Capturing Your Character's Voice

Have you received feedback from your critique partners that says something like:

Love the story, but I'm just not connecting with you main character.

or

The plot is great, but the voice isn't coming through.

or

Exciting chapter! But... The character seemed a little flat.

If you have, then a unique voice in your manuscript might be missing!

What should you do?!?

Rewrite the entire novel?

Rewrite all the dialogue?

Rewrite the chapter?

Take a deep breath. And before you hit the delete button, try one of these.

1. After the deep breath, go here. Dig deep and discover your main character. If you have multiple POV characters, you'll need to do this for all of them. Then take another deep breath, drink some coffee (or favorite beverage of choice) and get to work giving your character a voice of their own!

2. If above doesn't help, try a character interview. Here's one. Or make up your own. What do you want to know about your character that your character isn't telling you? Take a couple of days, week, a month to sift through the possibilities. After all, you're the creator!

3. Chat with a trusted critique partner or writing mentor. Have them give your WIP a look-see. Ask for advice. 

4. Call your mom. She'll tell you you're awesome. 

5. Try, try, try again until you get right. You're the best judge of your work. If you're not satisfied, give it another go! Don't give up!

We love to hear from you! What do you do to deepen character development? Do you have a favorite character chart? Has your WIP voice fallen flat?

When One Change Makes All the Difference

Well, hi there! It’s been a while since I’ve posted, but I come bearing something preeeeetty awesome.

It's a real, live book! And I wrote it!

I really, really love this book. A lot. Like, a lot, a lot. You know how writers often refer to stories as “books of their heart”? That’s what PLAY ON is for me. But a lot of work has gone into this little book over the past two years, from its original draft to the final product. And that's what we're going to talk about today.

Take a look at this picture:

Never mind the Lego photobombs. Those Post-It tabs? After a year's worth of editing, those are the only scenes left over from the original draft. In case you can't tell, that's 13 scenes. Out of, um, a lot.

I’ve written before about whether we want our stories to be good enough, or great, and this is kind of a continuation of that post. I’d say that most of the time, our first drafts are anything but great. There are some people who write AMAZING first drafts (and those people clearly have the favor of the writing gods), but for the most part, our work can be improved.

While I was waiting for my first edit letter after selling PLAY ON, my editor called me and asked, “How do you feel about cutting (insert major character here)?” My initial reaction, to be quite honest:

She explained her reasoning (which made complete and total sense), and after sleeping on it, I agreed, even though it meant essentially rewriting the story. Because, as I quickly learned, sometimes we have to part with beloved characters/scenes/subplots to really bring out the heart of a story.

She saw PLAY ON not for what it already was, but for what it could be. And that’s why having outside eyes on our work is SO important. We become so close to our stories that we often can’t see something that may be keeping it from reaching its full potential.

So. Let’s say that someone—a CP, a beta reader, or even you—suggests that a major change needs to happen to make your story better. Maybe a character needs to go. Maybe it’s a chapter. Maybe you need to open a blank doc and get to re-writing (points to above picture). Here are a few things to keep in mind:

- Be open to change.

- Think about what really matters in your story.

-  Decide where you want your characters to go, and how you want them to get there.

- Don’t be afraid of the delete button. (And if you are afraid, create a separate doc to place all your scraps in.)

I know how difficult it is to even consider a change that may mean more work, but when you end up with a story that you're so incredibly proud of? It's worth it.

How to LOVE critiques

First things first -- I LOVE my critique partners. They are awesomeness incarnate. They trudge through my WIPs with smiley faces, great suggestions, and most of all with a red pen!

SO if you're struggling to understand someone's red ink or comments, here's how I learned to appreciate critiques.

1. Realize you are receiving someone else's opinion.

A great quote to go along with that -- "No two persons ever read the same book." ~ Edmond Wilson. This might seem difficult, but really, it isn't. Take everything with a grain of salt or sugar! You are not required to follow everyone's advice. The story you're writing is, above all else, yours! That said, if three CPs say the same thing, it might need changing. :)

2. If you don't understand a comment, ask!

Don't be shy to chat with your CPs. They want to explain their suggestions, I promise. If something is making you scratch your head, send an email or call them up. Or if you're in a group with time limitations, ask if you can talk to them after all the critiques are finished.

3. Take a deep breath and realize you don't know everything.

This goes for everyone! Even if you've written three thousand books, you can still learn something new. Humility wins out over pride every time. Take a break from your WIP, whether it be a nap or a good night's sleep (or a month or two!) and look at it with fresh eyes. Then you might see what others are saying.

4. Be willing to revise. Or not...

I think all writers understand that we can revise and rewrite a story to death. And sometimes over-revising kills voice and originality.

5. Say, "Thank you!"

With or without the exclamation point. :) Saying thanks is not only good for you, but lets your CPs know that you truly appreciate the time they spent reading and critiquing your words.

6. Pay it forward.

Do your best when critiquing the words of others. And remember to sandwich! Compliment-> sage advice-> smiley face.

As always, thanks for reading! We love hearing from you! Share your wonderful ideas on critique partners or horror stories. :)

Is It Done Yet?

Why is overediting not recognized by MSWord? Does that mean it's like drinking water, eating vegetables, and walking--it's pretty dang impossible to do too much of these things?

My second manuscript got some early attention from some very kind persons in the agenting and publishing world. They only saw ten pages mind you. But something about my words sparked their interest. The novel wasn't completed yet, so I was encouraged to take my time and send it to them when it was ready.

Well, once I typed The End, I sent the novel off to my Beta Readers and went over it line, by line, by line...  I made sure it was grammatically and mechanically shiny. I took all the feedback I received and implemented it. Without question. I even cleaned those first ten pages because, hey, even though they were liked, surely they weren't pretty enough.

I never heard from the publisher, but the amazing agent (who had it in her heart to look at the full on two different occasions from me) nicely told me that somewhere in all those edits, I quit trusting my character's voice. I had to separate myself from the book for several months. Then, I took out the ten pages I initially wrote and compared them to those edited pages. They were as if they were written by another person. I'd turned my snarky teen and her slightly uptight boyfriend into a butterfly and a marshmallow.

As I pound away at my work in progress, I try to implement the things I've learned through trial and error on my other manuscripts.  Now that I'm older and, hopefully, slightly wiser, I will edit, edit, edit... but I'll also remember why I wrote something a certain way to begin with.  

photo credit: Proofreading marks example via photopin (license)

4 Tips To Get Your Story Back On Track

Every choice your character makes leads to whatever is going to happen next. As an author—the evil mustache-twirling mastermind behind the story – figuring out what that thing is will undoubtedly fall somewhere between semi-perplexing and bang head against the wall until your eyes cross. And it will happen over and over and over again, because what are stories if not a constant string of What Comes Nexts?

So how do we wade through the murky territory of story decisions without turning into Artax in the Swamp of Sadness—overwhelmed and despairing that we’ll never come up with a kick ass plot?

I won’t tell you that I know the 7 words that will make a woman love you* how to eradicate Swamp of Sadness Syndrome, but I can share a few tips that may help you out if your story gets stuck.

1)      Goals & Motivation.

In the current scene, what does your character want and why do they want it? This is the first thing I look at when my characters start bumbling around and the plot feels like it’s going nowhere. A good amount of the time, I’ve lost sight of what the characters want and why any of it matters. Making sure this is clear on the page and focusing your scene around it will go a long, long way toward getting things back on track.

2)      Conflict.

If you have lost sight of your characters goals and motivations, chances are there’s not a lot of conflict going on either. Things can’t really oppose your characters in a meaningful way if they aren’t actively working toward something. Once you’ve reacquainted yourself (and the story) to # 1, it’s a lot easier to find inherent conflicts to torture your characters with.

3)      Stakes.

Your characters can have a goal and firm motivations for achieving it. Things can stand in their way — even big scary things with lots of sharp teeth – but if your characters have nothing to lose if they fail, any conflict you establish will feel contrived. The reader won’t care whether the characters achieve the scene goal. So, if  you don’t a ton of work setting up Goals, Motivation, and Conflict but you feel like your scene is still falling flat, it might be time to reexamine what your characters have at stake if they fail and make sure that it’s coming across on the page.

4)      Putting it all together.

In my opinion, this can be the hardest part because on the scene level, there might be several options goals, motivations, conflicts, and stakes. If I’m going to get really, truly stuck, there is where and when it happens.

So how do you decide THE BEST course of action? If you’re anything like me, it’s right about now that you:

* stare at the screen

* write a few words

* stare anxiously at what you wrote

* pound the delete key

* gorge self on *insert favorite snack and/or wine here*

* wash, rinse, repeat, and/or decide that you totally suck at life and go watch TV instead

* sink into the Swamp of Sadness

Here’s what I’ve figured out, though. Your stuckness (yeah, I know stuckness isn’t a real word) isn’t for lack of NOT know what comes next. Which, is actually a pretty awesome problem to have, because nine times out of ten there are bunches of possibilities floating around in your head. I call this brain freeze. It’s a state of being overwhelmed by too many potential story paths, and the only solution is to sit down and sort it all out.  

This is when I bust out the pen and paper and move away from the computer. Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s time for the What If list.

I don’t why, but I have to write “What if…” before every idea I have, like a promise to myself that whatever I come up with is only a suggestion that I’m in no way obligated to run with. Now I’m ready to put it all down, bullet point style. What if character makes X decision? Then I note the possible outcomes. Or what about if she makes X decision instead? Then I note those outcomes. I do this for all the possible choices I can think up.

Next, I pick the most intriguing options and bullet point their consequences, conflicts, and what my character stands to gain or lose from making that choice. Eventually, I find myself with one or two options that really take off. Connections between what I’ve already written and what I’ve outlined for future chapters are made.

If, by the end of this process, there’s still more than one really good choice, I evaluate each based on steps 1, 2, & 3 in relation to the current scene and also the story as a whole. Which path aligns itself more closely to the direction I want the plot to take?  99.9% of the time, I’ve not only worked out what I need to happen next, but I can’t wait to start writing it!

*Bonus points if you get the reference and say so in the comments. J

                         

Staying Committed

Snowflake via Alexey Kljatov

The HOLIDAYS are upon us! With all that goes on with kids and their schools, work parties, friend parties, traveling, vacations, and the shopping, it's hard to stay focused and committed to writing and editing. Since NaNo, I've made many lofty goals for revising only to be waylaid by sickness, surprise family emergencies, and doctor visits. My goals have basically been dashed to pieces. Just looking at my to-do lists make me want to pull all my hair out.

Here are some helpful tips if you are experiencing the same kind of busy life and insane scheduling:

•  Keep breathing. This helps a LOT. 

• Count your blessings and remember that good things can happen! This makes a smile appear on my face. 

• Divide and conquer! Instead of revising 10 chapters in a week, cut it half, and then maybe cut it in half again if need be. Stress is not a writer's BFF, unless it is. Procrastinators unite! 

• Prioritize. Drop the extra baggage whenever and wherever possible. If it can wait, sneak 20 minutes of writing in! 

• Practice focusing. As a mom, this can be difficult for me. I have noodle-brain syndrome and think of a million things at once. Try honing in on that ms by making a playlist or reread the previous couple of paragraphs to get your mind set on the words.

• Ask for help! You'd be surprised how many people want you to succeed in your endeavors! Let them be a part of it by wrapping some gifts or picking up some stocking stuffers for you. Or ask for a night or two of peace and quiet as your holiday gift! 

• Don't fret. Eventually, things get done. You'd be surprised how often I feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water and then it's New Years! We can do this! I believe in you!

So, dare I ask what your goals are during the holidays? Please share!

Happy Holidays!!

Just do it

WRITE.

I tell myself this every day. And most days, I do. Some days, I don't. As a writer, if I don't, then I feel a sense of... undoneness. I know that is not a word, but that's how I feel. Like I didn't do what I was supposed to do. Like I put all the clothes and detergent in the washer and forgot to shut the lid.

I had a BLAST at WriteOnCon last week. I met new writers, cleaned up my query, 1st 250 words, 1st five pages, and that's writing. Rewriting, revising, editing--whatever you want to call it. What I missed? Writing something new. Writing something that I haven't thought of before. I guess the words were, technically, new because I hadn't put them together in that order yet. What I really think I missed the new idea. The next project. The next novel my brain is going to go crazy over.

Then, I read this on writing by the fabulous Victoria Marini. Encouragement, yes! Am I going to make some goals that will fall apart? Probably. But I want to write. I love it. Need it. Crave it. If I don't do it, I'm not me. It took me years to figure that out. That somehow, in my brain, people I don't know and don't exist show up and talk about their lives. Their situations. Their loss. Their love. Their pain. I want to listen. I want to write about it.

Will you join me?

How about you? What do you feel after a conference? Elated? Dejected? Tell me. I want to know. :)

Become An Honorary Revision Warrior

We have something to CELEBRATE! Revision Warriors has reached 20,000 page views. Wahoooo! 

I know, right?! TWENTY THOUSAND is a big number.

But wait, there's more! Our very own, super fabulous RW'er, Michelle Smith, just released the cover of her book Play On due out in April 2015. Show Michelle some love and add it to your TBR list: Goodreads

To show our how much we appreciate everyone’s support, we want to invite two people to become honorary revision warriors for a day. Whoop, whoop! *fires confetti cannon*

At the bottom of this post, there’s a Rafflecopter widget thingy (totally the official name, btw. ;) ). You can sign up anytime between now and Sunday, July 27th at Noon ET, and we’ll pick two winners that’ll receive a 3 page critique from a mix of revision warriors. Click here to check out our bio’s.

Fun, right?

Now for the official stuff:


• Critique will be of the first three double spaced pages of your manuscript. We’ll ask the winners to submit their pages within 72 hours after notification.

• Completed manuscripts and WIP’s alike are welcome.

• Your pages with our comments will appear on the blog. Critique is learning process for everyone, not just the author receiving feedback, and not everyone has amazing critique partners. We want to show what that process looks like. If you’re not okay with your pages appearing publicly, please do not enter.

• Blog readers will be encouraged to leave respectful, constructive comments. If that makes you uncomfortable, please do not enter. 

• Winners will be announced on the blog July 28th. We’ll also email winners with additional details, like how to get your pages to us. *Make sure you leave your email address with your entry * If we do not have your email address, or don’t hear back from you within 72 hours, another winner will be chosen. *

• Critique #1 will go live on the blog Monday August 11th and Critique #2 will be Monday August 18th.

• Because this is all about YOU, we want to make entering easy. Just leave a comment telling us you want to enter and fill out the Rafflecopter with your name and email. Tweeting and/or spreading the news about the giveaway is not required (but it is appreciated. hint, hint.) 

Again, we’ll contact the winners directly to discuss the who, when, and where, so please, please, please, make sure to leave your email.




Okay, on to today’s post. Because this blog about all things writing and revising, and we’re doing this fancy critique giveaway, I’m going to talk a little bit about critique groups. It’s kind of a big topic, so this is more like the tip of the iceberg, but if you're thinking about joining an established group or maybe starting your own, here are some things to think about.

Why are you seeking a critique group?

The obvious answer, of course, is to make your writing better. But can you dig deeper here? Better, how? Plot holes, character development, world building, dialog, pacing, grammar? Are any of these areas your specialty? Understanding your strengths, weakness, and what you hope to get out of a group, is a big step toward finding your people. And yes, my CP’s are definitely my people.  #CPLOVE, FTW

Once you know what your needs are and what you can offer others, here are some more things to consider:

 How much time can you dedicate to a group?

Joining or starting a critique group is a commitment, both of your time and the time of others. Respect that. Yes, sometimes life happens, but for a group to stick together long term, everyone involved is responsible for doing his or her part.

• How often does the group meet? Weekly, biweekly, etc.
• Will you meet in person or online to discuss critiques? If online, what service will you use? GChat, Google Hangout, Skype?
• Will there be written critiques? If so, how will those be handled?
• When is the submission deadline?
• When are critiques due?
• For written critiques, will you setup a Google or Yahoo group? Email only?
• Are there word count limits.


What can be submitted for critique?

• Will any genre be off limits?
• Any content restrictions?
• Are all categories accepted? A, NA, YA, MG, PB
• Are short stories, poetry, queries, and/or synopses acceptable for submission to the group?

How will online critiques be run?

• Is there a group leader?
• How will you ensure that time is used efficiently?
• Will you focus on big picture issues and leave nit picks and grammar for the author to read on their own?
• Is there a time limit for each critique?

Some final thoughts for critique-givers and receivers:

• In the end, only you know what is best for your story!  Use the comments that resonate with you and don’t worry about the rest.
• Critters, understand that a suggestion you gave may not be used, and that’s perfectly okay. Our job is to offer our help, not make another author’s story into something we would write ourselves.
• NEVER share another author’s work with anyone outside of the group. This one should go without saying, but I’ve heard horror stories so I’m throwing it in here.
• Be vocal.
o Be polite, but don’t be afraid to ask for what you need. You are responsible for making your writing better and getting the most out of your group. If you have specific areas you want feedback on, let the group members know.
o The opposite is also true—if you do not want certain types of critiques, make that clear with your submission. Ex: This is a first draft. Please don’t focus on grammar.
• And most importantly, respect your group members. I cannot stress this enough. Be kind, supportive, and constructive. Always.


Okay – that was way more than I meant to write, and it’s only the starting point! If you have any questions about joining or starting your own group, please ask in the comments. We’d love to help! Or if you have experiences about critiquing you’d like to share, we want to hear ‘em!

And without further ado, Rafflecopter widet thingy is below. Please don’t be shy about entering! We won’t bite, I promise.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

6 Tips for a Cleaner Manuscript

We all love all our words, don't we? But sometimes, things must be cut in order to fit our manuscripts into a certain word count, or maybe our critique partners are sobbing because there is too much AYKB (as you know Bob) and repetitive description.

Here are some ideas to make your manuscript shine! (Your readers will thank you!)

1. Make sure you have formatted correctly. The BASICS:

-12-pt Times New Roman black font
-one inch margins on all sides
-align left
-double space (no extra space between dialogue)
-single space after periods
-indent (5 spaces/ half inch) new paragraphs
-scene breaks are marked with a # in the center of the line
-align header to the right and include your last name/title (or key words)/page number except title page
-chapters begin on new pages about a third of the way down

Always check an agent's/publisher's site for more tips on how they want your ms formatted!

2. Unnecessary backstory. Yes, I know you want to tell me about your hero's birth, but is it necessary explain it all in the first 20 pages? Get to the action of the story that you're telling now. Backstory can be woven in and revealed as the story progresses if it is essential.

3. Repetitive details. This is a hard one. I'll give some examples.

Marsha sat at the diner booth and ordered a strawberry milkshake. 
"So, that's one strawberry milkshake," the waitress said.

-OR-

Sally walked into the hardware store. She scanned the isles looking for a wrench. The hardware clerk asked if she needed help finding anything. 

-OR-

Ned thought his situation was dire. He Ned was stuck in the canyon without water, food, or shade. There was no shade. No food. What was he supposed to do?

See? Some things don't need repeating. Usually these details are hidden within the same paragraph or on the same page. Trust your reader to understand the story, emotions, and details. This also helps with author intrusion. :)

4. Seek and destroy passive voice! Look for these words, mostly to-be verbs (was, were, are, that, etc.), and try to restructure your sentences to make them more active. Marlana wrote an awesome post about how to find passive sentences if you need more clarity.

You were not at work today. vs. You missed work today.
You must clean your room. vs. Clean your room.

5. Limit the amount of metaphors you use. Everyone enjoys a comparison of objects, but not every other sentence or paragraph. However, one of my critique partners pointed out that Mark Zusak used tons of metaphors in The Book Thief and got away with it. I concur. I hardly noticed them. So if you're Mark Zusak, you can use as many metaphorical passages as you desire. :)

6. As You Know Bob (AYKB)

"Douglas, did you see how the commander reacted to the new general? She nearly peed her pants."
"Yeah, Bob, I did see. I think she did wet her pants. I was at the back of the line when the general walked in though, so I might not have had the best view."
"Hey, Douglas, I think it was because of his large head. She couldn't contain the laughter."
"Sounds right, Bob. I saw her shoulders shaking."

Please don't write dialogue like this. Here's a rewrite without AYKB.

The general's head was shaped like a watermelon, stretching over his decorated shoulders. The commander could not laugh. Melon wasps stung any moving object.


How about you? Are you trending a new style of writing that your critique partners just don't get? Have you sent an ms out in 18-pt Kefa font in purple to an agent? We'd all like to know. ;)

Make Time To Do What You Love

We all get the same 24 hours a day. We mark the passing seconds, minutes, and hours almost obsessively. Seriously, take a second to think about how many clocks you have in your house—wall clocks, watches, phones, computers, oven, microwave, alarm clocks. There’s a clock in your car, there are electronic roadside signs displaying the time. It’s craziness!

So why it is so hard to accomplish everything you NEED to do and everything you WANT to do each day? “Time got away from me” is a favorite saying of mine, but how can time escape my attention when I'm constantly reminded of it? Why do I feel like there is never enough time for me to WRITE?

“I must govern the clock, 

not be governed by it.” 

~ Golda Meir

You only get one life. Shouldn’t the majority of it be spent doing the things you love? Here are a few things I do in hopes of making that happen.

Audiobooks

LibriVox  provides free audiobooks from the public domain that read by volunteers. How great is that?! Many classic books are available for download in several different formats; I have the app on my iphone, and I’ve listened to Jane Eyre and Pride and Prejudice during my commute to the day job. These are two books I’ve wanted to read for like… ever, and LibriVox made it possible. For free. And you can’t beat free, right?

I also subscribe to Audible and pay a monthly fee of $14.99, which gives me 1 credit every 30 days to download a current title. As much as I love physical books, I wouldn’t get to enjoy as many stories as I do if it weren’t for Audible. Now I listen to books while I’m cleaning the house, doing dishes, cooking dinner, driving to work, etc. 

“Much may be done in those little shreds and patches of time which every day produces, and which most men throw away.”

~ Charles Caleb Colton

Make use of the small blocks of time

There was a time, not so long ago, that I didn’t realize what I could accomplish during those 10 minute breaks I had at work, or the time I spent waiting during my son’s karate class. Now, during my breaks (thanks again to my iPhone) I read blogs, check emails, jot down ideas, and check my twitter & Facebook.

I have 45 minutes twice a week during my son’s karate class. That’s an hour and half a week, folks! When I was editing my WIP prior to querying, I sent a copy of it to my Kindle app so I could read and catch errors while sitting in the waiting area. Now I use it to brainstorm new story ideas.

“For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.”

~ Doug Larson

Put yourself first 

This is a big one, and it can be a toughie because we’re so used to making sure everyone else is taken care of before our own needs are met.  All you moms and dads with kids out there know EXACTLY what I mean.

Sometimes it’s okay to say NO to stuff.  No, this weekend the sleepover isn’t going to be at our house. No, this time you need to ask your friend’s parent for a ride to the mall. It really isn’t selfish to not do everything all the time. There must be some balance. Embrace it. Love it. Live it.

Treat writing like a job  

Even if you’re not paid to do it. My husband laughed at me the first time I told him that I work two jobs. He wasn’t trying to be mean or insensitive. He just didn’t get it at first. But when I began to take it seriously, he did too. Now, he respects the time I set aside for writing. But it had to start with me. Others won’t take you seriously if don’t give them a reason to.

Fact: writing is my second job. For now. One day, I hope will be my primary job. Why wouldn’t I treat it just as seriously as anything else I do?  Why should the thing I want most come second to everything else?  

Make a schedule if that works for you, but whatever you do, make it a priority. Don’t treat writing as something that can be pushed off to the side. 

 “Work is hard.

Distractions are plentiful.

And time is short.”

 ~ Adam Hochshild

I guess what it comes down to is that time isn’t going to find us; we have to make the time.  This may mean sacrifice, like watching less television or playing fewer video games (man, I love video games). Sometimes it means getting creative and finding ways to kill two birds with one stone, like listening to audiobooks while driving to the day job. 

In the end, we all choose what’s important to us and ultimately what we make time for.  Every time I choose to do something else over my writing, I ask myself if what I’m doing is more important.  Sometimes the answer is yes, but many times it’s no. Those are the times when I need to force my BICHOK (but in chair, hands on keyboard). 

Are the 24 hours we get each day enough for you?  Please share any tips you have to stretch the time and fit it all in.

Fast and Easy Edits

I'll be querying soon! YAY! Before I send out my manuscript, I'm going through it one more time to search for a couple of things. Here's the short list:

Overused words:

so, was, just, even, ever, then, really, had, and THAT.

Also, check out Rachel's post on crutch words to find the overused words unique to your ms!

Tighten by cutting unnecessary words:

Shrug my shoulders = I shrug

His heart beat in his chest = His heart beat

She yelled out = She yelled

They could see the river = They saw the river

Revise clunky Sentences:

Too many actions-

Moving toward the door, she smiled, waved, and walked down the stairs, eating a donut. = After opening the door, she smiled and waved. She finished eating the donut on the way down the stairs.

Redundant descriptions-

Clearly, they were too busy to hear the shouts of screaming children echoing from the walls within the building. = No one noticed the children's screams coming from inside the building.

Pronoun confusion-

She nailed her to the wall but she fought back and her hair pins fell into her hands. = Abby nailed Clair to the wall. Clair fought the restraint, loosening her hair pins. Abby caught the pins as they fell.

Attach detached body parts:

I threw my hands around her. = I hugged her.
Her eyes roamed his body. = She looked him up and down.
She rolled her head. = She stretched her neck side to side.
His feet swiped the carpet. = He walked slowly.
Their arms flew in the air. = They raised their arms in unison.

Basically, anything were the extremities are not attached to the body. ;)

Deepen POV:

She felt hands on her arm = Hands touched her arm

He could feel the heat of her breath on his face = Her breath heated his face

*Watch for filtering words- felt, heard, saw, thought, wondered, knew.

Punctuation/spelling/grammar:

Im not a super, genius when it come to finding all the errors' but some are obvious." Its always good to has you're sentences at least end with a period?

*If you come across something you're not sure about check out Grammar girl. :)

What about you? Do you have quick checklist for editing?