"I'm getting middle aged and neurotic"

Two decades have passed since 16-year old Letitia Dean burst onto out screens as Sharon Watts in Eastenders. Last month, she made a dramatic return to Albert Square along with actor Nigel Harman, who plays her boyfriend, Dennis, and this week we see him propose. In real life, Letitia's husband, media consultant Jason Pethers, popped the question within three months of meeting the 37-year-old actress through mutual friends. Here Letitia talks about love, having children and PMS...

TV Stars are under constant pressure to look good - how do you cope with that?
I don't really feel any pressure, probably because I'm more content these days. So I look bigger on camera? Well, I know I do-but that's life! I might think about getting down to a size 6, but quite frankly I'd be miserable. I have to be realistic - I know I couldn't maintain it. And how boring would it be if we all looked the same? There are some beautiful girls on Eastenders, but we wouldn't be in Walford if we all looked like models - we'd be on that plane to New York!

But you obviously care about how you look...
Of course I do. I like to look good and I dress up and put on make-up if I go out, but generally I prefer not to wear it when I'm relaxing at home. And that's usually when I'm spotted by the paparazzi - it's always when I'm doing something like taking the rubbish out. If I was dressed head to toe in Versace, I couldn't find a photographer if I tried. Over the years there have been many pictures of me looking as rough as a bear that I'm philosophic about it - I think, what's another one?

Working on Eastenders is relentless - are you good at switching off at the end of the day?
Jay's brilliant at making me switch off. Sometimes he'll let me have a 10-minute rant when I get in from work - but then that's it, no more.

Yours was a bit of a whirlwind romance wasn't it?
My husband proposed within a few months of our meeting. We met in June 2001 and got engaged that August. But we took out time and didn't get married for another year. I'd never lived with anyone before Jay, but it just felt right.

What do you do to relax?
I'm a homebody. It's how I know I'm getting middle-aged! Clubbing's the last thing I'd want to do. These days, I prefer dinner parties. We have a circle of friends we like to see, but I can't actually give the dinner parties because I can't cook.

Are you a DIY fan?
When I was single, every time I got premenstrual the brushes would come out and I'd paint a wall. But my husband soon put a stop to that. Jay has the most stunning taste. We live in the flat where he lived before we got married. It's all neutral, stone and deep greens - very soothing. He knows when I get twitchy I start to think a bit of purple would look good - so he tells me it's time to go out.

You seem very content with life at the moment - is that from being with Jay?
I've been quite happy to wave goodbye to the single life, but we're all different creatures, so what's right for me isn't going to be right for others. I think I've found what suits me. I feel I'm at that stage in my life where it's time to think about things like whether or not we're going to have children and to take stock a little.

So what's the main difference Jay has made to your life?
We've got an awful lot in common and we're comfortable together - although if you asked him, he'd probably say, 'she's a nightmare - very neurotic around the house!'. He's brought a lot of joy to my life really. He's a good man and he understands all of this. I feel very safe with him.

How did you get started in showbusiness?
My parents weren't showbusiness parents at all. It started because my brother Stephen and I both went to a dance school in the village where we lived. Then Stephen went to stage school and so did I, just because my big brother was doing it. The rest is history.

We Eastenders your first TV role?
My first appearance was in Brookside in 1984, just before Eastenders began. I was 16 when we started filming Eastenders and my contract was initially for eight weeks - none of us had any idea it would go on for so long. I nearly fainted when I saw Wendy Richard (Pauline) for the first time, because she was a really big name and I was in awe of her. Anita Dobson, who played Angie Watts, my mum, took me under her wing.

You were born in Hertfordshire - but didn’t Eastenders insist that only genuine Cockney’s apply?
Oh I lied! I invented some story about my parents being abroad and living with an auntie in Hackney. I was born in Hertfordshire, in a cottage my parents rented on Barbara Cartland’s estate, although I never met her. Then we moved to Buckinghamshire and then to London when I was about 13. So the Cockney thing was a bit of a stretch really.