I was at a choir rehearsal when I looked at my phone and noticed I had received over 150 WhatsApp messages in a matter of minutes.
Clearly, something monumental was happening outside of this church, and I had to know what it was.
Soon, I knew why – an epic Beckham family feud has finally spilled into the open, and if, like me, you are captivated by every article, every tweet, every meme, then you are entirely justified.
In an absolutely astonishing attack, Brooklyn Beckham has single-handedly made the world stand still with a string of Instagram stories that torpedo his family.
These stories come completely unfiltered, direct from the source, after years of speculation about the very obvious rift within Team Beckham.
Among the alarming accusations aimed at his ‘controlling’ family are claims that they tried to ruin his relationship with his wife, Nicola Peltz; that Victoria ‘hijacked’ the first dance at their wedding by dancing ‘inappropriately’ with him; and that she called him ‘evil’ during an argument over seating arrangements.
I am seated. This is extraordinary honesty from inside Camp Beckham – something we have never seen before – and it renders the family, blessed with such inconceivable talent and wealth, suddenly, unmistakably human.
We’ve spent so long idolising the Beckhams that to have one of their own tell us it’s that their careful facade has been a lie is an extraordinary cultural moment, whether you’re a regular showbiz news reader or not.
I haven’t met anyone who doesn’t have an opinion on the feud.
For some, Brooklyn is an ungrateful twerp who was happy to enjoy his parents’ millions and the opportunities that came with them before torching the whole family.
For others, like me, he’s been exploited to help build and preserve ‘Brand Beckham’ his whole life, and it’s no surprise whatsoever that this devastating blow is the consequence.
Whether you’re Team Brooklyn or Team Beckham – there is no way to ‘both sides’ this argument – it’s no wonder we’re so captivated by the fallout.
We’ve seen this story play out before, in very recent memory.
Are you on Team Brooklyn or Brand Beckham in this family drama?
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Team Brooklyn - speaking his truth
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Team Beckham - preserving their family image
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Both sides have valid points
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Neither, they should resolve it privately
Before Bexit, there was Megxit. Like Prince Harry, Brooklyn was thrust into the spotlight without his consent. The Beckhams have often felt like Britain’s de facto second Royal Family (don’t forget David is now a Knight), and this latest soap opera is worthy of any statement Meghan Markle has made.
Not since Wagatha Christie has the public’s attention been so overwhelmingly captured, and it’s little surprise.
After all, a little salaciousness is a welcome distraction when reality is realitying.
The cost of living crisis is out of control, President Trump is on a rampage, we’ve been teetering on the brink of World War Three since Putin invaded Ukraine, and the death toll in Gaza stands at over 73,000 people (and counting).
I could go on. This is, by far, the most overwhelmed many of us have ever been by the state of the world.
So if we find respite from the relentless bad news by investing ourselves in the Beckham family feud, so be it.
We’ve had celebrity drama before, but never with a family this ingrained in our collective consciousness.
I can barely remember a time when Sir David and Lady Victoria (as they now are) didn’t rule over Britain’s cultural landscape like a showbiz monarchy.
We watched the world’s greatest footballer fall in love with one-fifth of the greatest pop group in the world, get married in garish outfits neither of them would be caught dead in today, and welcome their first child, Brooklyn, who began life as the most famous foetus in the world outside of an actual royal.
The Beckham family have spent every waking day since Victoria and David met in 1997 perfecting their brand – one that has survived many scandals and proved itself largely bulletproof.
After Rebeca Loos went public with claims of an affair with David in 2004, the Beckhams became more cautious about the ways they chose to be public-facing, placing a protective shield around the private lives they had once so carelessly flaunted.
Until now. The shield has been shattered, and with the world burning, none of us should feel guilty about enjoying a peek behind that carefully curated curtain.
Whatever your thoughts on the Beckhams, a family being broken beyond repair is devastating, and something many people can relate to, particularly when it comes to in-law conflicts.
But it also raises uncomfortable questions about everything we, as the Beckhams’ audience, thought we knew.
Brooklyn notably comes for his mum far more than his dad, but Sir David is obviously implicated in everything written.
His hard won knighthood comes after a career where he was considered not just a legendary footballer but as a gentle, charitable, seemingly kind man.
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For better or worse, the Beckhams have transcended celebrity to become something close to a national institution – held in almost the same esteem as royalty, without actually being royal – and I think they’ll probably survive this, one way or another.
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For now, it’s hard to know who – or what – to believe. Whether the truth lies in the image presented to us for nearly 30 years or Brooklyn’s earth-scorching admission.
You might think this doesn’t really matter, and it probably doesn’t really, considering the seismic events happening every day that threaten our collective future.
But that is very much the point.
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And given a chance to immerse ourselves in a row that seems like a fun way to challenge our preconceived notions, we’ll all revel in the joy of the drama for as long as it lasts.
Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing Ross.Mccafferty@metro.co.uk.
Share your views in the comments below.
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