In the fall of 1945, an American priest named George Zabelka found himself lost in thought as he wandered through the devastated city of Nagasaki.

He was in the Urakami district, where Urakami Cathedral stood in ruins. The area was ground zero for the atomic explosion that detonated over the port city weeks earlier.

An estimated 8,500 Catholics died in the Aug. 9 blast, as did tens of thousands of other residents.

Zabelka, a native of Michigan state who died in 1992 at the age of 76, discovered part of a thurible, a metal device used to burn incense during religious services, in the debris of the cathedral and picked it up.

He served as a chaplain with the U.S. Air Force and was stationed at Tinian island in the Northern Mariana Islands during the latter stages of the war.

Assigned to the 509th Composite Group, which included the atomic bomb crews for the attacks on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, Zabelka gave them blessings before they embarked on their historic missions from the island in the South Pacific.

On Aug. 6, 1945, the B-29 bomber Enola Gay took off from Tinian island to drop its deadly load on Hiroshima. Three days later, the B-29 bomber Bockscar dropped the bomb on Nagasaki.

According to another priest who served on Tinian island, Zabelka intoned the following: “Almighty Father, we pray thee to be with those who brave the heights of thy heaven and who carry the battle to our enemies. Guard and protect them, as they fly their appointed rounds. May they, as well as we, know thy strength and power and armed with thy might may they bring this war to a rapid end.” (Excerpt from “Ruin from the Air: The Atomic Mission to Hiroshima”)

‘MORALLY JUSTIFIED’ 

During the war and even now, many Americans believe the atomic bombings hastened the end of the war and saved countless American lives.

After the atomic bombing of Hiroshima, U.S. President Harry Truman demanded that Japan surrender, saying, “If they (Japanese leaders) do not now accept our terms (Potsdam Declaration), they may expect a rain of ruin from the air, the like of which has never been seen on this earth.”

Zabelka started searching his conscience after the war. He recalled the blessings he gave to the bomb crews in Tinian island and his conviction at the time “that not only the atomic bombing but also the indiscriminate fire-bombing of Japanese cities was morally justified.” (Excerpt from a speech transcript preserved at the University of Notre Dame in the United States)

But Zabelka changed his mind after he visited Hiroshima and Nagasaki soon after the end of the war and witnessed the devastation.

After returning to the United States, Zabelka joined the National Guard. He also hooked up with Martin Luther King Jr. in the 1960s and proactively threw himself into peace activities.

In the early 1980s, the arms race between the United States and the Soviet Union reached frightening proportions with fears of imminent Armageddon.

Zabelka went on a pilgrimage to Bethlehem, the birthplace of Jesus. During that and other visits, he started calling for nuclear disarmament.

James Thomas, a 70-year-old author who joined Zabelka on many of his travels around the world, said: “For many years, he had a deep sense of guilt from his role in the atomic bombings and walking through the rubble in the A-bombed area. The guilt ate away at him.”

According to Thomas, Zabelka’s shoes had the words Hiroshima and Nagasaki written on them in English.

UNSETTLED FEELINGS

Zabelka visited Japan in the summer of 1984, a full 39 years after the atomic bombings. He brought the thurible artifact with him.

When he arrived at Narita Airport outside Tokyo, he shared his story of profound suffering. He explained that before witnessing the devastation in Hiroshima and Nagasaki, he had believed the atomic bombings were unavoidable to fight for justice. Talking about his long ordeal of personal suffering, Zabelka said he came to believe there was no justice in war.

In August 1984, Zabelka attended Mass to pray for the atomic bomb victims in ceremonies held in Memorial Cathedral for World Peace in Hiroshima and Urakami Cathedral in Nagasaki.

At Urakami Cathedral, he prayed for the victims using the thurible.

BEING FRIENDS WITH ZABELKA

Toyoki Harada, 71, now vicar-general of the archdiocese of Hiroshima, recalled the Mass he attended with Zabelka in Hiroshima in August 1984.

“I had indescribable feelings when those who had dropped the atomic bombs and those who had suffered from it gathered together around the same altar,” he said.

Zabelka listened to the experiences of the atomic bomb victims in a gathering of Catholics held before the Mass that day. Zabelka told Harada that he was glad he came.

Harada empathized with the position of Catholic chaplain found himself in during the war.

“We priests are responsible for the salvation of individuals. Members of the clergy attached to the military have to pray for the soldiers so they can carry out their duties,” he said. “It was a tragedy that we had to do so even though we understood that their duties were to kill people during the war. It was such an era.”

Harada used to teach in a Catholic university and took his students to South Korea on field studies. They visited prisons where independence activists were held during Japan’s 1910-45 colonial rule of the Korean Peninsula to teach the students about Japan’s conduct and aggression.

“Meeting Zabelka, who bravely faced his country’s history of being a perpetrator, led me to do it,” Harada said.

Thomas, who once took part in a pilgrimage with Zabelka, published a memoir titled “Atomic Pilgrim” earlier this year reflecting on that time.

Amid observances on the 80th anniversary of the atomic bombings, Thomas believes that if Zabelka were still alive, he would be aghast that nuclear arsenals have not been eliminated from the world and say: “Listen to the yearning in your hearts for peace. Listen to your children who continue to live in fear of a nuclear holocaust. Humanity is meant to live in peace. The nuclear-armed countries must begin dismantling their nuclear arsenals now.”