband.

According to the NHS, a stroke occurs when blood stops flowing to a part of your brain.

There are about 1.2 million stroke survivors in the UK, approximately 250,000 of whom live with related disabilities.

While strokes are more likely to happen if you're older, they can happen at any age.

The main symptoms often happen very suddenly.

Everyone is encouraged to remember the acronym FAST

• Face weakness: one side of your face may droop and it might be hard to smile
• Arm weakness: you may not be able to fully lift both arms and keep them in the air because of weakness or numbness
• Speech problems: you may slur your words or sound confused
• Time to call 999: the quicker you get to hospital the better

Other symptoms of a stroke include:

• weakness or numbness down one side of your body
• blurred vision or loss of sight in one or both eyes
• finding it difficult to speak or think of words
• confusion and memory loss
• feeling dizzy or falling over
• severe headache
• nausea or vomiting

Symptoms can sometimes stop after a short time, so you may think you're OK.

Even if this happens, you should immediately seek medical help.