Month: September 2015

Transcendence

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“I would never be able to survive without Beh with me. I wouldn’t even want to live if she were no longer here.”

I have a lot of love for this book. 

Let’s be real here, not a lot happens in this story. 

There is practically no dialogue.

The romance is a slow burn.

And the ending took a weird ass turn.

But you know what? I don’t care. 

This book was wonderful. 

“I didn’t understand how lonely I had been until I had her.”

The love story in this, Ehd’s internal musings about Beh and how wonderful she is, tugged on my heartstrings so hard.

I had a smile on my face for the first 70% of this. Ehd is hilarious. The way he learns and adapts to Beh and what she wants and needs is hilarious. The way he always wants to “put a baby” in Beh is funny and his joy when he finally succeeds is just adorable. 

“I also hope that by then she will let me mate with her because spending the winter trying to give her a baby is something I really want to do.”

Speaking of “putting a baby” in Beh, FAR OUT these sexy scenes were amazing. I salute you, Shay Savage, you sure do have a way with sexy words. 

The last 30% took a more somber turn and I was an ugly crying mess at the very end. I haven’t cried that hard since the first time I watched The Notebook. This gave me all the feels.

I’m docking half a star because the explanation as to how Beh got there seemed to come out of the blue and the end of the story was a little rushed for my liking, but I could barely see the pages through my tears by that stage so I’m not judging too harshly. 

I loved this.

I want to read it again and again. Caveman luuuurve is a winner in my eyes. 

4.5 luffs-khizz Stars


“I wonder what I will do if she doesn’t wake up, and I don’t have an answer. As I lie back down next to her and pull her into my arms, my stomach growls and suddenly I know what I will do. If she doesn’t wake up, then I will just lie here with her until I don’t wake up either.”

Black Iris

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“I’ve tried so many ways to be normal. I just want to be myself for a little while.”
This one hit me hard.

I actually had to take a break somewhere in the middle of reading it, because some of the deep, dark, filthy, dirty stuff that Laney thinks, does, and regrets, echoed so deeply within my own soul that I had to look away for a minute to put myself back together.

This is not an easy book to read. It is not an easy book to experience. It is not an easy book to review.


“You’re the last bright thing left in this world.” 


There is nothing inherently likeable about this book. There is nothing inherently enjoyable about this book either. It’s like watching a bloody car wreck, you watch these characters make horrible decisions, break people and things and destroy themselves, and yet it is so vivid you can’t bear to look away. And yet even with all this despair and destruction, there are these stunning glimpses into the human condition, love, life and this place we call the world.


“There’s something inside me that spins too fast. Sometimes it makes me crazy.”

The writing in this was positively poetic. It was incredibly evocative and brutally beautiful. There were often entire passages that were quote worthy, and hit so close to home that it often made me wonder if Leah Reader was sitting inside my brain watching the way things were working in there and transcribing what was going on.


“Falling for someone is like pulling a loose thread. It happens stitch by stitch.”

This book, simply put, is a mind fuck. It deals with depression, mental illness, sexuality and gender identity, substance abuse along with a myriad of other hard hitting and heavy topics. But it never makes light of any of them. It acknowledges how big these issues are, how broken we are, how broken the world is and paints a picture of one fractured soul trying to claw her way out of a dark hole and make herself something better and overcome the circumstances that she finds herself in.


“When you touch me it feels so cold. As if you’re touching a chess piece, thinking about your next move.”
“I am, you’re the white knight.”

There was an ominous sense of foreboding in this from the very first page, but this was a riveting read that touched me more deeply than I think I can possibly express. It’s messed up, it’s crazy, it’s stupid, it’s psychotic, it’s wonderful and I think even if it is tough to do so, it is something that everyone should experience.

“Suffering is the only honest response to this life.”

I am not giving full marks here, purely because I am not a poetry lover and sometimes found the poetry geekage a little overwhelming and this caused me to have a disconnect with this story, these characters and this world. That is my only criticism, however.

This is a book that smiles at you, while it is stabbing you in the back. It gave me all the feelings. Proceed with caution, but please, proceed.

4.5 nothing-hurts-more-than-being-alive Stars

Endgame

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I have been sitting on this for a few days, trying to sort out my feelings and I’m still a big ball of I don’t know what the hell just happened?
Mountain View

This story focuses on Volera, a young woman who is living in a dystopian world and is paid to play this world’s version of video games. These games are fully immersive and interactive and you are connected to electrodes and all sorts of weird other things while you play. Sounds like a dream, right? Well why does Vol keep blacking out? Who is the mysterious new Moderator of play and why does he seem so interested in her? What is going on?

Does anyone remember the movie Existenz? That is the vibe I got from this book from the very beginning.

First things first, I have had this book on my to-read list for ages, and although I was doing my Indie August Challenge, this book completely slipped my mind and I jumped into Fearscape as my pick of Nenia’s for this challenge. But when Seanilicious added this and I realized I could fit another book into my challenge, I did exactly that. But I am sad to say that unlike my love of Fearscape (and Gavin, especially Gavin) this was not a hit for me.

Let’s make a shit sandwich shall we?

The bottom slice of bread:

Catan. Oh Catan! Yep. I’ll have one of him please. Nenia, you write such wonderfully mysterious, dick-ish and yet loveable male leads.


“Since you are so intent on not engaging me in our world, I’m going to pursue you in yours.”

Vol and Catan’s interactions were often hilarious and had me laughing out loud. Vol’s wit is fantastic and she uses it to her advantage.


“You wouldn’t say that if you knew who I am”
“Trust me, I’ve seen an asshole before.”

The filling of the sandwich:

This had many spelling, grammar and editing errors that slipped through the cracks. I can let some slide, but these were numerous enough to annoy me.

I found that the beginnings of the game play sequences were a little long winded. Sure, when playing a game you will be taking a look around and checking out your surroundings, but most of the time I thought the descriptions were a little excessive.

There was also a bit of… what I will call Maze Runner-itis. There were several words that were used to describe characters without us having anything to reference them against. It’s all well and good to say things about a Selmerian character, but what does a Selmerian look like, and what traits does a Meridian have that a Bastani does not? I had trouble actually picturing the characters in my head because of this.

The top slice of bread:


Nenia is an excellent writer of tension. The foreboding feeling of this really gave me a sense of urgency to get to the end to figure out what was happening. It kept me turning the pages and engaged.

BUT – That ending. Nope. Nope. Nope. Information overload. Too much, too late. Nope. Did not enjoy. It didn’t feel finished.

Overall, this was interesting and engaging but it had its flaws. I won’t be continuing this series, I’ll stick to the Horrorscape series instead, because that is much more my style.

3 break-my-heart-Catan Stars


“I’m giving you until I finish my drink to change your mind.”
“And then?”
“We see if your heart can stand to be broken a little more.”

Thanks for the buddy read Seanilicious A.K.A The Wizard Of Schnoz!

I’m friends with Nenia on Goodreads, this has in no way affected my rating.