Signs | Pornography | Sexting | Get Help

Unhealthy relationships can be characterized by power imbalances, dishonesty and/or disrespect. They can also include behaviors that make someone feel afraid or monitored. There is a fine line between “unhealthy relationships” and “abusive or toxic relationships”. Any of the below signs is a red flag for an unhealthy relationship and if the behavior is bad enough, it could be instead categorized as an abusive or toxic one, or even sexual exploitation. Learn more about Abusive/Toxic Relationships and Sexual Exploitation Dangers. 

Signs

Here are some signs of unhealthy relationships:

• Power imbalance
• One partner making all the decisions, being unreasonably jealous, or trying to isolate the other partner from friends/family
• Disrespect
• Partners insulting, yelling, putting down, or making fun of thier partner or their friends/family
• Partners stalking, sending unwanted gifts, tracking what the other does online, damaging or threatening the other’s property or people (this can cross into criminal behavior)
• Partners guilting the other or pressuring them into doing things they’re uncomfortable with
• Parntners demanding access to the other’s phone or social media accounts

People of all ages, backgrounds, sexes, and genders wind up in unhealthy relationships, sometimes through no fault of their own. These behaviors can very easily cross over into category of Abusive/Toxic Relationships. 

If you recognize any of the signs above, consider it a warning and seek help from a counselor, trusted adult or someone at a helpline if the behavior gets worse. Everyone deserves healthy relationships.  Some helplines are listed below.

Pornography

Being curious about sex and sexuality is normal. Many young people (and people in general) turn to the internet to learn about sexuality and as a result, come across a huge amount of online pornography. Studies show that pornography harms children, adolescents and teens and may be a contributing factor in an unhealthy relationship.

Pornography is NOT a realistic depiction of sex or sexuality, and is often an extreme exaggeration of sexual activity with no resemblance to a normal, healthy relationship. It is important to recognize that pornography can lead to very unrealistic expectations of sex and sexual partners, as well as distorted beliefs and perceptions about relationships and sexuality.

It’s important to keep in mind that pornography is entirely fictional with actors portraying characters and is not in any way sex education or a tutorial on how to relate to a partner in a consensual and mutually enjoyable way. Bodies in pornography are typically not bodies you’d find in real life because they have been enhanced digitally or through cosmetic processes, including surgery.

Pornography is especially harmful in the way it portrays women and girls. It typically does not incorporate consent, which is absolutely crucial in healthy relationships, even beyond sex. Hardcore pornography can be especially violent and portray actual criminal behavior, with a whopping 97% of the violence in porn aimed at women (culturereframed.org).

Some young people (and people in general) also experience addiction to online pornography, which like other unhealthy addictions, can have negative impacts on relationships with friends, family, and partners.

If you or someone you know is struggling with a porn addiction, please seek help from a trusted adult or contact the Rhode Island 24-hour Helpline at 1-800-494-8100.

Sexting

Sexting refers to sharing digital messages that are sexual in nature, often involving sharing naked or sexual images with another person. In Rhode Island, sexting is a status offense, meaning it is an activity that is illegal for persons under age 18 to engage in, but does not result in criminal charges and is referred to Family Court. If you are being forced or “talked into” sending images of yourself to your partner, you are in an unhealthy relationship. 

You may not think of the longer term consequences of sexting but it is important to think about before you hit “send”. Sending pictures is not reversible – you cannot get your pictures back once they are gone. And you have no control over people sharing your photos. Will the person you shared them with share them with others without your consent? Will they end up on social media? Will other friends, family or teachers see them eventually after they’ve been shared? All of these situations are very possible.

The person you shared the pictures with may not even be the one to share them – someone else could get access to their phone, or their phone could be lost or stolen, and then a stranger could have access to share your pictures.

Don’t share naked or sexual images unprompted, and never share an image someone else has shared with you. Do not share naked or sexual images of yourself if you feel like you are being forced or are uncomfortable in any way. You have the right to say no to any form of sexual behavior, including sexting.

Sharing naked or sexual images of someone under 18 (a “minor”) goes beyond sexting and can be classified as “dissemination of child pornography” EVEN IF YOU BOTH AGREED and comes with serious criminal charges and potential sex offender registry.

Learn more about Abusive/Toxic Relationships.