I thought a second child would be straightforward – IVF was anything but

Jen Walpole

Published February 1, 2026 2:00pm Updated February 2, 2026 11:31am

‘Another embryo transfer has failed.’

Those words landed heavily between my husband and I.

At the end of 2024, I found myself facing a reality I had been dreading since we began our IVF journey. I felt guilt that I might not be able to give our son a sibling, and grief as I watched others announce second pregnancies.

I knew that unless we tried IVF again with a different approach, I would never be able to fully close the door, so we decided to try one last time. We went to see a new consultant and transferred our last two embryos to his clinic.

Our first fertility journey began in 2020. After months of trying to conceive, I visited my GP, who ran comprehensive blood tests, and my results all came back normal. But my husband was referred for a semen analysis, which highlighted significant issues that required further investigation.

We learned that genetic and significant male factor issues meant natural conception was not possible. IVF was our only option.

I was 36, so we did not have time to wait for an NHS referral, which could take a minimum of 6 months. Instead, we pursued private care, focusing on optimising egg and sperm quality through lifestyle changes, such as diet, supplementation and acupuncture.

After one unsuccessful transfer in 2021, our second frozen transfer was successful, and our son was born in April 2022.

It had felt like such a distant goal out of our grasp. So, when it finally happened, it was the most wonderful feeling. Our first IVF journey was quite straightforward, and we didn’t experience the pain of loss.

When our son turned two, my husband and I decided to return to IVF to grow our family. I come from a mixed British/Cypriot heritage where family is central to everything. Growing up as one of three siblings, we are all very close.

Those treasured memories of holidays and mischief made it important to us to give our son a sibling, so he could have these experiences.

With five embryos frozen from our original cycle in 2020, it felt more like a question of timing rather than possibility.

Although I was now 40 and my husband was 41 when we decided to do our second transfer, we weren’t worried. Our embryos were frozen and we could rely on various technologies to help.

But our worst nightmares came true as each embryo transfer failed. It was heartbreaking.

Our third transfer in 2024 resulted in a pregnancy, but it was later confirmed as a chemical pregnancy – which is a very early miscarriage.

I was utterly devastated. With only two embryos left, the fear and panic of not being able to conceive again set in. We were at the mercy of the IVF process, so much was out of our control.

As a registered fertility nutritionist at Bliss Clinic in Chelsea, I had built relationships with specialists I trusted. So we undertook immune testing before transferring our final two embryos to a new clinic.

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Immune testing looked at various factors that can impact the implantation of an embryo. A biopsy highlighted that I had a ‘mixed immune profile’ which created an inflammatory environment in the uterus, not supportive of implantation.

Unfortunately, our penultimate transfer in December 2024 did not result in a pregnancy and I ended the year at an emotional low point.

I reflected on how the year had played out and how tough it had been. It had taken a toll on my emotional wellbeing as I had shrunk my social life and believed my stress was the reason I had not been successful with IVF, which was not true.

Christmas and New Year is a time when Instagram is often flooded with pregnancy announcements and this added to my feeling of failure and emptiness.

I deactivated my Instagram account and booked a follow-up call with our consultant. I made a promise to myself that 2025 was going to be different – no matter the outcome, I was going to focus on joy.

I never truly considered giving up. Expanding our family meant everything to us.

With any fertility journey, the emotional toll can be gruelling, social connection, doing things that bring joy and support emotional wellbeing are just as important as diet. Mindset coaching also helped me move forward and build resilience.

I leaned into the things I could control. I booked a yoga retreat with a friend, a work trip to Paris, facials here and there. I said yes to many work opportunities that came my way, and focused on staying present rather than projecting far ahead.

My husband and I removed alcohol, and watched what we ate, which I believe was beneficial.

We transferred our very last remaining embryo in October 2025, and miraculously, I am now finally pregnant.

But, the trauma of all the losses and setbacks did not disappear with that positive pregnancy test. IVF is rarely a quick fix, and patience is essential.

So I was grateful to discover Carea, a pregnancy and postpartum wellbeing app that became an important support.

Find out more about Carea

Carea, is designed to support women’s physical, mental and emotional health before, during and after pregnancy and birth.

Carea offers practical tools that help women feel informed, supported and less alone, and provides a community for women and families.

For more information and support, you can visit https://www.careaapp.com/

For anyone navigating secondary infertility or trying to conceive over the age of 40, my advice is to seek support early, prioritise physical and mental health and hold onto hope.

My husband and I have started preparing the baby’s room and talking to our son about his sibling to get him ready for their arrival. He is very excited.

I’m most looking forward to introducing the baby, who is due in June, to our son.