GardensTale

Will be destroying crappy nu-metal and praising crappy prog until the sky dies.

Gazpacho – Magic 8 Ball Review

By GardensTale on November 1, 2025 in Reviews, Progressive Metal, Progressive Rock, 29 comments

“Norway may always be most well known for its black metal history, but I’ve come to love the country’s progressive music more than anything else, with its penchant for the dramatic and theatrical yet heartfelt. Gazpacho is at the vanguard of this scene, their 2014 Demon a modern classic and one of the few albums nearly everyone at AMG seems to agree is a masterpiece. Demon was the start of a multi-album storyline about a being that lives in our collective subconscious and pushes us toward our worst impulses, culminating in the excellent Fireworker in 2020. Magic 8 Ball is the first album since, and the first in a few decades to not be a concept album, though there is a loose theme of fate or destiny.” Cold soup or hot sauce?

Harpyr – Trist Review

By GardensTale on October 10, 2025 in Reviews, Black Metal, 38 comments

“It took me a long time to get into black metal, possibly the longest out of all the major metal subgenres. This wasn’t because I kept trying and failing, but because my first forays into the frostbitten were all about that treble, ’bout that treble, no bass kind of production. The kind that sounds like a marble clattering around a vacuum cleaner down in your sketchy uncle’s basement, while your aunt is still upstairs and screeching in hysterics. And it’s all recorded into one of these. I didn’t know that this wasn’t ubiquitous in black metal, that it was widespread primarily in the 90’s, but plenty of bands have since embraced the trinity of evil, kvlt and hi-fidelity recording equipment. I just assumed that if this is what black metal sounded like, then black metal was not for me. Thankfully, I have since learned the error of my ways and was thus happy and even enthusiastic to review newcomers Harpyr.” Loathsome noises in the dark,

we.own.the.sky – In Your Absence Review

By GardensTale on September 30, 2025 in Reviews, Post-Metal, 27 comments

“Though not all post-metal is instrumental, almost all instrumental metal bands play some variation of post-metal. One could write a riveting dissertation exploring the reasons behind this phenomenon and its implications, if one were inclined towards musical studies and history; alas, I am but a humble observer of such odd patterns and have no definitive answers. Perhaps it is part of how heavily defined by vocals many genres are; perhaps the textured and buildup-heavy nature of post-metal simply lends itself well to instrumental approaches. Greek 5-piece we.own.the.sky makes no effort to break the pattern on its third album In Your Absence, but as a fan of the style, I have no complaint.” Sky rights but no space.

Haitón del Guarataro – Pombero Review

By GardensTale on June 8, 2025 in Reviews, Black Metal, Doom Metal, Stoner Metal, 42 comments

“Cryptids are cool as fuck. I don’t believe in them, but highly localized monster myths are just a fascinating insight in the fears and priorities of a particular culture, especially the often esoteric rules surrounding the fabled creatures. For his second album, Alexis Uribe of one-man band Haitón del Guarataro from Buenos Aires, Argentina, focuses on the Pombero, a short hairy humanoid being from Paraguayan folklore. It steals eggs and honey, impregnates women, and is appeased by gifts of rum and cigars. So it’s basically Steel Druhm on a bender. Context aside, I was intrigued by the concept behind Pombero; an album that would morph from stoner doom into black doom across the runtime.” Cryptic.

Walg – V Review

By GardensTale on June 2, 2025 in Reviews, Melodic Black Metal, 64 comments

“As I have mentioned before, I’m focusing primarily on contact form promos this year. But every now and then, I will make exceptions, mostly to cover bands I have seniority over. Fortuitous, then, that twice-listing meloblack mavericks Walg sent their fifth opus V in through our back door, allowing me to keep my streak and eat it too!” Walg cake for all!

Labyrinthus Stellarum – Rift in Reality Review

By GardensTale on May 5, 2025 in Reviews, Melodic Black Metal, 69 comments

“Last year, two shockingly young lads from the war-torn Odesa, Ukraine, released an absolute gobsmacker of an album that wound up monopolizing my non-review rotation for weeks. Vortex of the Worlds was only the second album from Labyrinthus Stellarum, but the cosmic black metal within had power, depth, and hooks for days. Obviously, I wanted more, and the Andronati brothers expedited delivery, leaving less than 13 months between releases. You can strike when the iron is hot, but slow and steady wins the race. Which idiom is idiotic regarding Rift in Reality?” Space in the face.

GardensTale Goes to Roadburn 2025

By GardensTale on April 30, 2025 in Blog Posts, 38 comments

Our man in the Netherlands attended Roadburn and sent dispatches from the front. Then he went missing…

Panthalassan – From the Shallows of the Mantle Review

By GardensTale on April 23, 2025 in Reviews, Power Metal, Progressive Metal, 29 comments

“Angry Metal Guy is an institution, and not just a mental one. Artists often dip into our comment section to express a fondness for our site specifically, and the review requests that land in our contact form are even more devoted (or attempting to ingratiate themselves by pretending to be; politics plays a part too!). The case of Panthalassan is a step further, though. It’s a one-man band inspired by bands we have hawked relentlessly: Lör and Wilderun. After playing guitar for Viathyn and Ravenous, Jake Wright sought to carve his own path, striking out on his own with only the drums of session musician and Viathyn bandmate Dave Crnković to accompany him. Have the AMG classics steered him true?” Metal self-actualization.

Napierdalać – The State of Love and War Review

By GardensTale on April 14, 2025 in Reviews, Black Metal, Symphonic Metal, 10 comments

“First impressions are everything, folks. Despite Napierdalać’s fledgling status, I was immediately encouraged by its presentation and professionalism. The State of Love and War is the band’s debut album, yet everything looks as tidy and organized as most label-backed promos, even using their own website to host the files for the music. This is a downside regarding the promo sheet, though, where reading like it was written by a label is not necessarily a boon. The sheet describes the album with superlatives aplenty and waxes poetically about a Shakespearean plot underpinning the orchestra-backed black/death metal. Does the music live up to the highfalutin chest-thumpin’ advertisements?” We have black metal at home.

An Evening With Knives – End of Time Review

By GardensTale on March 31, 2025 in Reviews, Progressive Metal, Sludge, Stoner Metal, 26 comments

“At the start of the year, I pledged to pick as many promos as I could from those sent to us directly through the contact form, as a way to lift up the smallest of underground acts. But as this week is rather barren, I got to have my choice from the remainder, the label-backed colossi who have all their tedious marketing hubbub taken care of. One band name jumped out at me: An Evening With Knives. A name I’ve seen on plenty a concert bill around here, usually in a supporting capacity. Lo and behold, the lads are local, or rather, they were formed in the next city over. It’s always nice to see geographical peers making waves.” Stab-ility.