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GA Review

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Reviewer: MrLinkinPark333 (talk · contribs) 23:56, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]


Hey there. Since both of your nominations are in the 1-3 month window of outstanding nominations, might as well review one of them for the GA Drive. As per usual, if you have any questions/comments, feel free to mention them in the review. Also, I'm going to try to organize this review a bit and state which criteria a point has issues with. Therefore, it'd help me determine which of the criteria needs the most or least work with.

Group stages

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Group A checkY

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Group B checkY

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Group C checkY

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Group D

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Leftover points for the second part of the review

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Like above so the remaining points don't get missed. These are points I've mentioned above that are left to do:

  • Group A: 1) Possible original research as to whether it was the sixth try or six darts that allowed Stompé to defeat Klaasen. 2) "outer" needs to be removed for Stompé's double seven ring finish. 3) Grammar issue about the sentence that describes Scholten defeated Klassen to get the quarterfinal entry.checkY
  • Group B: Just found 2 more grammar issues (one i'm not sure) in the match between Lewis & Jenkins. Missed them the first time :/ checkY
  • Group C: Minor grammar point about Van Barneveld defeating Van Gerwen to gain a quarter final entry.checkY
  • Group D: 1) minor grammr point with Whitlock's match against Anderson 2) Clarification that it was the double 16 ring, not double 13. 3) "Outer" needs to be removed from the double 16 ring per point #2.

Quarter-finals

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P1 checkY

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P2 checkY

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  • Grammar: "The first four legs were shared, which included a 170 checkout" - Sounds a bit choppy after introudcuing the quarterfinal betwween Van Barneveld and Scholten.information Note: see broad point below.
  • Broad: "The first four legs were shared; Van Barneveld made a 170 checkout in leg three." - only mentioning Van Barneveld in the first four legs seems incomplete. Could Scholten be mentioned as well? checkY --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 23:11, 18 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Original Research" "Van Barneveld achieved a 156 checkout and finishes on the double 16, 18, 6, 8 and 19 rings" - While Van Barneveld did hit the double 18 ring in leg 6, he did not achieve the 156 checkout, from my reading of "returns after missing double 18 for a 156 finish to hit the same bed". Also, it's redundant as the missed 156 checkout and hit double 18 ring were the same leg. If he did achieve the 156 checkout, the double 18 ring needs to be omitted or merged with the 156 checkout. If he missed the 156 checkout, then it needs to be removed. Thoughts?checkY
  • Clarity: "Van Barneveld observed his performance and said it was important to maintain his finishing against Van Der Voort" - I think his performance up to the semi-finals is needed from his quote. This sentence sounds like there's a gap in it.checkY
  • Grammar: "were won by Lewis and Anderson the next four" -< "were won by Lewis and Anderson won the next four" or "were won by Lewis before Anderson won the next four"checkY

Semi finals/final

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P1

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  • Clarity: "won the first four legs from checkouts of 89 and 86 and finishes on the double 20 and 8 rings." - true. In chronological order for Van Barneveld it was: 89 checkout, double 20 ring, 86 checkout, double 8 ring. So, you might want to reorder this as the sentence suggests the 86 checkout came before the double 20 ring, but it's the other way around.checkY
  • Clarity/Grammar: "Van Barneveld took three legs in a row to win 8–2 and enter the final; he failed to complete a nine-dart finish in the ninth leg" - this sentence sounds like two separate things even with the semi colon. Maybe a slight reword/reordering to connect the wins in 8-10 with the failed nine dart finish in leg 9 two could help.checkY
  • Grammar? "Both players shared the first six legs before Taylor took leg seven on the double 16 ring after Anderson failed to hit the bullseye ring for a 130 checkout." - not sure about this with both "before" and "after". I think two sentences could work better for this. If you disagree, let me know.checkY
  • Clarity: "Taylor took a three-leg lead on double 20 and 8 finishes and Anderson took leg 11 on the double 20 ring" - leg 10 is missing here as the three leg lead happened in leg 9. Though Taylor did take leg 10 too, so 3-leg win could be swapped to 4-leg lead if you want. Provided that what happened in leg 10 is included before Anderson's win in leg 11.information Note: see below.

P2 + 3 checkY

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Lead/infobox checkY

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  • Out of scope: *"the 15-time world champion" - don't think this is really needed in the lead. It's appropriate in the background but i dunno about the lead itself.checkY
  • Clairty: " improving the record from the 2010 Premier League Darts final." - yep, but it needs to be clarified it was his record.checkY
  • Grammar: "Taylor won his group with victories over Adrian Lewis and Terry Jenkins, beat James Wade in the quarter-finals and Gary Anderson in the semi-finals" - I think this needs an introductory part like "Before his match with van Barneveld" to connect the final with the rest of the matches. Otherwise the final sounds like it's missing even though it's is mentioned beforehand.checkY
  • Original Research: " a checkout of 170 in the third leg of his quarter-final match against Roland Scholten, the highest in the tournament." - yes Van Barneveld had a 170 checkout. However, the prose does not mention it was the highest of all checkouts. If this is confirmed in a source, it'd need to be added/cited in the prose to back up the lead. This also effects the infobox.checkY --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 23:42, 20 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Overall

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