Being trans doesn’t stop me being a victim of misogyny

It’s hard being a woman.

And as a trans person who is perceived and seen by people as a woman, I’m certainly no stranger to the sexism and misogyny that plagues society

Coming out as trans and transitioning was the only way for me to feel comfortable in my own body and who I am – and while that’s been the best decision of my life, being a woman certainly comes with its challenges, to say the least.

And despite what some ‘gender critical’ voices may think, trans people *do* experience misogyny. 

My experience will ring true for many women – whether it’s men dismissing sexism, criticising my professional expertise, or belittling me and mocking my appearance. 

Unsurprisingly, in this day and age, I also experience transphobia. What I find particularly interesting is that there are countless parallels between the two, like when men try to ‘mansplain’ concepts to me, while somehow insisting I am one myself.

And even those gender critical people who declare themselves ardent supporters of women’s rights can’t resist furiously deploying the same misogynistic tropes that any good feminist would reject outright. 

They are quick to wade in whenever I share my experiences of being treated as a woman in society, claiming that I could ‘never experience misogyny’ – while in the same breath calling me slurs, completely speaking over me and my experiences, or circling certain parts of my photos to say my ‘jawline is male’ or that I have ‘a huge adam’s apple’ – none of which are true.

It’s about humiliating me, and trying to hurt me – exactly the same way that misogynists treat women they disagree with or women that speak their mind.

The only difference between your typical misogynist and those who call themselves gender critical is that they try to disguise the abuse they direct at me by hiding behind stock phrases like ‘protecting sex-based rights’. 

But their insults don’t change that I’m perceived as a woman. 

It’s only online, where I’m more open about my identity, that I experience transphobia. 

But unless I tell someone, your average person on the street doesn’t know I’m trans. 

I’m looked at by men in a way that I wasn’t before I transitioned.

Like most women, I have to consider my safety in public, especially late at night. I have been harassed by countless men in so many different ways since I came out. 

A few years ago a woman in the town I live was assaulted and raped on a street that I walk through on my way home from the train station – and after that I changed my route entirely.

I was terrified, like any woman would be.

But there are positives to my perception despite all that. 

I am seen and accepted as a woman, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a cousin and friend by my friends and family and everyone important to me, who fully accept me as who I am. 

My parents are delighted to call me their daughter, and are my biggest supporters. 

When I came out, they even helped me pick out a new name, and everyone in my family comments about the fact that my mum and I look so much alike. 

The relationship with my mother in particular has only grown stronger since I came out, and it has done so undoubtedly because we’ve been able to connect as mother and daughter. 

So in reality, it doesn’t really matter to me what people say about me online, or how much they try and claim I don’t know what it’s like to be a woman in society – whether they are common trolls or brave ‘feminists’, I know they are wrong. 

I know that my experiences chime with the experiences of all of my friends who are also women, those same friends with whom I find solidarity and acceptance in our mutual experiences and sisterhood. I find acceptance within my family and everyone important to me.

At the end of the day I know who I am, and what my lived experience is. 

That is something no one is able to take away from me, no matter how much they shout and abuse me for being me. 

So while they claim I’m a man, or hide behind ‘gender critical views’ as an excuse to  harass and abuse me, I’ll continue living my best life, as the person I am. 

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk. 

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