No-one mourns the wicked. That’s what Ariana Grande recently taught us in an epic musical. However, what’s true in the Wonderful World of Oz isn’t necessarily true in Soapland.
As a script writer with over a decade’s experience working in British soap, I can tell you that everyone mourns the wicked – if the producers do their jobs.
Who doesn’t yearn for the halcyon days of Coronation Street when Richard Hilman (Brian Capron) drove the terrified Platt family into the canal?
Who wasn’t a teeny bit disappointed to see Archie Mitchell’s (Larry Lamb) reign of terror in EastEnders finally end with a bust of Queen Vic to the back of the head?
Who doesn’t wish Meena Jutla (Paige Sandhu) would break out of prison and kill a few more Emmerdale villagers?
Of course, it’s very easy to get bad wrong. Remember Gavin Sullivan (Paul Nicholas) who EastEnders teased would make Archie look like a ‘a teddy bear’, only to be arrested and killed off-screen after a damp squib debut?
Then there’s Jez Blake (Jeremy Sheffield), whose chaotic killing spree in Hollyoaks never quite lived up to the iconic villainy of his twin brother Patrick Blake (Jeremy Sheffield).
How does bad go wrong? Simple. Too much of a good thing.
Either the villain outstays their welcome because the story drags on for too long, or there’s simply too many ne’er-do-wells running around at once.
Bad guy fatigue is real, and it’s something which is sadly afflicting Soapland right now.
Coronation Street’s villains
Take Corrie. Their rogue’s gallery is jam-packed with manipulative Megan Walsh (Beth Nixon), coercive controlling narcissist Theo Silverton (James Cartwright), secret killer Maggie Driscoll (Pauline McLynn) and no-good cheating gaslighter Carl Webster (Jonathan Howard).
No sooner did they put bunny-boiling bad cop Becky Swain (Amy Cudden) behind bars, along comes Jodie Ramsay (Olivia Frances-Bowen) to plot revenge against her sister Shona Platt (Julia Goulding). Corrie’s got more schemers in the show than a Traitors round table – and fans are not happy.
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Diehard viewers have taken to the Metro Soap Facebook page to voice their displeasure over Jodie’s arrival. ‘God forbid a nice relative would turn up without a sinister motive’ writes Heather Mills (no, not that one).
Anthony Fagan writes ‘Can’t we have happy characters in it? No hidden agendas. No masterplans. No hidden blood relations. No hidden issues from a troubled upbringing. Just normal everyday people who just want to live a normal happy life. That would be a real breath of fresh air.’
Sounds riveting. I can already see endless footage of people being nice to each other. It’s called Bake Off.
However, Anthony raises a fair point. It’s all about balance. Soap baddies aren’t like buses. You shouldn’t be waiting around for one forever only for twelve to turn up at the same time. Bad is good – as long as its properly scheduled.
Emmerdale’s baddies
Emmerdale has the opposite problem. They’ve just got rid of all their brilliant villains at the same time!
Ruthless people traffickers Celia Daniels (Jaye Griffiths) and Ray Walters (Joe Absolom) were probably the most chillingly realistic gangster ever seen on Soap.
John Sugden (Oliver Farnworth), the murderer with a twisted hero complex, is as grounded as serial killers get and Emmerdale made a bold decision to have his return coincide with the comeback of Kev Towsend (Christopher Coghill), the delightfully damaged prison Hubbie of Robert Sugden (Ryan Hawley). Problem is, they all departed in short succession.
Who’s left? Well, there’s village bad boy Cain Dingle (Jeff Hordley), arch schemer Kim Tate (Claire King) and her devious step-grandson Joe Tate (Ned Porteous). Not to mention the black-hearted brooder Graham Foster (Andrew Scarborough) back from the dead. Here’s the problem – they’re all too damn likeable.
Some villains are too good to lose. Every soap has regulars that often take a walk on the dark side without crossing the line between bad and evil. Murder the odd victim? On your way, you scallywag. Just don’t do it again. Participate in modern slavery? Sorry, Celia. Some things you just can’t come back from.
What about the villains in Walford?
EastEnders are good at walking that line between bad and evil. Right now, all their villains exist in shades of grey. W
hether its Max Branning (Jake Wood) pressing the self-destruct button on his family, Ravi Gulati (Aaron Thiara) being literally driven to madness by a vengeful Nicola (Laura Doddington) and Harry Mitchell (Elijah Holloway), or Ian Beale (Adam Woodyatt) trying to torpedo his flirty frenemy Elaine Peacock’s (Harriet) business venture – there are no villains here.
Just complicated people doing bad things for believable reasons.
That works. It’s real. But it lacks that certain gleeful wickedness that drives audiences wild. Even Jasmine Fisher’s (Indeyarna Donaldson-Holness) murder of her father Anthony Trueman (Nicolas Bailey) felt too conflicted to truly enjoy.
Especially because her mum Zoe Slater (Michelle) Ryan is taking the fall.
Albert Square has been home to some clear, unequivocal, out and out wrong-uns who have given EastEnders some of its most memorable moments. Deranged preacher Lucas Johnson (Don Gilet).
Sleazy criminal Derek Branning (Jamie Foreman). And of course, the OG, Dirty Den Watts (Leslie Grantham). Does Walford need real monsters again?
Hollyoaks have had their fair share of baddies as well
Recently, Hollyoaks had a similar predicament. Making Grace Black (Tamara Wall) the villain of their teenage sex trafficking story was a ballsy move. Giving the classic character a tragic death at the hands of her sister Clare Devine (Gemma Bissex) was ballsier still.
Trying to redeem someone who made money profiting from the misery of children would have completely undermined the issue story they so expertly told. Sometimes, pushing a character to breaking point means losing them.
That’s certainly a risk Hollyoaks is taking with Lucas Hay’s (Oscar Curtis) child-to-parent abuse of his dad Ste Hay (Kieron Richardson). But the bigger the risk, the bigger the story…
I’ve worked as a script writer in British soap for over a decade. Want to know why there are so many morally dubious characters running around Walford, Weatherfield and Emmerdale? Here’s the tea – they’re easy to write.
Every time a character was struggling onscreen, I can’t tell you how often a writer would try to save them at story conference with three magic words – make them evil.
After all, bad guys have more fun because bad is easier to act. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t. What it did do was give us clear, organised chapters.
Mister Nasty wreaks havoc, Mister Nasty dies or gets caught, Mister Nasty drops bombshell before they go. We wish real life was that simple. It’s why we watch.
Sometimes, the best villains are the ones you can’t see. The Emmerdale story which I’m most looking forward to is Cain’s upcoming prostate cancer battle. Why? Because the deadliest Dingle is finally facing an enemy he can’t punch away.
Same goes for Debbie Webster (Sue Devaney). I have far more appetite to see her battle against vascular dementia than I do for another round of ‘How will Carl Webster mistreat his sister/mum now?’ But we can’t have one without the other.
We all want our favourite characters to be happy all the time. Only we don’t. Because villains are why we love the heroes so much. Didn’t we fall in love with Yasmeen Khan (Shelley King) for the way she stood to the controlling bully Geoff Metcalfe (Ian Bartholomew)?
Weren’t we willing to forgive Robert Sugden his many atrocities against Aaron Dingle (Danny Miller) because his psychopathic brother John was so much worse? Villains are the spice that makes our daily dose of Soap so delicious.
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Are there too many villains in soap? I don’t think you can ever have too many. I just don’t think they should all turn up at once. Maybe soften the odd one or two.
That’s what I’m hoping for Coronation Street’s Jodie Ramsay. She’s no two-dimensional villain. Her reasons to resent Shona for abandoning her as a child make her complex and conflicted.
Here’s hoping her stint as cuckoo in the nest over at the Platt Homestead leaves Shona and David (Jack P Shepherd) closer than ever. After that, who knows? Maybe Shona will stick around and turn over a new leaf.
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I doubt it though. As Elphaba tells us, no good deed goes unpunished…
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