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‘Match’, Tubi’s Most Repulsive Movie You Never Knew Existed… Until Now
																								
												
												
											Match. Let’s just say, I took one for the team by watching this movie to review for you guys.
Tubi sure has some balls to stream this original horror movie. It is not a bad movie by any means. But the imagery will take a couple weeks, or maybe months, to erase from my memory. Let me tell you, it’s not always what the mind conjures up that scares us the most. Sometimes the filmmaker puts it up front and center.
Match is not for the squeamish, and I don’t mean in regards to blood and gore. Blood and gore would be a walk in the park compared to this. Remember the article Attack of the Killer Dongs that I wrote? It is about horror movies displaying monstrous male genitalia instead of attractive dongs? Well, we can add this one to the list.
In short, Match is the bait and switch movie that will make you swear off internet dating. Forever.
Premature Love?
Match captures the hope and excitement a dating app promises you. You know what I’m talking about. The way your breath catches in your throat every time you hear the alert on your phone that you made a match. The warm and fuzzies you feel when you’re exchanging messages with someone new. The butterflies that flutter in your stomach when you arrive for that first date.

Paola (Humberly Gonzalez) experienced all of this when she made a 93% match with 30 year old Henry (Luke Volker). His messages melted away any concerns she had when she arrived at his house for their first dinner date. However, when the door opened it was not Henry who greeted her, but his mother (Dianne Simpson) …and it is here when the nightmare of a rollercoaster has officially left the platform.
The Meat and Potatoes
Soon into the movie the intentions of the mother and son duo are brought to light when Paola is introduced to the real Henry (Jacques Adriaansse). And in all honesty, he makes The Hunchback of Notre Dame’s Quasimodo look like the more attractive brother.
Upon emerging from the darkness of his room, Henry greets Paola with a rose. Who said chivalry is dead? Unfortunately Paola’s disgust has Henry forgoing the attempt at romance and resorting to Plan B. He literally drops his overalls around his feet and stumbles eagerly to his horrified date. This is all within the first 20 minutes, boys and girls.

If you’re brave enough to continue to watch, Match leaves you wondering who the more diabolical character is.
Soon the viewer realizes just how intent Henry’s mother is on having a grandchild. She even goes to the extent of giving him Viagra to ensure his performance when she lures his unsuspecting dates to the house. Not to mention a scene with an exchange between mother and son that had me suppressing a bit of vomit. Let’s just say, this mother is not afraid to lend a helping hand to a son in need.

The movie only continues to unravel scene by scene from here!
Grabbing the Industry by the Balls
Director Danishka Esterhazy certainly has some lady balls to make this movie, and I applaud her. Leave it to a woman to make the male audience squirm!
It’s safe to say Esterhazy knows her way around a penis. She directed the acclaimed television movie, I was Lorena Bobbitt.

For those who aren’t familiar with Lorena Bobbitt, she forcefully cut her husband’s penis off with a kitchen knife while he slept. She declared battered wife syndrome, and claimed her husband had abused her for years.
The television movie received multiple awards, including Best Director award from the Directors Guild of Canada. She also directed the 2021 remake of The Slumber Party Massacre.
If Esterhazy keeps moving in this direction, she is sure to give us some future scream queens!
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HAUNTED HISTORY – The Myrtles Plantation
														The Myrtles Plantation is located in St. Frances, Louisiana, and consists of 600 acres. It was built in 1796 by General David Bradford, a successful lawyer and deputy attorney-general for Washington County, Pennsylvania, who was forced to flee President George Washington’s army in 1794 due to his role in the Pennsylvania Whiskey Rebellion.

General Bradford was eventually pardoned in 1799 by President John Adams at which time he moved his wife Elizabeth and their five children to live with him on the Plantation’s originally named “Laurel Grove.”
Bradford died in 1808 and his widow Elizabeth ran the plantation until 1817 when she handed over the management of the Plantation to Clarke Woodruff. He was one of Bradford’s former law students, who eventually married her daughter, Sara Mathilda.
Elizabeth Bradford died in 1831 and one of her daughter’s children, Mary Octavia, who was then overseeing the Plantation, moved to Covington, Louisiana, and left a caretaker to manage the property in her place.

In 1834, the family’s land and slaves were sold to Ruffin Gray Stirling and his wife, Catherine Cobb. Once they took over the plantation, they remodeled the home, nearly doubling its original size. After the remodel, the home was renamed “The Myrtles”  after the crepe myrtles that grew on the property.
The Myrtles consists of 22 rooms spread over two stories. Stirling died in 1854 and left the plantation to his wife. The plantation survived through the American Civil War, where it was robbed of the furnishings and expensive accessories. The family fortune was also lost during this time as it was tied up in Confederate currency.
The plantation was sold again in 1868.
The Hauntings of the Myrtles Plantation

In the 20th-century, the surrounding land was divided and sold among heirs. In the 1950s the house was sold to Marjorie Munson, who was one of the first to notice strange things happening around the house, and this resulted in numerous ghost stories. The home went through many more ownership changes until it was finally bought by John and Teeta Moss, who are now the current owners.

There are many legends surrounding the home.
It is reported to have been built over an Indian burial ground and listed as “one of America’s most haunted homes.” The home is said to be haunted by a young Native American woman.
The plantation is said to have around 12 ghosts and reports of 10 murders that occurred in the house, although historical records only indicate the murder of 1 person, William Winter, an attorney who lived at the plantation and was shot in 1871 and died on the 17th step of the staircase. Employees and visitors have said they can still hear his dying footsteps.

One of the most well-known ghosts is a slave girl named Chloe. In 1992, the proprietress of the plantation was taking photographs for insurance purposes and happened to photograph what appeared to be a slave girl standing between The General’s Store and the Butler’s Pantry of the mansion. The National Geographic Explorer examined the photograph and appeared to agree with the owner.

One of the legends says that, during the Civil War, the house was invaded by Union soldiers and claims three of them were killed inside the house. Another alleged haunting involves a mirror located in the house that supposedly holds the spirits of Sara Woodruff and two of her children, one of the former owners of the plantation.
Another young girl supposedly died in the house in 1868, who was being treated by a voodoo practitioner. It is said she appears in the room where she died and practices voodoo on whoever sleeps in that room.

In 2002, Unsolved Mysteries featured the hauntings at the plantation. Host Robert Stack stated that the production crew experienced technical difficulties during filming. The Myrtles was also featured on an episode of Ghost Hunters and Ghost Adventures, as well as an episode on The Most Terrifying Places in America.
The Myrtle Plantation is open for ghost tours and as a Bed and Breakfast.
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Paranormal Games: The 11 Mile Game
														It’s another week here at iHorror, and that means it’s time for a brand new paranormal game. It’s called The 11 Mile Game and it’s the first “game” we’ve featured that involves traveling. That’s right, for this game you’re going to need reliable transportation.
It looks like this game is yet another ritual pasta. That is, it’s a creepy pasta that is performative. These creepy stories don’t just require you to read them. Instead, you’ve got tasks to complete, and it’s going to take a little work on your part to get it done.
Unlike other games we’ve featured, The 11 Mile Game isn’t necessarily about receiving information (The Answer Man) or conjuring up a spirit (Charlotte’s Web). No, this game is all about manifesting a deep desire that you’ll only find at the end of the mystical and spooky 11 mile road.
What I find so intriguing about this particular game is that it draws on so much folklore and myth and legend from collective world history. Joseph Campbell made a career out of digging into these archetypal stories and the classic hero myths of the world to show just how closely related separate cultures are.
“The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure,” he once said in reference to the hero’s journey.
For The 11 Mile Game, I might change it to, “Are you ready for things to get spooky to have your wish come true.”
If the answer is yes, then take a look at the supplies, rules, and warnings for the game below!

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay
Supplies, Rules, and Warnings for The 11-Mile Game
Supplies:
Honestly, all you really need is yourself, a car, and a nice set of back roads to play this game. Like the heroes from mythology, you are absolutely required to take this quest alone, however, so make sure you’re the only one in the car when this journey begins.
Rules:
Okay, so you’re going to want to play this game late at night when there isn’t a lot of traffic. To begin your quest, head out onto a stretch of back roads. Make sure your car radio and cell phone are turned off. You don’t want any distractions here. To drive the 11 mile road, you must first find it, and to do so you must begin by driving with the thing you most desire foremost in your mind.
This road doesn’t actually exist in the real world. It won’t have a road sign. It won’t be on your GPS.
They say you’ll know you’ve found the road by a feeling or a change in the atmosphere around you. One user on Wattpad says that there will also be visible signs:
“For example, if you’re in search of wealth, you may spot shimmers on the empty branches of trees as if they resembled the shine of gold or diamonds. If you seek love, you may begin to see rose petals slowly dance in the light breeze, blowing in the road’s direction.”
Take a deep breath, steel your nerves, and make the turn onto the road. You’re going to be surrounded by trees on this road, whether you were before or not. They say that’s another of the first signs that you’re on the right path.
Each mile is meant to test your resolve and the tests will become more terrifying the farther you travel. How badly do you want what to see your desire or wish manifested? Some say finding the road itself means you’re serious, but that doesn’t mean you’re ready to receive it.
Let’s take a look at each of the mile markers on the mystic road and what you may encounter as you go.
- Mile 1: As you begin your journey, you’ll notice that the temperature will begin to drop in your car. This is sort of the welcoming sign that you’ve found the right place. It’s going to get colder, so be prepared to crank up the heat if, like me, you hate the cold.
 - Mile 2: The temperature will continue to drop here. Now is a good time to turn the heater on if you haven’t already. You’re about to get into the thick of things.
 - Mile 3: If the road was paved before, you can kiss that good-bye. You’ll now find yourself on a dirt road. You’ll also begin to spot silhouettes and human-shaped shadows in the trees along the road. IGNORE THEM. No matter how close or menacing they may appear, you must keep your eyes on the road. Now is not the time for distractions.
 - Mile 4: Those shadows you saw before will disappear, but you will now begin to hear whispered voices. Tune them out the best you can. Listening or trying to determine what they’re saying will only draw them closer to you and you do NOT want them getting any closer than they already are.
 - Mile 5: The trees around you may suddenly disappear and you may spot a beautiful lake lit by a gorgeous full moon. Do not stop the car. Keep driving no matter how alluring the images you see are. Stay on the road. Keep driving.
 - Mile 6: You’re halfway to your goal! Unfortunately that means the tests are going to get more difficult. The trees will return here and the stars and moon above you will disappear. Your headlights will begin to flicker as if they are going to go out. Your radio will turn itself on and a voice will speak to you about your greatest fears, underlining the danger you’re in. You won’t be able to turn the radio off, so don’t even try. Ignore it. Keep your eyes on the road. It will begin to twist and turn more and you don’t want to have an accident.
 - Mile 7: The voices will return, but they won’t be whispering anymore. Now you’ll hear distant screams coming closer by the moment. One of those voices may sound like it is right in your ear, like its speaking to you from the back seat of your car. Do NOT turn around to look for it. You may not like what you see and again, you risk driving off the road.
 - Mile 8: At the eighth mile, the road is going to become even more treacherous with deadly turns, and your distractions will double. The shadow figures you saw in the trees before are most definitely following you now and you’ll hear their voices and the scratch of their claws along the side of the car. Your headlights may go out for a few seconds. If they do, you can slow down, but don’t stop driving whatever you’re doing. You do not want them to catch you!
 - Mile 9: Your vehicle is going to stall. Close your eyes and try to restart it. Do not open your eyes until the car restarts. You are surrounded by the creatures. They will fall back when the car starts again, but until they do they are going to do everything they can to distract you. Ignore sounds, voices, etc. Your only goal here is to restart your car and continue driving.
 - Mile 10: You are almost there! At this point, the voices will stop. You may be tempted to look in your rear view mirror to see if the creatures are still following you. I assure you that they are! Do NOT look in the mirror. Do NOT check your back seat. Keep driving.
 - Mile 11: Your vehicle will once again lose power, but it will not stop moving. You may see a glowing red light ahead of you. You are no longer in control of your vehicle’s movements so don’t even bother trying. Close your eyes–cover them if you need to–you do not want to see what is around you at this point. Do your best to tune out the sounds around you. The cold will be replaced by heat. This is, by far, the most excruciating point on your journey of the 11-mile road. Some say you’re being drawn through hell itself. This should really only last about 30 seconds or so, but it will be the longest half-minute of your life.
 - The Dead End: Once power returns to your car, the noises will fade away and it’s safe to start driving on your own again. In a short distance you will come to a dead end. Stop the car, relax, close your eyes and focus on what it is that you’ve desired. Why did you take this journey? What wish did you want fulfilled? Once you’ve done this, you can open your eyes, at which time, you’ll discover you have returned to the beginning of the road.
 
IF WHAT YOU DESIRED WAS MATERIAL: Check your trunk first. If it’s smaller, it might be in your back seat, and if it’s really small, it may be in your pockets, but it will be there!
IF WHAT YOU DESIRED WAS NOT A MATERIAL OBJECT: Drive home and pay attention to your life. In the next few days, your desire will manifest in some way.
Warnings:
Aside from the warnings listed in each of the individual mile markers above here are few more things to keep in mind if you decide to play The 11-Mile Game.
Do NOT roll down your windows for any reason.
Do NOT use your cell phone. It probably won’t work anyway, but just don’t.
Do NOT turn on the radio in your car.
Do NOT get out of the car at any point until you’ve been returned to the beginning of the road.
Do NOT drive over 30 mph on this journey. There’s too much going on and you could have an accident.
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The Real Life Killer that Inspired ‘Jeepers Creepers’!
														Dennis DePue was a real-life killer that inspired the horror movie Jeepers Creepers!
Plenty of horror movies are inspired by actual events, from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre to Child’s Play. In fact, as we recently told you here on iHorror, even A Nightmare on Elm Street had real-life inspirations. A burnt-faced dream demon of course never truly existed, but the inspiration story is very interesting. You can read all about that here.
You also might be surprised to learn that 2001’s Jeepers Creepers was similarly derived from true events. This fact wasn’t in the least bit played up by writer/director Victor Salva. The movie is about a winged monster that plucks out human eyeballs. Though it may seem impossible that it was grounded in any sort of reality, it most definitely was.

It was in 1990 that Michigan resident Dennis DePue became the subject of a police manhunt. This occurred after Dennis DePue murdered his wife and dumped her body behind an abandoned schoolhouse. The story goes that the murder was an act of vengeance, after his wife filed for divorce, with Dennis DePue shooting her in the back of the head.
In Jeepers Creepers, the monster dumps bodies behind an abandoned church, much the same way DePue disposed of his wife, but it wasn’t DePue that inspired the film so much as it was the testimony of two eyewitnesses who saw him dump the body.

While driving around on a long stretch of Michigan road, Ray and Marie Thornton spotted DePue doing his dirty deed, and then found themselves followed by the killer, who suspiciously tailed them in his van for several miles. Sound familiar? Because it certainly should, if you’ve seen Jeepers Creepers.
Jeepers Creepers on Unsolved Mysteries
Now what’s most interesting about all of this is that the TV show Unsolved Mysteries ran a story on the DePue case in March of 1991, a full ten years before Jeepers Creepers was made. The segment featured a re-enactment of Thornton’s story, which bears a striking resemblance to the first half of Salva’s film.
The opening sequence of Jeepers Creepers is directly lifted from the episode, right down to specific shots and dialogue exchanges. Like the Thornton’s, the brother and sister in the film even pass the time by playing the very same license plate game, making the inspiration undeniable.
Oddly enough, while Salva has credited Steven Spielberg’s Duel with serving as an inspiration for the film, he’s never once given any sort of credit to Unsolved Mysteries. This leads me to believe that he hoped nobody would ever make the connection. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with using a ripped-from-the-headlines story as the basis for a film. However, the direct lifting of the “Unsolved Mysteries” re-enactment of that story is suspect, to say the least.
“Creeper” Dennis DePue Caught
The real-life killer that inspired Jeepers Creepers was finally caught.
Shortly after the 1990 episode aired, Dennis DePue was caught, and subsequently committed suicide. So no, he never went on to stalk a bus full of shirtless dudes, in case you were wondering!
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