By the time Vivienne Isebor was told she had ADHD she was already in her late twenties, having led a ‘chaotic’ life that made it difficult for her to hold down a job or relationship.
Armed with her new diagnosis she went in search of support to help her come to terms with the condition – however, Vivienne soon learned there was very little out there for women like her.
‘I tried to connect with a few places, but none of them were made with me in mind,’ she tells Metro. ‘Black women are meant to be strong and keep our pain invisible, but you can’t just dismiss ADHD because you can’t see it.’
Instead, Vivenne decided to set up her own group, and what started on Facebook, quickly moved into WhatsApp and today her support group, known as ADHD Babes, offers a safe space for Black women and non-binary people. Today it has over 300 members and helps people worldwide from the UK and US to Germany and Africa.
Talking about what it’s like to live with ADHD, Vivienne explains: ‘It is genuinely like spinning around in a circle and then trying to stop and just start doing stuff normally. I know exactly what I want to do and have a clear intention and a vision and an idea, but it’s like my body and my brain is just not working with what I’m thinking and wanting.
Sign up for all of the latest stories
Start your day informed with Metro's News Updates newsletter or get Breaking News alerts the moment it happens.
‘When I look back to before I got diagnosed my life was very chaotic. I wasn’t able to get a full time job, I was in so much debt, in toxic relationships and my emotional health was on the ground.
‘ADHD bulldozes every part of your life if it’s not accommodated.
‘People often dismiss it and rather than see someone in need, they see it as someone not trying hard enough. But why would I make this up?’
At the time of her diagnosis in 2020 Vivienne had been working as a life skills recovery worker at a psychiatric hospital, helping nurses and running wellbeing workshops, so when she realised what she needed didn’t exist, she used her knowledge to set up ADHD Babes.
‘On Facebook I found other women with ADHD, and then we moved to WhatsApp and grew organically from there,’ Vivienne, 32, remembers. ‘A couple of friends had also just got diagnosed, so I invited them in and it continued to grow. Lockdown triggered another shift, as we couldn’t go anywhere – so we used Zoom and ended up chatting for hours.
‘It turns out that women like me have always been here, we just didn’t know.
‘Our community created itself, and the people showing up with kindness and support has made it what it is – it’s beautiful.’
By December 2020, the group was a registered Community Interest Company (CIC) and, as well as giving emotional support, ADHD Babes now offers workshops which give practical tools to help people manage their condition, as well as access benefits, and succeed in careers. They also hold creative events and socials, so members can meet up and be themselves.
‘One of my favourite things is our socials,’ says Vivienne, who has since given up her NHS role to focus on the group full time. ‘We just do really fun things, so it doesn’t feel we have to only focus on disability and mental health. Of course, those things are important, but our group also centres happiness. Our whole lives don’t just have to be about symptoms and difficulties. Joy is equally as vital.’
The success of the group is apparent in the messages Vivienne has received over the years, with people sharing how it has offered them a lifeline.
‘People have said that we have literally saved their life,’ she says. ‘One person told me they were thinking about how long they could stay here – but then finding us has made them want to be alive.’
14 ways you can win the tussel with ADHD
By Areaona Roberson
1) Hydration.
Like Earth we are over 50% of water. Meaning water is a pretty big deal. I notice when I am dehydrated my quality of sleep declines, I am more irritable and less “myself.” Plus, water helps with making your skin healthier, removing waste and more.
2) Snacking.
As a Westerner, 3 meals a day was programmed into me. However, on stressful or active days, these meals need supplements. And that is where snacks come in. My go-tos are homemade trail mix, fig bars, and peanut butter crackers. I can go from Oscar the Grouch to Elmo when I have sufficient food.
3) Organization.
Impulse buying combined with the 30 plus minutes needed to clean, and our infamous piles on the floor, bed, and couch equals a less productive week. My best tips are multiple laundry baskets, a shoe rack and remembering “now is better.” I also engage in something I call “speed-cleaning.” It’s where you pick a small area to clean like the shower put a timer on for 3-7 minutes, crank up your fave tunes and just clean as much as you can as fast as you can.
4) Time Management.
One word. Timers. Many of us tend to lose track of time when doing a task. I find that setting physical timers help a lot. Set multiple timers so that your allotted time is broken up into at least two segments.
5) Seasonal Cleanings.
As impulse buyers, sometimes we buy items we use for a month and then fall out of love with it. Seasonal cleanings allow you to do inventory so you do not rebuy items and possibly help someone in need if you donate.
6) Sleep.
No one is an Energizer bunny. I am a nap connoisseur. A good hour-long nap changes my mood and focus.
7) Remember,
you are NOT a superhero and no one asked you to be. And even if they did, you don’t have to.
8) Boundaries.
Boundaries are hard, PERIOD. But, they are necessary. I challenge you to put up three boundaries starting now. It can be as simple as not running to an adult’s aid, only drinking soda on holidays, or only answering the phone during a certain time. One of the hardest things for me to learn was to not be so freaking helpful to the point where your peace is in jeopardy.
9) Pooping.
While not directly linked to ADHD, everyone has to poop. But, constipation is no one’s friend. If you are not going regularly, you are harboring toxins that need to be released.
10) Break up.
Again, not ADHD specific, but we can be more emotional than others. I can tell you first hand, trying to tough out a relationship is one of the unhealthiest things you can do. If you are not sure if your relationship is healthy, whether romantic or not, make a pros and cons list. If the cons outweigh the pros by 20%, also known as the 80/20 rule, then babe, you might need to review your relationship and boundaries with that person. (you may need to deny them access to you). Access to your time, emotions, money, body, and other assets is valuable, and needs to be treated like it is. should be denied ASAP.
11) Anxiety Control.
I had terrible phone anxiety. I overcame it by tying my phone anxiety with a social project I really wanted to be a part of. It was not my best work. But, now I find myself wanting to call instead of using the internet/texting on many occasions. If you have the option to not “raw-dog” your navigation of anxiety, unlike me, don’t do it. Here’s the link to a video by Dr. Kojo that talks about anxiety and ADHD. 5 Practical Tips on Managing Anxiety!
12) Self-Diagnosis.
ADHD Testing isn’t readily available to many. But, if you think you have it and are tired of struggling, these tips and others, that do not need medical professional expertise/assistance may be life-changing.
13) Random Skills.
We love our random skills/hobbies. But, with that comes alot of money sitting collecting dust. So, I try my very best to only spend $25 on a new hobby until I am interested in it for more than a week.
(Shameless plug: ADHD Babes has recently created an opportunity where we can swap out our old hobby items for those for a new hobby!! You can participate by joining our Discord and assigning yourself on the #hobbies channel)
14) Celebrate Your Small Wins.
Making my bed has always been easier said then done. I went four days without making my bed. I just laid on top of the blankets. But, one day I got that extra boost and focus and completed the task in five minutes. Instead of beating myself up because it only took five times, I became proud of myself. All tasks that you have to mentally and physically force yourself to do are eligible for celebration. Your only competition is you. 🙌
Source: ADHD Babes Blog
And with messages like that, it’s no surprise that ADHD Babes has been shortlisted in the Community Group category at the Scope Awards this year, which Metro is a proud partner of. ‘We’re just getting on with it, but is nice to know what we’re doing is appreciated and seen,’ says Vivienne.
More Trending
However, she adds, it’s crucial people realise just how important disability groups are, especially at a time when the government is proposing to make significant cuts to disability benefits. ‘We are in such an economic crisis and to scapegoat people with disabilities as the cause for concern is a cheap shot. It’s such a bad reflection of British culture.
Scope Awards 2025
Metro is also the official media partner of 2025 Scope Awards that will take place next month.
The ceremony will celebrate the work disabled people and organisations are doing to bring about important change.
Hosted by the BAFTA-nominated actor Adam Pearson, unsung heroes, amazing achievements and the incredible accolades of the disabled community are all being honoured at the Kia Oval.
There are 38 nominees for the nine Scope Awards: Accessible Product, Celebrity Role Model, Community Group, Inclusive Workplace, Journalist, Marketing Campaign, Media Moment, Purple Pioneer and Social Media Influencer.
‘All we can do is remind people that there’s more of us than those in power. Family and friends believe us – they see our strength and our difficulties, and they hold space for us. They just see the fact that we have needs, and when those needs are met, it allows us to live our lives.’
Vivienne admits that living with ADHD is still a daily battle which can be ‘exhausting’, but she is able to accept it for what it is. ‘This is the life that I have,’ she says. ‘It’s still sometimes chaotic but it’s also incredibly joyful.’
Get in touch with our news team by emailing us at webnews@metro.co.uk.
For more stories like this, check our news page.
MORE: ‘It’s a dark time to be disabled in the UK right now’
MORE: A friend’s question when I came out as trans moved me to tears
