The cold open of this week’s “Saturday Night Live” brought in host Amy Poehler and her BFF Tina Fey to play Pam Bondi and Kristi Noem, respectively.
The sketch began by portraying part of Bondi’s controversial Senate hearing this week, where the United States Attorney General was grilled and cagey about topics such as the Jeffrey Epstein files.
When asked if Trump directed her to indict James Comey, the AG was noncompliant.
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“I’m not going to discuss my private conversations with the president,” Poehler as Bondi said. “I’m not telling you who fell asleep in the middle of a sentence, or who kept calling me Ivanka while patting his lap.”
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She also discussed the Jeffrey Epstein files, saying, “I tried reading the Epstein files, but I got really bored. It’s so repetitive. ‘Trump this, Trump that.’ Yawn.”
Soon enough, Fey’s Noem entered, complete with an automatic weapon.
“That’s right, it’s me, Kristi,” Noem said during her entrance. “I spell my name with an ‘I’ because that’s how I thought it was spelled.”
Also, Noem gave some insight into the hiring process for ICE, as Fey revealed, “How did I find them? By running ads like this: Do you need a job now? Yeah. Are you a big, tough guy? Yeah. Tough enough for the army or police? No. Do you take supplements that you bought at a gas station? Daily. Do you like to use zip ties because people in your life don’t trust you with keys? You know it. Suck on some of these, big boy. Welcome to ICE.”
Noem also spoke to her much-discussed dog-shooting scandal, saying, “That makes me laugh more than the end of ‘Old Yeller.'” and “Dogs don’t just get shot — a hero shoots them.”
Watch the cold open below.