“With age and wisdom, it appears this quintet is looking to make an impact decades after the heydays of this unique flavor of thrash came and went. The energy, since the release of Summon Thy Demons, must continue to surge in their veins because I’m back to deliver a review of this year’s Embrace the Awakening. While none of their albums are terrible by any means, will the ‘third-times-the-charm’ bring Mezzrow the breakout success they seek?” Makin’ a Mezz.
“Fuck you, I know this is late. But it ain’t my fault. We never got the damn promo now that Sabaton is signed to… Better Noise Music…? A label that apparently has as many metal bands on its roster as it does Sabatons. So… one. After releasing their decent 2022 release, The War to End All Wars, these Swedish warmongers are back with a brand new concept they’ve never done before. Just kidding, Legends is still about war and shit.” War forever MOAR.
“After releasing the sequel to their debut record in 2017, things have been quiet on the Vintersorg front. But now they are back with Vattenkrafternas spel sets out to take that same infusion of the Vintersorg of old with the Vintersorg of new that we heard from Till fjälls del II. Which I can’t complain about, considering I love it when the band knocks out some of those nasty black metal licks. Not that they have abandoned those influences in the last decade or so, but it’s a touch more prevalent on Vattenkrafternas spel. But, how far will they go, and how well will it work?” Early vinter chills.
“Many fans considered Green Carnation’s 2020 release a return to form for the band, and A Dark Poem Part I: The Shores of Melancholia continues where its predecessor left off. But it also incorporates everything we’ve ever known of the band’s catalog. Returning to the days of Light of Day, Day of Darkness, the band sets out to tell us a new story. Instead of accomplishing it in a single, one-hour song, The Shores of Melancholia marks Part I of a three-part series. This is one hell of an undertaking, but I’m here for it.” Your guide to morbid gardening.
“Two years ago, I grabbed Electrocutioner’s False Idols solely because their one-pager told me not to. And I enjoyed every minute of its straightforward approach to old-school thrash. Even scoring it higher than one would ever dare for something that’s been done countless times over. But there was just something about its riff-machine qualities that hooked me so deeply. Fast forward, and I’ve got my grubby sausage fingers on their sophomore outing, Harbinger. And, once again, you’ll find no gimmicks here. Just beer-swilling thrash in the realm of Slayer, Testament, and Whiplash.” Strong Island strong.
“Next year, one of Metallica’s greatest albums will turn 30 years old. Yup, you guessed it, Load. That’s why I’m writing a YMIO piece for it this year. Not just to break the rules and piss off ole Steelio, but because the band just released a remastered version of this precious little gem. Why would they do that, you might ask? No fucking clue.” Load bearing.
“After dropping a new album last year under his Nachtmystium moniker, I had a sneaky suspicion Ken Sorceron would bless us with a new Abigail Williams record this year. And, sure as shit, A Void Within Existence is here. I’ve been covering this outfit for some time now, thankfully, after their spell in the metalcore realm. And each new album continues to push new boundaries, inching closer to grabbing the counter by the balls and dragging it through blackened muck.” Ms. Williams wants MOAR.
“For those unaccustomed to this iteration of Gaahl, Gaahls WYRD is far removed from the black metal directions of Gorgoroth and Trelldom. While there are moments of classic, second-wave assaults, Gaahls WYRD employs folky avant-garde atmospheres to envelop the listener in an immersive album experience. Though it can be hard to tell on GastiR – Ghosts Invited. Thankfully, Braiding the Stories pushes the envelope even further than the debut album.” WYRD play.
“Finally, with my head pulled from my work’s dismal sphincter, I set off to pen a review of Bear Mace’s newest offering, Slaves of the Wolf. As the Sugar bear licks the shit from my hair, and tickles my ballsack ever so gently with his grizzly claws, I dive straight into the wolf’s den to see what all the fuss is about. To my wondering eyes appears… a motherfucking blood bath.” The Bear maximum.
“While Poland’s Sexmag and new album, Sexorcyzm, sound like a new addition to the Lordi sump of ‘metal,’ they’re far from it. Tagged as a death-thrash outfit, this little foursome is surprisingly fun and versatile for what they do. I’d go even further than these two genres and pin old-school 80s heavy metal to their influences, which adds a beautiful depth and uniqueness to their sound that I haven’t heard in some time. I mean, it’s still as slimy as Midnight, but there be much fun on Sexmag’s debut album. Buckle up, fuckers, we’re about to get sexy.” Dirty mags and genre tags.
