5 telltale signs that reveal you’re a bad kisser — and what makes you a good one

Charlie Sawyer

Published January 23, 2026 11:02am Updated January 23, 2026 11:02am

When it comes to kissing, there’s always room for improvement (Picture: Getty Images)

Most of us will experience at least one or two truly awful snogs in our lifetime. It’s almost like a rite of passage.

Whether it’s too much teeth, an awkward to-me-to-you foot shuffle that ends in bruised toes, or an aggressive tongue searching for cavities, not every make-out session is one to remember.

And while these mishaps are usually a case of practice makes perfect, some people might be in need of a quick refresher course.

To preface, this isn’t intended to shame anyone for their kissing technique. We all excel in different areas, and the art of sucking face is teachable, provided you’re open to acknowledging that there’s room for improvement.

Plus, everyone’s after something different, and nerves or social anxiety can play a big role in whether or not a smooch is successful.

As a rule of thumb though, if you can relate to any of these five things, it might be worth going back to the drawing board.

You’re stood like a penguin

Annabelle Knight, couples coach, psychosexual therapist and Lovehoney’s resident relationship expert, tells Metro: ‘A kiss should be so much more than two lips meeting; it should involve the closeness of bodies, the holding of one another and hands exploring each other.’

‘If you find yourself in a position where you’re ‘penguin kissing’ – i.e. hands down by the sides – then you’re not doing anyone any favours.’

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Young woman embracing boyfriend at home — Kissing involves your entire body, not just your lips (Picture: Getty Images/Maskot)

Her advice is to quite literally ‘get a grip’, which may mean stroking your partner’s face, running your hands through their hair, or wrapping your arms round their waist or neck — whatever comes naturally given the situation.

The only penguins in sight should in that David Attenborough documentary playing in the background on TV while you snog.

There’s no reciprocation

‘It goes without saying that kissing should be consensual,’ Annabelle emphasises. ‘But if you can feel your partner trying to pull away from a smooch early, then I’m afraid it could be because you’re a bad kisser.’

This one is tricky, because someone pulling away could mean a hundred different things — it might even be a little move they pull to keep you wanting more.

However, if you’re dating a new partner and find that they regularly break away from your kisses, it’s worth having a think about why that is.

‘Try to match your rhythm and speed to theirs,’ Annabelle adds. ‘This might help prevent such a scenario.’

Couple about to kiss, close up — You should be able to gauge whether or not your partner is into it (Picture: Getty Images)

You have dry or hard lips

It’s that time of year where are lips are going through the wars, with cold weather and dry central heating.

But while ‘nobody can help getting dry or hard lips on occasion,’ Annabelle warns: ‘If you’re not taking care of this, then you’re likely not going to be picked as the best kisser.’

Male or female, and whether you prefer fruit-flavoured products or basic medicated ones, you should ‘always have a trusty lip balm on hand to keep your lips soft and puckered.’

An abrupt ending

If there’s regular and vocal consent on both sides, someone ending a kiss all of a sudden might be a signal your skills need some sharpening.

Woman keeping distance and rejecting a man while having a date together in a park. — This can be a truly traumatising experience, but just know, you’re not alone (Picture: Getty Images)

Annabelle explains: ‘If either yourself or your partner abruptly pulls away from a kiss, then it’s likely something has gone wrong.

‘Knowing how to maintain contact and chemistry when your lips aren’t touching is a skill of a good kisser, so learn this if you want to remedy your mistake.’

It’s possible this could also indicate they’re simply not the right person for you; so if you’re continually struggling to connect romantically – which includes locking lips – you may want to consider your compatibility as a couple.

You ‘mime’ the other person

Last but not least, remember: if they go left, you go right.

‘In an ideal kissing situation, you and your partner are perfectly in sync, mirroring each other’s moves on the opposite side, to ensure your lips meet and there’s no head-butting or teeth bashing,’ Annabelle shares.

‘If, when going in for a kiss, it feels like there is a mime opposite you, leaning the same way, then this is going to kill the moment.’

Her advice? ‘Take control of the situation to assert yourself as a good kisser, and make sure you’re in sync with your partner.’

It’s a kiss people, not a performance in the middle of Trafalgar Square. Reciprocation, not duplication.

With a bit of research and a can-do attitude, anyone can be a good kisser. And if your partner isn’t picking up what you’re putting down, there’s no shame in asking for some tailored advice.