The Traitors aired one of the most pivotal LGBTQ+ moments imaginable to an audience of over 10 million viewers last week, when Matthew and Stephen embraced with a hug, bonding over their shared trauma.
At the dinner party, Stephen shared that he had spent much of his life desperate to be something else – anything but gay. ‘I hated myself. I lost my teenage years trying to pray myself normal. For the longest time, I’ve just really not liked who I am,’ he told his fellow contestants.
Now, he’s entering 2026 as a national sweetheart, adored by millions for having a genuine heart of gold while also mercilessly killing off his best mates as a Traitor.
He was sitting beside Matthew, who shared that he’s been engaged to his partner since Covid and wants to use the prize money to finally have the gay wedding they’ve longed for.
Matthew has also previously accused his home church in Northern Ireland of pressuring him to undergo conversion therapy while he was ‘wrestling with a growing awareness’ of his sexuality and was made to believe it would lead to ‘eternal damnation’.
It was a real gut-punch – one that will no doubt resonate with much of the queer community of all ages, religious or atheist, watching at home.
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I wept. I wept at two men who have both come so far in their respective queer journeys, and at the fact that here we are, on one of the biggest shows on television, reaching unthinkably huge audiences, witnessing such a poignant queer moment.
It was being shown to millions of viewers who perhaps wouldn’t be familiar with the experience Stephen shared so bravely with strangers.
But the response from many viewers I saw on social media was disappointing, to put it mildly.
Instead of celebrating a platonic moment between two gay men who have endured years of self-loathing and internalised homophobia, many fans immediately assumed Stephen and Matthew were hiding another secret: that they’re a couple.
It doesn’t take much effort to look at their respective social media accounts to know they both have different partners – and did when filming The Traitors last summer.
Of course, speculation about a supposed secret affair is relatively harmless in comparison to the homophobic bile the queer community is subjected to on X, where we’re regularly accused of being predators, of wanting to brainwash children with a ‘gay agenda’, and are called unrepeatable slurs that go completely unpunished on Elon Musk’s deteriorating platform.
However, at the very least, it’s still a sign that we’re still wildly misunderstood.
This season, The Traitors has introduced a ‘Family Tree’, which many predict will reveal that every contestant is somehow linked, and we suspect there could be another big twist coming, with a second secret envelope on Uncloaked teasing that something huge could be exposed later down the line.
This may explain in part the audience’s willingness to read more into the situation than is actually there.
Even so, queer friendship is so often overlooked and underestimated, so it’s a shame that two gay men still can’t show affection for each other without the assumption they must be a couple.
Perhaps it’s not surprising, when so little of it is shown outside of queer-focused television like Drag Race or Heartstopper.
Until Rylan Clark and Rob Rinder hosted their travel series together in 2023, I’m not sure I’d ever seen an LGBTQ+ double act presenting primetime television. Even then, they too were plagued by rumours about their relationship.
It still seemed unfathomable that two gay men could simply be friends – as though we’re too horny to exist in the same vicinity as another gay man without wanting to take them to bed.
It’s partly why I didn’t realise quite how important queer friendship would be until I was already in my 30s.
I hadn’t seen the unique bond between gay friends, or how much it matters to have people in your life who have experienced the same trauma, still navigate the specific perils of gay dating, and have, by and large, rejected the same heteronormative values I have.
It wasn’t until my straight friends began branching off to have children and raise families that I began to understand how vital those friendships would be, and to realise that I already had all the family I’d ever want in my friendships.
Now, it’s a priority of mine to nurture existing queer friendships and actively seek out new ones – much like Stephen and Matthew have done on The Traitors.
I’m incredibly fortunate to have strong support from straight allies, but none of them could hug me the way Matthew hugged Stephen around that table and, without saying a word, communicate: I’ve been there, and I love you.
It’s rarely spoken about, but The Traitors has a phenomenal ability to showcase representation and undervalued perspectives in a truly organic way, without disrupting the show’s unbeatable entertainment value.
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This series also included Jessie, who has a stammer and was by far one of the smartest contestants in the game, even if she wasn’t listened to enough by her fellow Faithfuls – which, in itself, is an important conversation to be had.
Hopefully, watching the bond between Stephen and Matthew marks the beginning of queer friendships being celebrated on primetime television in a truly monumental way.
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The Traitors returns tonight at 8pm on BBC One and BBC iPlayer.
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