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<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN"><html><head><title>The Project Gutenberg Etext of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll</title> <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1"><style type="text/css"><!-- body{margin:10%;text-align:justify}p.asterisks{font-size:150%;font-family:monospace;text-align:center}--></style> </head><body><pre>
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Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
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by Lewis Carroll
May, 1997 [Etext #928]
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</pre>
<hr>
<h1 align="Center">ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND</h1>
<h3 align="Center">Lewis Carroll</h3>
<p align="Center"><i>THE MILLENNIUM FULCRUM EDITION 3.0</i></p>
<hr>
<h3 align="Center">CHAPTER I</h3>
<h3 align="Center">Down the Rabbit-Hole</h3>
<p>Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister
on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had
peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no
pictures or conversations in it, 'and what is the use of a book,'
thought Alice 'without pictures or conversation?'</p>
<p>So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could,
for the hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether
the pleasure of making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble
of getting up and picking the daisies, when suddenly a White
Rabbit with pink eyes ran close by her.</p>
<p>There was nothing so <i>very</i> remarkable in that; nor did
Alice think it so <i>very</i> much out of the way to hear the
Rabbit say to itself, 'Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be late!' (when
she thought it over afterwards, it occurred to her that she ought
to have wondered at this, but at the time it all seemed quite
natural); but when the Rabbit actually <i>took a watch out of its
waistcoat-pocket,</i> and looked at it, and then hurried on,
Alice started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that
she had never before seen a rabbit with either a
waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to take out of it, and burning with
curiosity, she ran across the field after it, and fortunately was
just in time to see it pop down a large rabbit-hole under the
hedge.</p>
<p>In another moment down went Alice after it, never once
considering how in the world she was to get out again.</p>
<p>The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way,
and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a
moment to think about stopping herself before she found herself
falling down a very deep well.</p>
<p>Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for
she had plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to
wonder what was going to happen next. First, she tried to look
down and make out what she was coming to, but it was too dark to
see anything; then she looked at the sides of the well, and
noticed that they were filled with cupboards and book-shelves;
here and there she saw maps and pictures hung upon pegs. She took
down a jar from one of the shelves as she passed; it was labelled
'ORANGE MARMALADE', but to her great disappointment it was empty:
she did not like to drop the jar for fear of killing somebody, so
managed to put it into one of the cupboards as she fell past
it.</p>
<p>'Well!' thought Alice to herself, 'after such a fall as this,
I shall think nothing of tumbling down stairs! How brave they'll
all think me at home! Why, I wouldn't say anything about it, even
if I fell off the top of the house!' (Which was very likely
true.)</p>
<p>Down, down, down. Would the fall <i>never</i> come to an end!
'I wonder how many miles I've fallen by this time?' she said
aloud. 'I must be getting somewhere near the centre of the earth.
Let me see: that would be four thousand miles down, I think--'
(for, you see, Alice had learnt several things of this sort in
her lessons in the schoolroom, and though this was not a <i>very</i>
good opportunity for showing off her knowledge, as there was no
one to listen to her, still it was good practice to say it over)
'--yes, that's about the right distance--but then I wonder what
Latitude or Longitude I've got to?' (Alice had no idea what
Latitude was, or Longitude either, but thought they were nice
grand words to say.)</p>
<p>Presently she began again. 'I wonder if I shall fall right
<i>through</i> the earth! How funny it'll seem to come out among
the people that walk with their heads downward! The Antipathies,
I think--' (she was rather glad there <i>was</i> no one listening, this
time, as it didn't sound at all the right word) '--but I shall
have to ask them what the name of the country is, you know.
Please, Ma'am, is this New Zealand or Australia?' (and she tried
to curtsey as she spoke--fancy <i>curtseying</i> as you're
falling through the air! Do you think you could manage it?) 'And
what an ignorant little girl she'll think me for asking! No,
it'll never do to ask: perhaps I shall see it written up
somewhere.'</p>
<p>Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon
began talking again. 'Dinah'll miss me very much to-night, I
should think!' (Dinah was the cat.) 'I hope they'll remember her
saucer of milk at tea-time. Dinah my dear! I wish you were down
here with me! There are no mice in the air, I'm afraid, but you
might catch a bat, and that's very like a mouse, you know. But do
cats eat bats, I wonder?' And here Alice began to get rather
sleepy, and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy sort of way,
'Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?' and sometimes, 'Do bats eat
cats?' for, you see, as she couldn't answer either question, it
didn't much matter which way she put it. She felt that she was
dozing off, and had just begun to dream that she was walking hand
in hand with Dinah, and saying to her very earnestly, 'Now,
Dinah, tell me the truth: did you ever eat a bat?' when suddenly,
thump! thump! down she came upon a heap of sticks and dry leaves,
and the fall was over.</p>
<p>Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in
a moment: she looked up, but it was all dark overhead; before her
was another long passage, and the White Rabbit was still in
sight, hurrying down it. There was not a moment to be lost: away
went Alice like the wind, and was just in time to hear it say, as
it turned a corner, 'Oh my ears and whiskers, how late it's
getting!' She was close behind it when she turned the corner, but
the Rabbit was no longer to be seen: she found herself in a long,
low hall, which was lit up by a row of lamps hanging from the
roof.</p>
<p>There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked;
and when Alice had been all the way down one side and up the
other, trying every door, she walked sadly down the middle,
wondering how she was ever to get out again.</p>
<p>Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, all made
of solid glass; there was nothing on it except a tiny golden key,
and Alice's first thought was that it might belong to one of the
doors of the hall; but, alas! either the locks were too large, or
the key was too small, but at any rate it would not open any of
them. However, on the second time round, she came upon a low
curtain she had not noticed before, and behind it was a little
door about fifteen inches high: she tried the little golden key
in the lock, and to her great delight it fitted!</p>
<p>Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small
passage, not much larger than a rat-hole: she knelt down and
looked along the passage into the loveliest garden you ever saw.
How she longed to get out of that dark hall, and wander about
among those beds of bright flowers and those cool fountains, but
she could not even get her head though the doorway; 'and even if
my head <i>would</i> go through,' thought poor Alice, 'it would
be of very little use without my shoulders. Oh, how I wish I
could shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if I only know
how to begin.' For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things had
happened lately, that Alice had begun to think that very few
things indeed were really impossible.</p>
<p>There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so
she went back to the table, half hoping she might find another
key on it, or at any rate a book of rules for shutting people up
like telescopes: this time she found a little bottle on it,
('which certainly was not here before,' said Alice,) and round
the neck of the bottle was a paper label, with the words 'DRINK
ME' beautifully printed on it in large letters.</p>
<p>It was all very well to say 'Drink me,' but the wise little
Alice was not going to do <i>that</i> in a hurry. 'No, I'll look
first,' she said, 'and see whether it's marked "<i>poison</i>" or
not'; for she had read several nice little histories about
children who had got burnt, and eaten up by wild beasts and other
unpleasant things, all because they <i>would</i> not remember the
simple rules their friends had taught them: such as, that a
red-hot poker will burn you if you hold it too long; and that if
you cut your finger <i>very</i> deeply with a knife, it usually
bleeds; and she had never forgotten that, if you drink much from
a bottle marked '<i>poison</i>,' it is almost certain to disagree
with you, sooner or later.</p>
<p>However, this bottle was <i>not</i> marked 'poison,' so Alice
ventured to taste it, and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact,
a sort of mixed flavour of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple,
roast turkey, toffee, and hot buttered toast,) she very soon
finished it off.</p>
<p class="asterisks">
<br>
* * * * *
<br>
* * * *
<br>
* * * * *
<br>
</p>
<p>'What a curious feeling!' said Alice; 'I must be shutting up
like a telescope.'</p>
<p>And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high, and
her face brightened up at the thought that she was now the right
size for going through the little door into that lovely garden.
First, however, she waited for a few minutes to see if she was
going to shrink any further: she felt a little nervous about
this; 'for it might end, you know,' said Alice to herself, 'in my
going out altogether, like a candle. I wonder what I should be
like then?' And she tried to fancy what the flame of a candle is
like after the candle is blown out, for she could not remember
ever having seen such a thing.</p>
<p>After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided
on going into the garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice! when
she got to the door, she found she had forgotten the little
golden key, and when she went back to the table for it, she found
she could not possibly reach it: she could see it quite plainly
through the glass, and she tried her best to climb up one of the
legs of the table, but it was too slippery; and when she had
tired herself out with trying, the poor little thing sat down and
cried.</p>
<p>'Come, there's no use in crying like that!' said Alice to
herself, rather sharply; 'I advise you to leave off this minute!'
She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very
seldom followed it), and sometimes she scolded herself so
severely as to bring tears into her eyes; and once she remembered
trying to box her own ears for having cheated herself in a game
of croquet she was playing against herself, for this curious
child was very fond of pretending to be two people. 'But it's no
use now,' thought poor Alice, 'to pretend to be two people! Why,
there's hardly enough of me left to make <i>one</i> respectable
person!'</p>
<p>Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under
the table: she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on
which the words 'EAT ME' were beautifully marked in currants.
'Well, I'll eat it,' said Alice, 'and if it makes me grow larger,
I can reach the key; and if it makes me grow smaller, I can creep
under the door; so either way I'll get into the garden, and I
don't care which happens!'</p>
<p>She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, 'Which
way? Which way?', holding her hand on the top of her head to feel
which way it was growing, and she was quite surprised to find
that she remained the same size: to be sure, this generally
happens when one eats cake, but Alice had got so much into the
way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen,
that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the
common way.</p>
<p>So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake.</p>
<p class="asterisks">
<br>
* * * * *
<br>
* * * *
<br>
* * * * *
<br>
</p>
<hr>
<h3 align="Center">CHAPTER II</h3>
<h3 align="Center">The Pool of Tears</h3>
<p>'Curiouser and curiouser!' cried Alice (she was so much
surprised, that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good
English); 'now I'm opening out like the largest telescope that
ever was! Good-bye, feet!' (for when she looked down at her feet,
they seemed to be almost out of sight, they were getting so far
off). 'Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder who will put on your
shoes and stockings for you now, dears? I'm sure <i>I</i> shan't
be able! I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble myself
about you: you must manage the best way you can; --but I must be
kind to them,' thought Alice, 'or perhaps they won't walk the way
I want to go! Let me see: I'll give them a new pair of boots
every Christmas.'</p>
<p>And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it.
'They must go by the carrier,' she thought; 'and how funny it'll
seem, sending presents to one's own feet! And how odd the
directions will look!</p>
<blockquote><i>ALICE'S RIGHT FOOT, ESQ.</i>
<p><i>HEARTHRUG,</i></p>
<p><i>NEAR THE FENDER,</i></p>
<p><i>(WITH ALICE'S LOVE).</i></p>
</blockquote>
<p>Oh dear, what nonsense I'm talking!'</p>
<p>Just then her head struck against the roof of the hall: in
fact she was now more than nine feet high, and she at once took
up the little golden key and hurried off to the garden door.</p>
<p>Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying down on one
side, to look through into the garden with one eye; but to get
through was more hopeless than ever: she sat down and began to
cry again.</p>
<p>'You ought to be ashamed of yourself,' said Alice, 'a great
girl like you,' (she might well say this), 'to go on crying in
this way! Stop this moment, I tell you!' But she went on all the
same, shedding gallons of tears, until there was a large pool all
round her, about four inches deep and reaching half down the
hall.</p>
<p>After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the
distance, and she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming.
It was the White Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with a
pair of white kid gloves in one hand and a large fan in the
other: he came trotting along in a great hurry, muttering to
himself as he came, 'Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess! Oh!
<i>won't</i> she be savage if I've kept her waiting!' Alice felt
so desperate that she was ready to ask help of any one; so, when
the Rabbit came near her, she began, in a low, timid voice, 'If
you please, sir--' The Rabbit started violently, dropped the
white kid gloves and the fan, and skurried away into the darkness
as hard as he could go.</p>
<p>Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very
hot, she kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking:
'Dear, dear! How queer everything is to-day! And yesterday things
went on just as usual. I wonder if I've been changed in the
night? Let me think: <i>was</i> I the same when I got up this
morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little
different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is, Who in
the world am I? Ah, <i>that's</i> the great puzzle!' And she
began thinking over all the children she knew that were of the
same age as herself, to see if she could have been changed for
any of them.</p>
<p>'I'm sure I'm not Ada,' she said, 'for her hair goes in such
long ringlets, and mine doesn't go in ringlets at all; and I'm
sure I can't be Mabel, for I know all sorts of things, and she,
oh! she knows such a very little! Besides, <i>she's</i> she, and
<i>I'm</i> I, and--oh dear, how puzzling it all is! I'll try if I
know all the things I used to know. Let me see: four times five
is twelve, and four times six is thirteen, and four times seven
is--oh dear! I shall never get to twenty at that rate! However,
the Multiplication Table doesn't signify: let's try Geography.
London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of Rome,
and Rome--no, <i>that's</i> all wrong, I'm certain! I must have
been changed for Mabel! I'll try and say "<i>How doth the
little--</i>"' and she crossed her hands on her lap as if she
were saying lessons, and began to repeat it, but her voice
sounded hoarse and strange, and the words did not come the same
as they used to do:--</p>
<blockquote><i>'How doth the little crocodile</i>
<p><i>Improve his shining tail,</i></p>
<p><i>And pour the waters of the Nile</i></p>
<p><i>On every golden scale!</i></p>
<p><i><br>
'How cheerfully he seems to grin,</i></p>
<p><i>How neatly spread his claws,</i></p>
<p><i>And welcome little fishes in</i></p>
<p><i>With gently smiling jaws!</i>'</p>
</blockquote>
<p>'I'm sure those are not the right words,' said poor Alice, and
her eyes filled with tears again as she went on, 'I must be Mabel
after all, and I shall have to go and live in that poky little
house, and have next to no toys to play with, and oh! ever so
many lessons to learn! No, I've made up my mind about it; if I'm
Mabel, I'll stay down here! It'll be no use their putting their
heads down and saying "Come up again, dear!" I shall only look up
and say "Who am I then? Tell me that first, and then, if I like
being that person, I'll come up: if not, I'll stay down here till
I'm somebody else"--but, oh dear!' cried Alice, with a sudden
burst of tears, 'I do wish they <i>would</i> put their heads
down! I am so <i>very</i> tired of being all alone here!'</p>
<p>As she said this she looked down at her hands, and was
surprised to see that she had put on one of the Rabbit's little
white kid gloves while she was talking. 'How <i>can</i> I have
done that?' she thought. 'I must be growing small again.' She got
up and went to the table to measure herself by it, and found
that, as nearly as she could guess, she was now about two feet
high, and was going on shrinking rapidly: she soon found out that
the cause of this was the fan she was holding, and she dropped it
hastily, just in time to avoid shrinking away altogether.</p>
<p>'That <i>was</i> a narrow escape!' said Alice, a good deal
frightened at the sudden change, but very glad to find herself
still in existence; 'and now for the garden!' and she ran with
all speed back to the little door: but, alas! the little door was
shut again, and the little golden key was lying on the glass
table as before, 'and things are worse than ever,' thought the
poor child, 'for I never was so small as this before, never! And
I declare it's too bad, that it is!'</p>
<p>As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another
moment, splash! she was up to her chin in salt water. Her first
idea was that she had somehow fallen into the sea, 'and in that
case I can go back by railway,' she said to herself. (Alice had
been to the seaside once in her life, and had come to the general
conclusion, that wherever you go to on the English coast you find
a number of bathing machines in the sea, some children digging in
the sand with wooden spades, then a row of lodging houses, and
behind them a railway station.) However, she soon made out that
she was in the pool of tears which she had wept when she was nine
feet high.</p>
<p>'I wish I hadn't cried so much!' said Alice, as she swam
about, trying to find her way out. 'I shall be punished for it
now, I suppose, by being drowned in my own tears! That
<i>will</i> be a queer thing, to be sure! However, everything is
queer to-day.'</p>
<p>Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a
little way off, and she swam nearer to make out what it was: at
first she thought it must be a walrus or hippopotamus, but then
she remembered how small she was now, and she soon made out that
it was only a mouse that had slipped in like herself.</p>
<p>'Would it be of any use, now,' thought Alice, 'to speak to
this mouse? Everything is so out-of-the-way down here, that I
should think very likely it can talk: at any rate, there's no
harm in trying.' So she began: 'O Mouse, do you know the way out
of this pool? I am very tired of swimming about here, O Mouse!'
(Alice thought this must be the right way of speaking to a mouse:
she had never done such a thing before, but she remembered having
seen in her brother's Latin Grammar, 'A mouse--of a mouse--to a
mouse--a mouse--O mouse!') The Mouse looked at her rather
inquisitively, and seemed to her to wink with one of its little
eyes, but it said nothing.</p>
<p>'Perhaps it doesn't understand English,' thought Alice; 'I
daresay it's a French mouse, come over with William the
Conqueror.' (For, with all her knowledge of history, Alice had no
very clear notion how long ago anything had happened.) So she
began again: 'Ou est ma chatte?' which was the first sentence in
her French lesson-book. The Mouse gave a sudden leap out of the
water, and seemed to quiver all over with fright. 'Oh, I beg your
pardon!' cried Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt the poor
animal's feelings. 'I quite forgot you didn't like cats.'</p>
<p>'Not like cats!' cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionate
voice. 'Would <i>you</i> like cats if you were me?'</p>
<p>'Well, perhaps not,' said Alice in a soothing tone: 'don't be
angry about it. And yet I wish I could show you our cat Dinah: I
think you'd take a fancy to cats if you could only see her. She
is such a dear quiet thing,' Alice went on, half to herself, as
she swam lazily about in the pool, 'and she sits purring so
nicely by the fire, licking her paws and washing her face--and
she is such a nice soft thing to nurse--and she's such a capital
one for catching mice--oh, I beg your pardon!' cried Alice again,
for this time the Mouse was bristling all over, and she felt
certain it must be really offended. 'We won't talk about her any
more if you'd rather not.'</p>
<p>'We indeed!' cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the
end of his tail. 'As if I would talk on such a subject! Our
family always <i>hated</i> cats: nasty, low, vulgar things! Don't
let me hear the name again!'</p>
<p>'I won't indeed!' said Alice, in a great hurry to change the
subject of conversation. 'Are you--are you fond--of--of dogs?'
The Mouse did not answer, so Alice went on eagerly: 'There is
such a nice little dog near our house I should like to show you!
A little bright-eyed terrier, you know, with oh, such long curly
brown hair! And it'll fetch things when you throw them, and it'll
sit up and beg for its dinner, and all sorts of things--I can't
remember half of them--and it belongs to a farmer, you know, and
he says it's so useful, it's worth a hundred pounds! He says it
kills all the rats and--oh dear!' cried Alice in a sorrowful
tone, 'I'm afraid I've offended it again!' For the Mouse was
swimming away from her as hard as it could go, and making quite a
commotion in the pool as it went.</p>
<p>So she called softly after it, 'Mouse dear! Do come back
again, and we won't talk about cats or dogs either, if you don't
like them!' When the Mouse heard this, it turned round and swam
slowly back to her: its face was quite pale (with passion, Alice
thought), and it said in a low trembling voice, 'Let us get to
the shore, and then I'll tell you my history, and you'll
understand why it is I hate cats and dogs.'</p>
<p>It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded
with the birds and animals that had fallen into it: there were a
Duck and a Dodo, a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curious
creatures. Alice led the way, and the whole party swam to the
shore.</p>
<hr>
<h3 align="Center">CHAPTER III</h3>
<h3 align="Center">A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale</h3>
<p>They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the
bank--the birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their
fur clinging close to them, and all dripping wet, cross, and
uncomfortable.</p>
<p>The first question of course was, how to get dry again: they
had a consultation about this, and after a few minutes it seemed
quite natural to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with
them, as if she had known them all her life. Indeed, she had
quite a long argument with the Lory, who at last turned sulky,
and would only say, 'I am older than you, and must know better';
and this Alice would not allow without knowing how old it was,
and, as the Lory positively refused to tell its age, there was no
more to be said.</p>
<p>At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority
among them, called out, 'Sit down, all of you, and listen to me!
<i>I'll</i> soon make you dry enough!' They all sat down at once,
in a large ring, with the Mouse in the middle. Alice kept her
eyes anxiously fixed on it, for she felt sure she would catch a
bad cold if she did not get dry very soon.</p>
<p>'Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, 'are you all
ready? This is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you
please! "William the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the
pope, was soon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders,
and had been of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest.
Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria--"'</p>
<p>'Ugh!' said the Lory, with a shiver.</p>
<p>'I beg your pardon!' said the Mouse, frowning, but very
politely: 'Did you speak?'</p>
<p>'Not I!' said the Lory hastily.</p>
<p>'I thought you did,' said the Mouse. '--I proceed. "Edwin and
Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him:
and even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found
it advisable--"'</p>
<p>'Found <i>what</i>?' said the Duck.</p>
<p>'Found <i>it</i>,' the Mouse replied rather crossly: 'of
course you know what "it" means.'</p>
<p>'I know what "it" means well enough, when <i>I</i> find a
thing,' said the Duck: 'it's generally a frog or a worm. The
question is, what did the archbishop find?'</p>
<p>The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on,
'"--found it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William
and offer him the crown. William's conduct at first was moderate.
But the insolence of his Normans--" How are you getting on now,
my dear?' it continued, turning to Alice as it spoke.</p>
<p>'As wet as ever,' said Alice in a melancholy tone: 'it doesn't
seem to dry me at all.'</p>
<p>'In that case,' said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, 'I
move that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more
energetic remedies--'</p>
<p>'Speak English!' said the Eaglet. 'I don't know the meaning of
half those long words, and, what's more, I don't believe you do
either!' And the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile: some
of the other birds tittered audibly.</p>
<p>'What I was going to say,' said the Dodo in an offended tone,
'was, that the best thing to get us dry would be a
Caucus-race.'</p>
<p>'What <i>is</i> a Caucus-race?' said Alice; not that she
wanted much to know, but the Dodo had paused as if it thought
that <i>somebody</i> ought to speak, and no one else seemed
inclined to say anything.</p>
<p>'Why,' said the Dodo, 'the best way to explain it is to do
it.' (And, as you might like to try the thing yourself, some
winter day, I will tell you how the Dodo managed it.)</p>
<p>First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, ('the
exact shape doesn't matter,' it said,) and then all the party
were placed along the course, here and there. There was no 'One,
two, three, and away,' but they began running when they liked,
and left off when they liked, so that it was not easy to know
when the race was over. However, when they had been running half
an hour or so, and were quite dry again, the Dodo suddenly called
out 'The race is over!' and they all crowded round it, panting,
and asking, 'But who has won?'</p>
<p>This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal
of thought, and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed
upon its forehead (the position in which you usually see
Shakespeare, in the pictures of him), while the rest waited in
silence. At last the Dodo said, '<i>everybody</i> has won, and
<i>all</i> must have prizes.'</p>
<p>'But who is to give the prizes?' quite a chorus of voices
asked.</p>
<p>'Why, <i>she</i>, of course,' said the Dodo, pointing to Alice
with one finger; and the whole party at once crowded round her,
calling out in a confused way, 'Prizes! Prizes!'</p>
<p>Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand
in her pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits, (luckily the salt
water had not got into it), and handed them round as prizes.
There was exactly one a-piece all round.</p>
<p>'But she must have a prize herself, you know,' said the
Mouse.</p>
<p>'Of course,' the Dodo replied very gravely. 'What else have
you got in your pocket?' he went on, turning to Alice.</p>
<p>'Only a thimble,' said Alice sadly.</p>
<p>'Hand it over here,' said the Dodo.</p>
<p>Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo
solemnly presented the thimble, saying 'We beg your acceptance of
this elegant thimble'; and, when it had finished this short
speech, they all cheered.</p>
<p>Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all looked
so grave that she did not dare to laugh; and, as she could not
think of anything to say, she simply bowed, and took the thimble,
looking as solemn as she could.</p>
<p>The next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused some noise
and confusion, as the large birds complained that they could not
taste theirs, and the small ones choked and had to be patted on
the back. However, it was over at last, and they sat down again
in a ring, and begged the Mouse to tell them something more.</p>
<p>'You promised to tell me your history, you know,' said Alice,
'and why it is you hate--C and D,' she added in a whisper, half
afraid that it would be offended again.</p>
<p>'Mine is a long and a sad tale!' said the Mouse, turning to
Alice, and sighing.</p>
<p>'It <i>is</i> a long tail, certainly,' said Alice, looking down with
wonder at the Mouse's tail; 'but why do you call it sad?' And she
kept on puzzling about it while the Mouse was speaking, so that
her idea of the tale was something like this:--</p>
<p>'Fury said to a mouse, That he met in the house, "Let us both
go to law: I will prosecute <i>you</i>. --Come, I'll take no
denial; We must have a trial: For really this morning I've
nothing to do." Said the mouse to the cur, "Such a trial, dear
Sir, With no jury or judge, would be wasting our breath." "I'll be
judge, I'll be jury," said cunning old Fury: "I'll try the whole
cause, and condemn you to death."'</p>
<p>'You are not attending!' said the Mouse to Alice severely.
'What are you thinking of?'</p>
<p>'I beg your pardon,' said Alice very humbly: 'you had got to
the fifth bend, I think?'</p>
<p>'I had <i>not</i>!' cried the Mouse, sharply and very
angrily.</p>
<p>'A knot!' said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and
looking anxiously about her. 'Oh, do let me help to undo it!'</p>
<p>'I shall do nothing of the sort,' said the Mouse, getting up
and walking away. 'You insult me by talking such nonsense!'</p>
<p>'I didn't mean it!' pleaded poor Alice. 'But you're so easily
offended, you know!'</p>
<p>The Mouse only growled in reply.</p>
<p>'Please come back and finish your story!' Alice called after
it; and the others all joined in chorus, 'Yes, please do!' but
the Mouse only shook its head impatiently, and walked a little
quicker.</p>
<p>'What a pity it wouldn't stay!' sighed the Lory, as soon as it
was quite out of sight; and an old Crab took the opportunity of
saying to her daughter 'Ah, my dear! Let this be a lesson to you
never to lose <i>your</i> temper!' 'Hold your tongue, Ma!' said
the young Crab, a little snappishly. 'You're enough to try the
patience of an oyster!'</p>
<p>'I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!' said Alice aloud,
addressing nobody in particular. 'She'd soon fetch it back!'</p>
<p>'And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?'
said the Lory.</p>
<p>Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about
her pet: 'Dinah's our cat. And she's such a capital one for
catching mice you can't think! And oh, I wish you could see her
after the birds! Why, she'll eat a little bird as soon as look at
it!'</p>
<p>This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party.
Some of the birds hurried off at once: one old Magpie began
wrapping itself up very carefully, remarking, 'I really must be
getting home; the night-air doesn't suit my throat!' and a Canary
called out in a trembling voice to its children, 'Come away, my
dears! It's high time you were all in bed!' On various pretexts
they all moved off, and Alice was soon left alone.</p>
<p>'I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah!' she said to herself in a
melancholy tone. 'Nobody seems to like her, down here, and I'm
sure she's the best cat in the world! Oh, my dear Dinah! I wonder
if I shall ever see you any more!' And here poor Alice began to
cry again, for she felt very lonely and low-spirited. In a little
while, however, she again heard a little pattering of footsteps
in the distance, and she looked up eagerly, half hoping that the
Mouse had changed his mind, and was coming back to finish his
story.</p>
<hr>
<h3 align="Center">CHAPTER IV</h3>
<h3 align="Center">The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill</h3>
<p>It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and
looking anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something;
and she heard it muttering to itself 'The Duchess! The Duchess!
Oh my dear paws! Oh my fur and whiskers! She'll get me executed,
as sure as ferrets are ferrets! Where <i>can</i> I have dropped
them, I wonder?' Alice guessed in a moment that it was looking
for the fan and the pair of white kid gloves, and she very
good-naturedly began hunting about for them, but they were
nowhere to be seen--everything seemed to have changed since her
swim in the pool, and the great hall, with the glass table and
the little door, had vanished completely.</p>
<p>Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about,
and called out to her in an angry tone, 'Why, Mary Ann, what
<i>are</i> you doing out here? Run home this moment, and fetch me
a pair of gloves and a fan! Quick, now!' And Alice was so much
frightened that she ran off at once in the direction it pointed
to, without trying to explain the mistake it had made.</p>
<p>'He took me for his housemaid,' she said to herself as she
ran. 'How surprised he'll be when he finds out who I am! But I'd
better take him his fan and gloves--that is, if I can find them.'
As she said this, she came upon a neat little house, on the door
of which was a bright brass plate with the name 'W. RABBIT'
engraved upon it. She went in without knocking, and hurried
upstairs, in great fear lest she should meet the real Mary Ann,
and be turned out of the house before she had found the fan and