The Fine Art of Zipping It, or XYZ PDQ

Look, I keep my private life private, but let's just put it this way: I am a city girl. I have lots of different kinds of friends, with lots of different kinds of private lives, and some of them are quite expressive about them. I am friends with people who are dancers and actors and drag queens and sex therapists and racy comedians and wild-eyed-probably-high college students, and all sorts of things in between. The content that they post on social networks reflects that, and that's just great. 

I'm also friends with lots and lots of writers. Some of them are semi-insane ranting penmonkeys, or sassy romance or YA authors. Sometimes they post things that make me blush a bit... and THAT'S fine too. But writers or not, what do all these people have in common? The tone of their social media content reflects the tone of their work.

Now of course they might be MORE conservative in social media than they are in their work, but they are rarely more salacious. In other words... a YA novelist may choose to tweet about breakfast, or she may choose to tweet about pop culture or politics or any other dang thing that one talks about in public... but she probably won't start tweeting naked pics.  An burlesque dancer might tweet about all of those things including burlesque-pics... but she probably won't start tweeting links to snuff films.  

Personally, my blog is pretty much exactly how I would talk to my boss, or an editor, or a client, or my mom, mild cursing and all... nobody is going to get a big shock or be disturbed if they read the blog and then meet me, because the tone of my social media reflects the tone of my work.

So consider this a public service announcement.

If you are an author of children's books, could you please not post raunchy comments and explicit posts on your public social media sites?  Come on now. This isn't your private living room. You've followed me, and maybe I like the looks of your book, or maybe I've already read and liked it. You've followed a host of other booksellers and librarians and teachers, editors and agents, readers and potential fans.  Why did you follow those folks? So they'd get to know you and your book, right? So they'd help you promote it, bring it into their library, read it at storytime, put it in a kids hand? So that maybe they might want to buy or read (or rep! or publish!) the next one? Of course.

So you know very well that you are talking to not just your friends, but to a group of people who work with kids and/or kids books all day long. Do you seriously think I, or any one of those other professional children's book people, will want to bring you in for an event, or tell the marketing team about you, or otherwise promote your picture book when we know you are making comments about the looks of 16 year old "jailbait" on youtube, publicly bemoaning your erectile dysfunction on facebook, instagramming pictures of your rum-soaked bachelorette party, posting unfunny pedophilia jokes on your blog, or talking about MILFS at a school event on Twitter? Do you imagine a PARENT would see all this and give your book to their KID? Are you nuts? 

Seriously. If you want a locked twitter or a private facebook for just you and your wild hockey team pals or fellow members of your Bad Medicine cover band or Mile High Ladies Fan Club or whatever, go for it, and god bless. 

But if you have a public account on which you are promoting your work for children, and you are friending/following readers, teachers, librarians and publishing professionals, use your dang noodle. And not THAT noodle, mister.

"But Jennifer, that is CENSORSHIP!"  -- nope, I think it's actually just common sense. "But we're all ADULTS! Little kids aren't reading my facebook posts!"  -- sure, that's true. So if you're truly passionate about a topic, go for it. I would just suggest that if it is content that could not be printed in a newspaper, you're probably on the wrong track. I think of public social media like a cocktail party with colleagues and your boss... not a bachelor party with drinking buddies and a hooker. 

What do you guys think? Am I hopelessly conservative and out of touch?  I don't think so, but I am interested in other points of view.   

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Go Team Writemoreplease!

Yesterday, twitter-peep @BriaQuinlan asked the following questions of her followers:

QUESTION: What does it say to you when you see that an agent's clients are tight on twitter (or blogs, etc)??? Anything? ...[if] there's an obvious bond of some sort inside an agency - do you think that means anything about the agent herself? ... Would you feel like you were missing out if you joined an agency where the clients didn't have this "team" feeling?

So you might wonder, hey there Jenn, why should this provoke a response from you? After all, um... she's kinda sorta talking about agents like YOU.

And it is true. I have a group of clients who are very active on Twitter (as, of course, I am myself) - and they have been known to refer to themselves jokingly as the "Literaticult" (ha ha). Lots of my clients share manuscripts with one another, are critique partners, or are just pals, online or off. I try to offer galleys of my clients work to any other client who wants to read and asks me (subject to availability, of course.)

Also, I know some agents who host client retreats and say it is an amazing experience. I can't speak to that, I've never been to one, but I know people love them. The agency DOES host the Big Sur Writer's Conference, which many clients do attend (though it is open to the public, is mostly NON-clients who attend, and client attendance is by no means required or expected.) It is always great fun to be able to hang out with authors and talk books, and writing, in such a beautiful setting.

Anyway. Back on topic. I'm going to tell you a little story.

A certain client (who I LOVE btw, and who is a princess of social media, and I am in no way disparaging her glee or good intentions), when I signed her up, was swept away with enthusiasm."Jennifer!" she exclaimed. "I am going to start a LIST-SERV for your clients! And we'll have a GROUP BLOG! and you can do RETREATS! And we will be RAD and BRAG ABOUT EACH OTHER ON TWITTER and and and it will be soooo awesooome! Woooo!!!!"

Pretty sure that is a direct quote. ;-)

I told her to slow her roll. I think she might have been surprised that I wasn't into this idea.

But the fact is, though all my clients do have websites of some sort, only maybe half of them are active on Twitter or Facebook or have active blogs. Yes. The All-Powerful "Literaticult"... isn't. It only consists of half the people I rep. Less, even, when you consider that many folks have an account that they rarely use.

I don't want my authors who are not all over Twitter to ever feel like they are not one of the "cool kids." I don't want people who can't afford to fly to some far-off location for a retreat to feel like they are missing out on something important. I don't want people who just aren't interested in blogging or socializing with virtual friends or getting tons of newsy list-serv emails from strangers to feel like they are somehow being punished for having different priorities. Or for 'outsiders' to feel jealous, or like I am promoting cliquishness, because I am really really not.

Of course, I think that all my clients are adorable geniuses. I love all their books and think we all have similarly good taste, and so chances are good that they will like one another's books too. And I am glad that so many of them do seem to get along and have organically become friends, because I think they are all genuinely really great and talented people. So of course, I am totally fine with it if my clients meet up and have fun together. If they want to start their OWN retreats amongst themselves. If they want to be cheer one another on, be Twitter Pals or Blog Buddies or Crit Partners or whatever.  I just don't want it to feel like any of this is something that you must do to be "IN."

Fact: If you know who an agent's clients are because of social media, and read their books, it might give you insight into their taste, which might help you target your submission with accuracy. Fact: The "team" feeling definitely makes some authors, particularly newbie authors, feel a part of something, and gives them an automatic group of people who know what they are going through, which is all very nice for somebody starting out in this often-confusing business. Fact: When you are a full-time writer, it can be isolating - social media friends can help enormously, especially if they "get" where you are coming from. Fact: It is good PR for the agent to have high-profile clients talking to one another about their books, and today's newbies coming up together are tomorrow's stars.

But...

It is really easy for people in the blogosphere, or the twitterverse, to assume that everyone important is in the blogosphere or the twitterverse. But they really aren't. Not even close. Most people aren't big on Twitter. That's fine. If this is not your "thing", never fear.

If I had to choose one, I would 100% rather my clients be writing their next book than being goofballs with each other on the internet. The writing always has to come first.


SO... what do YOU think? Does it matter to you if you see these seeming agency "teams" on Twitter and the like? Do you feel that it tells you something about the agent? And if so, what?

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Tweet-a-Query Challenge & Conclusions

Earlier this evening, I issued a unique challenge to my tweeps: Tweet me a query, including type of project & a killer log-line, in less than 140 characters. The project could be real or fake - the challenge was to come up with something irresistible in the short space given.

An hour and literally hundreds of tweet-entries later, I've come to some conclusions. Of course this was just an exercise for fun, and some of these projects are jokes, but I think the lessons here are applicable to the regular query process too:

* You only have a few words. Use the right ones, and make them all count.

Transplantee Mishca's heart is not her own, now someone wants it back. Fight's on where she's most venerable - her dreams.-- Venerable? or Vulnerable?  Totally different meanings, totally different stories.

* When you introduce a bunch of foreign or peculiar words & names, the reader gets lost fast.  

Krishani brings war to Avristar and the girl he loves sacrifices herself to save him. Wait, what? Perhaps pick a word to tell us what kind of person (?) Krishani is, and what Avristar is, to ground us in the situation?

Can L`Arc live with Maria in happiness or will The Sodalis end it all again? -- Huh? Am I supposed to know what L'Arc or The Sodalis are?

* Remember that the book you sell today will probably not be released for a year or more.  

Tabby isn't a terrorist but when her bro blows up a genetics lab she might as well be. She's accused and in 2012 that = death. -- Really? 2012? Like, less than a year from now? I know it's an election year and all, but um...

* Premise is not the same as problem. Sometimes a unique enough premise can be enough to pique interest in a book (Werewolf Roller Derby!)... but usually we need a bit more than that.

 Eccentric family of inventors live in a zeppelin & fly around the world solving weather-related mysteries. -- OK, this is a setting, but so what? What happens? What is the problem? (And yes, I am interested in eccentric families, inventors, mysteries and zeppelins... but I still need to know that something happens in the book.) 

* Beware the List of Awesome  

A mashup of scifi, gaming, jedis, genetically enhanced heroes from space, a girl, an evil Mistress and a guy named Scrappy.  I am totally guilty of doing this "list of awesome things" pitch myself - and sometimes it works, particularly to set the scene or give a feeling of tone. But a list of awesome things, no matter how awesome they are, can't take the place of telling us what the problem is.

* Cliche is a shortcut, but it's also a crutch and your query will be stronger without it.

All Miah brought home from band trip was a hungry mosquito's gift of lycanthrophy. As if high school wasn't bad enough.  -- The first sentence was pretty hot, actually. But then the second ruined it. It would have been much better to introduce a specific reason or reasons why high school sucks for this kid, or to introduce it by saying what the kid EXPECTED to get out of Band Camp. ("Summer band camp was a break from getting slushee facials in the hall, but..." or "All he wanted from Band Camp was a shot with the sexy clarinet player, but instead...")  

* Don't Editorialize.

The heartwarming story of a Mathlete turned Sexpert. -- This is one of my clients books, full disclosure - and I think she is a great writer. But this is problematic as a pitch, primarily because of the "heartwarming story." Don't editorialize with "hilarious", "uproarious", "heartwarming", "pageturning", "unputdownable" or similar. Heartwarming? I'll be the judge of that. I'd have rather she used this space to tell us a tiny bit more about the Mathlete, or the Sexpert, or the setting, or what MAKES the Mathlete turn into a Sexpert.

 * It has to make sense. Beware derailing & straying too far from the point.  

4 new grads get first real jobs, find they can't cook, & set out to learn, while figuring out the mystery at work. -- I am not sure how any of these things have to do with the other. Is the problem that they can't cook and have to learn? What does that have to do with getting jobs? What mystery, and what does that have to do with cooking? They all work at the same place? Why didn't you say so? This leaves me with a lot of questions.

Taken by humans and made into a sex slave, 15 yrs old Effie struggles with PTSD and the deadly butterflies that consume her.  -- If she's taken by humans, that implies that she is NOT a human... so please tell me what she is. Does she have PTSD because of being taken and abused, or did she have it before? Are the deadly butterflies real, or imaginary? Are they literally consuming her? I am confused.

All that said, there were a few that made me crack up (Dude Looks Like M'Lady made me laugh for like, a full minute) -- and a lot of really fun sounding entries. These were my favorite, and I am going to let YOU guys vote on the winner. Please pick one (1) of the following & vote in comments or by tweet. Winner gets something nice:

1. BLOOD OF WOLVES is a reverse Beauty and the Beast tale set in a pre-steampunk world of ice, alchemy and monsters. 
2. Boy finds blank book, when he touches it it fills with his life story. Will he commit to his destiny or rewrite it? 
3. 12yo overachiever leads world's worst boy scouts in earning toughest merit badge yet - saving the world from alien invasion.
4. A student at one of the most competitive schools in Paris by day, a jewel thief on the city rooftops by night.
5. Werewolf Roller Derby. Splitting hairs, bones and wheels for the sake of the pack.

ETA: Based on extremely scientific polling data here and on twitter (ahem), WE HAVE WINNERS - #3 is the winner, #5 is the runner up. Books are on their way! Wooohooo! :D JL

 

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